cny eve

6th Feb 2008 1330hrs - CNY is really just around the corner. Today is the last day of the Golden Pig in the Lunar calendar. This morning we had breakfast together wid my mum, sisters, bro n bro-in-law and my niece Esther. I felt so good being home, around my family. I guess I really miss my mum a lot. She was so happy when she saw Jayden… and oso it’s my 3rd sis first time to see Jayden.

This year is going to be the first CNY I spend over at my in-laws place and oso my first CNY wid Jayden around. When we brought him home to Kuching tat nite (4th Feb), thank goodness he only cried for a short while on the plane cox he was too sleepy and after tat he fell asleep. When he reached our old bedroom, he was all smiling and busy making ‘goo goo- gaa gaa’ sound for more than half an hour… non-stop! I guessed he was too excited being in this familiar room, or maybe he missed his old bedroom as much as I miss home!

Today is 6th Feb, and we will bring Jayden over to Jawa Clinic later for his jab. His injection was scheduled on today, and I really hope he’ll be okie tomorrow, though he might haf fever after the jab. Hopefully the paracetamol syrup wil be able to control his fever. This year CNY holds a different feeling over me. Perhaps it’s the feeling of family reunion tat really matters to me more than any other thing. I really felt I had grown up so much now wid my bb around. When I saw my mum, I really feel tat I miss her soooo much. Being a mummy myself now I finally understand the hardship raising a child and I truly understand the worries my mum owest carry in her heart when she raised all of us.
Looking at my younger sisters also, I can see tat they had all blossomed finely into young ladies. When my youngest sis reminded me tat she was almost 20yrs old tis morning, it kinda made me feel tat I’m even older now. I felt funny bcox she is still forever my little sis in my eyes.

I had so much to talk to mum. I discussed wid her tis morning about wat me and SH wanted to buy for my grandma (my mum’s mother). Grandma’s health had worsen so much in this year, and to make matter worse for her, my 3rd uncle (‘jiu-jiu’) had just passed away last month. It was so tragic for all of us. When my sis sms-ed me, I still couldn’t believe my eyes while I read her msg. Condition had owest been not so well for my mum’s family in Bau. Whenever we visit them every year, we’ll bring food and other goodies for them. They really need money, and with my grandma’s condition, every month they’ll need to spend extra for her medical bills. Now my 3rd ‘jiu-jiu’ had passed away, the burden of the family wil definitely be increased for the rest of my uncles.

Grandma hadn’t seen Jayden since he was born. She’s weak and frail now, and I had wanted to bring Jayden over to meet her for a long time but time is always not right for us. Hopefully this CNY I can bring Jayden over to meet my grandma, and I hope she will cheer up when she sees us. I still remember her crying when we went over to see her last year, and she kept on telling me she dunno if she can still see us again this year.
Being a parent myself now, I truly understand how important it is to be filial to our parents and elders. All the pain a mummy will had to go thru when giving birth and oso when bringing us up. All this is not easy.

Maybe I had really changed a lot, or maybe I had really grown up. The feeling of being home is really great and I feel very fortunate for everything tat I have. Perhaps others will find me haggard from the way I look now, always messy and carrying a bb around, or maybe it’ll be harder for me to be joining old frens for tea or supper out late at nite, but I truly feel myself lucky for everything tat I haf… my family and all the ones I luv. The feeling of love is deep down in our hearts, and maybe I am not good at showing it, or maybe there are those tat feel I’d forgotten about them. I just want to let those special ones know tat I always do care and luv them still. Happy Chinese New Year to all of u…