a wrong turn!

A week ago i was here feeling excited about my son going to school, now i'm here again feeling worried and sighing. Playschool was a bad idea, or i should say sending him to Taska Glory was a nightmare!

When we first thought of sending Jayden there, our intentions are just as simple as hoping tat he'll be able to mingle with his peers there as well as learn some basic motor skills like using spoon, toilet-training, etc. It is a PLAYschool after all. What do you expect the kids to do there anyway? It turned out tat we are enrolling him for a school that are expecting too much from him in return.

We should be grateful tat the school was actually holding a trial session before recruiting all the kids. Not juz the school will be able to evaluate the kids; the parents in return have the opportunity to judge the school and the teachers' patience and determination in teaching!

Taska Glory was a wrong choice. When i told all my friends about it, they all commented about what the teacher said. First day, the principal told me my son has very bad discipline and very bad-tempered. He was throwing toys, and throwing himself on the floor as well as banging his head when he couldn't find us. She said this is very serious as it is very bad example for the kids there. Sigh! Doesn't they need to consider tat the kid is feeling anxious when he noticed tat his parents wasn't there? Somemore it is Jayden's first time being away from my side for so long, and there were so many other kids around.

At the end of the trial week, i was told tat my son has very serious problems. He was said to be autistic, having the tendency to injure himself as well as hyperactivity. As a mum, I was worried of cuz when the principal told me so. I cried and cried out of anxiety. The principal said if they were to take Jayden in, we'll have to bring him for an assessment to show tat he is normal.

We came to realise tat perhaps the school condition wasn't suitable for ahDen. It was way too big-scaled... having too many kids and too few teachers. Jayden must have being running around these few days when he saw tat the place was new, and he must be busy exploring. It must be pretty difficult for him to concentrate when the teachers called his name, for there were far too many things that attract his attention.

We did bring him to the Sensory Integration Centre, thinking of bringing him for an assessment. But from the bottom of our hearts, after i calmed down and thinking straight, we really don't feel tat there is anything wrong wid ahDen. Last Sat we brought him to see his paediatrics because of his cold tat was getting worse.

Dr.Huang was telling us not to worry about Jayden. She said she had seen ahDen for so many times, and it had never cross her mind tat he is autistic. She explained to us in details about wat she observed from ahDen, and as for hyperactive disorder, she ruled tat out as well. She told me tat ahDen is just more active compared to other child, but not til the hyperactive disorder phase. We felt so much relieved. She just told me tat the school wasn't right for him, and we should think of finding him a smaller scale school. I felt like hugging the doc tat time. I was so so so comforted when she told me tat. She even placed her hand on my arm to comfort me. Thanks so much Dr. Huang!

Hubby was telling me all these while tat the principal was wrong. All tat she ever told us was tat ahDen was spoiling all the other kid's fun, especially those whose parents paid for them to have holiday fun there! Jayden is juz a preschooler, I really don't know how much they expect from a 2year old. All those comments juz made me think tat i'm not disciplining my son enough and I made him into this monster. Even if we were to send him to a playschool in future, it would definately NOT be Taska Glory!

Thanks to all the concerns i got from friends. Uncle NgeeBang and Auntie Piang were among the first to tell me there's nothing wrong wid my son. If anything tat's wrong, it is the principal. Later, Aiwei wrote me a lengthy email even when she was so busy, telling me tat playschools nowadays are for money and shortcuts! Yes, they should juz tell me tat they couldn't cope wid my son but not to the extend tat he needs a special school. It was really terrible! I thought tat playschool and kindy teachers are supposed to be more loving and have more patience. All tat i ever wanted for my son is juz an environment where he can learn to socialise more with other kids. I am not able to provide him with all these at home, so I tot of playschool for him. It was definately a wrong gesture.

I cried and cried, thinking if there really is anything wrong wid my son. Now i juz hope he really is fine. All I can do is pray and hope tat i can be a better mother in disciplining him. Sigh! I really sound like a failure in being a mom...