cookies in a glass jar

It must be a pretty surprising title for my post. It's past 12am, and i'd actually gone to bed but couldn't sleep because too much was playing on my mind. I know i shud be getting some sleep whilst Jayden is asleep, cox he'll most probably wake up in another hour or two for his 'nite supper'!

I was thinking of one of my dream. I guess no one had ever had such a silly dream as me, but i always haf tis cute thought in my mind. If i am ever going to own a place of my own, a home i mean, i would want to haf a glass jar which contains Chipsmore cookies! I'd place this glass jar in my kitchen and whenever anyone wants a cookie or two, they can unscrew it's lid and put their hand into the big glass jar and chomp on a chocolate cookie!

=)) I dunno why i always haf tis picture in my mind, and lately it had became quite addictive. I keep on picturing Chipsmore in a glass jar sitting on a shelf in my kitchen. Sigh!! But i don't haf a kitchen yet.

Another thing i wish to haf if i am ever gonna own a house one day and a kitchen big enuf would be an island in my dry kitchen. I told my sis tat day if my kitchen is spacious enuf, i'd want an island build there, with a black granite top! My sis commented tat an island in the middle of the kitchen is really 'chor teng' (in the way) and why would u ever want to place such a 'white elephant' there? For me, I'd picture myself making salads and sandwiches on top of the island. Once in a while i can roll out some 'maki' there, or even prepare and mix the batter for my cake! I am wide awake now, but yet i'm still dreaming.

I guess i shud be getting into bed now. Ppl owest say think as if you are to leave this world tomorrow, and u would do all the things you hope never to regret tat u hadn't done and even say those words u had been holding back before it's too late. If i am to leave this world the very next day, I'd bring wid me one of my greatest regret in my life... not because i couldn't achieve my dream of having a glass jar full of chocolate cookies in my own kitchen, but of the words tat i haf yet to say!

it's a rainy Friday afternoon. It hardly rain here in Tanjung Aru Kota Kinabalu, probably because it's near to the beach, and normally places nearer to the beach are always scorching. However, it rain most of the afternoon here lately. Maybe it's the rainy season here... ??? i'm not sure. Jayden is asleep in his cradle. He's 6months old today. How fast time seems to zoom by and how much everyone had been thru. Finally my baby had learnt how to roll over. Seeing him trying his best to roll himself over was kinda funny. He was a bit wobbly at first, but juz a few days for him to practice this motor skill and he had mastered it quite fine now.

looking at the rain falling outside my glass window, there's alot playing in my mind. sometimes i wonder if i'm too protective over my baby, or is it juz my nature being over-cautious and hard to trust others. A few days ago we went to a coffeeshop near here and the owner of the coffeeshop had a baby gal who is one month older than Jayden. He asked me if i'm taking care of jayden by myself, and i answered him "yes.. i had been taking care of him since his birth til now." It's kinda funny cox almost everywhere i go tat is among one of the common question ppl would ask me. Well, he said his wife and him had no choice but to send their baby over to a nanny's place, and sometimes they would even leave her there to overnite wid her nanny.

For me, tat totally seems like an absolutely hard thing to do. I have no idea how i'll be able to part wid my baby. I'll miss him like crazy if i dont get to see him even for one hour. I know the problem lies within me, and it's still a hurdle tat i'm yet to jump over. Friends and even strangers often comment tat i'm really capable to be able to look after my baby myself. =) A friend told me tat she couldn't even bear to look after her baby for one whole day, and she'd send her son over to her mum early every morning before she part for work. Before i have jayden, it had never cross my mind tat i'll be able to take care of my own baby. I always pictured tat i'll leave my baby under a nanny's care and i'll still haf time to work or do things i like. How ironic it seems to be tat now i can't even bear to part wid my bb. It's funny how everything eventually turn out to be....
am i really being over-protective?