It was Friday, 7th of September, and i was on my way to my mum's place when my hubby called. I was supposed to go for another checkup on the following day, and i haven't realised that it was a public holiday. Since i had noticed a drop in the number of kicks my bb made recently, i decided i should not wait over the weekend for my weekly checkup.
Mum needed my to accompany her to settle some of her stuffs tat morn, so i decided to go over to see the gynae later in the evening. Both my legs were badly swollen by then, and as a matter of fact, it had started to hurt when i drive. Though my tummy were so big then, I still drove myself over to see my gynae tat day. In my mind it was juz another checkup and it'll be over very soon.
Around 3+pm, i went over to Dr. Ng's clinic. After the normal urine test, i was required to do another urine test. Doc told me tat there was sign of albumin (protein) in my first urine test, and i had to do another test to confirm the result. In my mind, it juz seems so harmless cox i do not know of the consequences. After the 2nd test, it was confirmed of the albumin existence in my urine and the reading was quite high. I had no idea of the scale they used, but i remembered she told me tat it was '3+' and it was not a good sign. After that she took my blood pressure, and surprisingly my bp tat day was higher than normal exceeding 150. My bp had been normal all the while and it had never occured to me tat i'm having hypertension, and i'm feeling perfectly fine without any dizziness.
Doc told me tat i'm suffering from a condition called 'pre-eclampsia'. Well, since the term is juz another medical term for me, i had no idea how serious it can actually be. She told me i had to be admitted to hospital at tat moment on emergency basis, and i should give birth ASAP. I wasn't prepared for all this, hubby is still in KK and will only be reaching tat nite. Somemore, there are still a lot of stuffs tat i hadn't gotten for bb, myself, and so many food i'd like to consume b4 my confinement started (tho there weren't much choices left for me since i'd been diagnosed with gestational diabetes), and oso i hadn't gotten the stuffs i need to bring to hosp ready cox the luggage bag was way up above the cupboard and i had no one to get it down for me!
I tried to negotiate wid the doc, telling her tat i want to wait 4 my hubby to come back b4 i give birth. She told me tat i must deliver tat very day, either thru induced-labour or caesarean-section. The sound of c-sec really scares me and i wanted natural birth so badly, but it seems to be impossible now. No matter wat, doc told me i MUST be admitted to hospital now, and i shouldn't delay the process anymore because if not, i might go into fitting and worse, be in coma.
Part II *********************************************
All the while i was really feeling perfectly fine, so to me it really doesn't seems like an emergency. Around 6.30pm, i was admitted to KPJ (Kuching Specialist Hosp). After the registration process, i was given a bed and de standard patient clothing. I felt so funny wearing the robe cox i really do not feel sick at all. The nurses there took my blood pressure again and oso did another urine test for me. I had told Dr. Ng tat hubby will be reaching around 9pm tat nite, and i'll only decide whether to give birth or not after he arrives. Around 7+pm, the nurses there informed me tat Dr. Ng wanted to speak to me. She told me tat my condition had worsen, and my bp had climbed again compared to afternoon, and my urine still show traces of albumin. She advised me not to wait for my hubby anymore and i must be induced right then. Even if after i'm being induced, i might need to wait for several hours (min 4-6hrs) before the drug take effect, and signs of contractions might begin, and my cervix might dilate.
I still hesitated, and the doc insisted me to do it. She keep on telling me tat i might go into fitting. Finally i agreed to be induced. Doc told me tat the nurses there will insert the drug for me. If my cervix will dilate after drug was inserted, then i can give birth naturally. If not, they'll haf to operate me. :((
Seems like hell when the nurse inserted the drug into me... sigh... i really hope i can deliver naturally. After the drug was inserted, i had to lie on bed for 2hrs without moving around. The nurses there took my bp every half an hour. I lie there looking at the clock in front of me, and glanced at the blurred tv once in a while. After 2hrs had passed, i still felt no contraction. After 9pm, Dr. Ng came to the ward to see me. She measured my bp again, and seems like my bp is reaching 170 now. She asked if my husband had arrived, and she need to speak to him immediately. SH had juz got off the plane then, and rushed over to the hosp.
When hubby arrived, doc told him of my condition, and said i must not wait even to be induced anymore. She needs to operate me then as my bp seems to rocket every hour and it was for my own safety. I was blurred and really reluctant to be operated. SH told me to go for c-sec, and not to think too much anymore. They brought me some papers to sign, and hubby told me to listen and agree to watever the doc has to say.
Part III *********************************************
Doc say i need to be put on drip first and a sample of my blood will be sent to lab for test, and we need to wait for the result to come back b4 they can start the operation. Then the nightmare began... my blood was taken, the nurses inserted a tube into my uretra (it really HURTS... *_*"), my swollen hand was poke so tat i could be on drip. It hurts terribly especially since my hand had oledi swell so much, when the needle was poked thru my skin, it made my hand swell even more. Besides glucose, there was another pack of drug. The nurse told me tat it's to control my bp.
Around 11pm, my blood test result came back. The doc in charge for performing the anesthetic process came to speak to me. He advised me to choose to be totally unconscious during the operation since it'll be easier to monitor my bp. I guessed it's best for me, since i will be totally unaware of the whole process.
Then i was transfered to another bed. The process of transfering me made me felt even more nervous. I felt as if i was attached to so many things; the drip, my packet of urine, and i was really scared if the nurses might accidentally pull any of the tubes on me! After tat i was wheeled out from Room307 Bed A towards the OT. I felt so ackward... since i had taken off my specs, all i can really see was the row of white lights all the way down the hall to the OT. My mum, sis, hubby were accompanying me. I was really very nervous but i keep on telling myself tat i'll see my bb really soon. For the time being tat seems to be the only thing tat can comfort my fears.
When they reach the doors of the OT, the nurses told my family members tat they can proceed no longer and can only be waiting out there for me. They wheeled me in and again transfered me to another bed. This time they slipped a piece of steel board underneath my whole body and then carried me at the count off 3, to transfer me to another bed. It felt so cold that my teeth had started to clatter... i guess the air-cond, plus the steel bed, plus my nervousness really made me so, so, so cold. I was shaking so badly til i was unable to control my jaws from shaking too. "Oh God! When will all this be over?"
As they wheeled me into another room, the lights was even more blinding. Guess i'm lucky tat i haf short-sighted, and without my specs, i really couldn't figure out how the room was like. If not, i would haf felt even more nervous. I juz knew there were a lot of ppl in the room. Once again they transfered me to another bed. The whole process was really quick, and they start to hang up my arms and legs. I felt like an animal tat was about to be operated! As i turned my head towards my left, i saw a small figure all dressed up in a blue-coloured robe. Tat seems to be my gynae. Then the doc in charge of the anesthetic procedure was talking to me. I remembered he was trying to make me feel less nervous, and told me tat the OT was really very cold. I guessed from the way my whole body was shaking, anyone definately know tat i was feeling really COLD. The figure dressed in blue robe on my left was starting to walk towards me, and it was Dr. Ng. She was telling me to relax. They put a mask to my face and i was told to take deep breath. One.... Two... Three... i started to pass out.....
Part IV *********************************************
When i opened my eyes again, i saw my hubby in front of me. I asked him wat time it was, and felt tat i was kinda hard to speak. It was past 1.30am, and i noticed tat there was a tube attached to my nose. I glanced down at my tummy and it seems to haf deflated a little, though it still seems to be quite big. SH was telling me how brave i had been, and tat bb was safe and sound asleep in the next room. I questioned him about the tube from my nose, and he told me tat it was supplying oxygen. When they wheeled me out of the OT, he said i was having difficulty breathing and I seem to be wanting to throw up and making loud gasps. I totally had no idea as i was still unconscious then. The docs said it might be because of the anesthetic effect, so tat's why they put the oxygen tube to my nose. I felt really tired, and closed my eyes again to rest.
I can say those 2 days at the hospital really seems like eternal. My mind was blurred and i couldn't seem to remember things correctly when i was there. Perhaps it was the effect of all the drugs. All i could remembered was the pain after the painkiller was gone. Not only did i felt as if i had been cut open, i felt as if all my organs were being misplaced. For the first nite, i couldn't really rest well. I started to haf mild fever because the needle for the drip on my hand was really hurting me so badly. My hands were so swollen tat it doesn't even look like my own hand. (In fact my whole person was swelling so badly!) The nurses keep on coming in to give me injection on my thighs. They said it's to prevent blood clot.
I felt much better after i can be off from the drip. I didn't feel hungry at all, but my lips were very dry. When i had to swallow down the painkillers, i finally had to start to drink and tat's when it start to develop another kind of pain within me. I felt as if each trickle of water down my intestines was pinching the inside of my stomach. I could hardly move, so i couldn't squirm myself to take my pain away like i always do. I can only close my eyes and wish all the pain away. I really wonder why it starts to hurt tat way. When i consult the doc the next day, i was told tat my uterus was shrinking and sometimes tat process will hurt. To be frank, i really thought tat they had messed around wid my intestines! (if KC reads tis, i'm sure he'll laugh like hell!)
On the 2nd nite, i started to develop a funny kind of rashes all over my body. When hubby first saw it on my neck, i assumed it was only heat rash. Then when the nurses saw it, they checked my whole body only to find tat other parts of my body was also covered wid the funny looking cresent-like red spots. They start to ask me if i'm allergic to any medication, and i really had no idea. I told them towards the last 2 months of my pregnancy, i had developed all kinds of rashes so i really had no idea if it's skin allergy. The next morning they informed my doc, and Dr. Ng said she'll be calling in the skin specialist. It was Sun morning, and darn... i'm sure there'll be some additional charges.
When they called in a Dr. Lim, he was surveying my rashes and seemed to be so excited. He said he had never seen anything like tat before, (as if i'm some alien from Mars)... i still remembered him telling me "It's very interesting. I had never seen anything like this before. Do u mind if i call my colleague in to take a look at tis? He might be able to explain." So in come another Dr. Pubalan (my sis said he's a very good skin doctor) and said a sample of my blood shud be taken immediately as he suspect i might haf SLE (a disease tat normally attack young women and only discovered when the immune system is low - tat's wat the doc told me). I had no idea wat SLE is, but my sis said it's very serious. From the expression of their faces, i started to feel as if i might be warded even longer, and i really wan to go home! And i really DO NOT WANT to take any blood test anymore. All thru my pregnancy, my blood had been taken for tis purpose, tat purpose... and now tat i had finally delivered, they tell me they need to take my blood again! Oh God... when will all this suffering ends! I'm starting to hate needles so much... when will they stop pricking me wid all those needles!!!! ARGHHHHH................ tears start to well in my eyes.
Part V *********************************************
Another worry in my mind was the medical cost. Dr. Ng told me tat if i can get down from bed and go to toilet and pee after the urine bag was removed, then i can go home. The medical fees at KPJ for natural birth is RM2k+. The budget i had in mind originally was tat amount, but now i had to set my budget even higher. C-sec was normally charged around RM5k+ at KPJ, and the difference of RM3k, i could haf used tat amount to buy a lot of stuffs for my bb... or even consider stem cell storage. And now i'm using additional drugs to control my bp and all those injections, i'm sure they'll charge me even more. I asked my hubby to go and checked the medical fees. When he returned, the amount really made me jump. It was far beyond from wat we had budgeted... RM7k+! I told myself tat i must be discharged tat very day. Who knows one more nite might cost us how much.
The nurses told me i should start to exercise my limbs. At first i start to roll my body to my sides. The big bandage plaster on my stomach made my movement a bit difficult, but it also made me feel safer for i assumed tat it'll help to hold my 'opened tummy' together. I forced myself to sit up in my bed. The feeling of blood gushing to the lower part of my body made me swallowed my saliva, holding back the fainting feeling of pain. I told my hubby and sisters to help me to get down from my bed and to practice walking. As i got my feet of the bed to touch the ground, i start to feel the terrible pain from the wound. I told myself i must bear wid the pain... and i must start walking to the next room to see my baby. I start to stand up.... i felt the coldness of the floor creeping through my socks. The pain was too painful for me to bear but i told them to help to carry me a little, i must take a few steps forward. I could hardly lift my legs, i only pushed both my feet forward alternately, to make myself move forward.
Three steps forward and i start to feel faint. All my blood seems to flow from my face and head towards my feet, and the buzzing sound in my ears start to grow stronger. I couldn't hear the voices of my sisters and hubby. I'm fainting.... and they dragged me back to my bed for me to lie down. I was deaf and couldn't hear wat they was telling me, i could only see their mouth moving.
I had tried my very best, but i could only make 3 steps... not even to the next room to see my bb. ='(
Part VI *********************************************
Whatever it takes, i told myself tat i must be discharged tat very day. The fear of fainting again and oso the pang of pain, made me feel doubtful of my strong will. I rested again in order to regain my energy. Thinking back i hadn't really been eating since the pack of glucose had been removed. Not only did i had no appetite to eat, but the pain i'm feeling in the inside of me just made me feel tat i wanted to sleep in order to forget about it.
Hubby and sis all told me to eat sth so tat i'll haf the strength to get up from bed. I started to chomp on some crackers and drank hot milo and rested. I really feel so helpless. Somewhere around 1pm, i made myself get up again. I sat on my bed and put my legs down, nearly touching the ground, for a while. By tat time, my sisters had gone home. I wan to practice to walk again, and i really need to go to the bathroom. Hubby rang the bell to get some assistance from the nurses there, and together wid their help, i finally reached the bathroom. When i saw myself in the mirror, i couldn't recognise myself. My face was as white as sheet, i really had no idea i can be so pale and yet so swollen. Even looking at myself scares me. I guess i must haf lost a lot of blood. My once pinkish cheeks were gone. When i got my blood test report, my blood count was oledi below the average level before the operation. After the operation, it'd dropped by half again. No wonder i felt so weak. I had lost so much blood!
Tat Sunday afternoon, around 3.30pm, i was discharged. Luckily they wheeled me with a wheel chair down to the carpark. I really couldn't take tat many steps. All i wanted to do was to lie down in bed and rest, and hope the wound will heal soon. On the way home, even when the car pass by slightly uneven roads, my wound hurts terribly. I felt my tummy being so wobbly, and the wound feels like parting open. When i reached home, the worst part was to climb the stairs to my bedroom. Hubby was there slowly urging me on, going up the stairs. I took slow and very small steps. Feels like heaven when i finally get to rest on my own bed. This is the place i'll be for the following weeks during my confinement period. I'd better start getting use.
Tat nite, things were not going on so fine. The confinement lady hadn't arrived yet, and i really had no idea how to look after a baby. When Jayden cries, i feel myself so useless because i really couldn't get up to help. The wound was hurting me so bad, and with every effort of getting up from the bed, it made my wound hurts. Luckily SH was there, and before i had learnt how to change bb's dirty diapers, feed him, carry him; the daddy had oledi mastered all the skills. I couldn't even carry my own bb back then. I juz hope i'll be strong enuf soon...
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