"~ d mirror of my life! ~"

Happy Mother's & Father's Day 2010

2010-07-10T14:21:00.007+08:00

During Mother's Day 2010, we had dinner at Upperstar Lintas together wid Pau's family & Chung's family. Later, we went to Yoyo to had a drink and chat, and was later joined by Ting's family. The kids had lots of fun running around at Yoyo, and i guessed they were pretty disturbing as well because you can see the other guest's unpleasant faces!

As for Father's Day 2010, we had a simple dinner cum celebration at Mint Peppermint Karamunsing Capital. That was our first time dining at Mint, and it serves Vietnamese cuisine. These were some snapshots i got for the food tat we ordered :
Daddy's cup of Vietnam coffee, Mummy's cup of hot lime juice, Ngiu-chap Hor Fun (mixture of beef parts), spring roll & Stew Beef.

The stew beef tastes superb, although it wasn't very suitable for kids because it has a mild spicy taste. Overall our dinner was simple and satisfying. My son ate alot, and that sure proved the beef served was tasty.

GraceVille

2010-06-16T14:55:00.003+08:00

Long time since the last time i sign in to my blog. We had moved in to GraceVille officially on 31st March 2010. It's like finally after 3yrs of marriage tat we have a place to call our own. Honestly, i don't mind staying in a small room just tat it wasn't the right environment for our son to grow up in. Every kid will wish to have a bigger place to call home i guess, rather than feeling being locked up in a small room everyday. Hehe...

Well, finally i get to be a real housewife... meaning i start to cook, wash & clean. In everything tat i do, as long as i have the heart to do it, i believe i can be quite good. ;)) and i believe the same goes for everyone else. Juggling housework plus taking care of kids and preparing 3meals or more for your family everyday, can be quite tough. So far, i'm still juggling it pretty well. Just tat it's fewer and fewer of ME time now.... i miss yoga n aerobics so much, and i miss working out so much. I think i still prefer being able to exercise at least 3times a week, so tat's why i tell myself to assume cleaning up the house as an exercise for myself.

Hmm... i purposely picked up this folder of my editted folders from my recycle bin so tat i can share wid cassandra. Wahai cassandra, pls do feel honoured bcox of my effort. This is my current unit in GraceVille, hope u get to visit it one day.

Welcoming the year of Tiger 2010!

2010-02-23T14:09:00.002+08:00

2 weeks ago, we were all so excited waiting for the arrival of CNY and now it's almost nearing the fifteenth day of Chinese New Year. This time back to Kuching as usual we were so busy and hectic. I truly enjoy meeting up with most of my frens, and getting some updates on how everyone is getting on. Although there are some frens which I couldn't meet up, no matter what, my wishes for all of you are juz as pure and true. I hope that all of you will have good and healthy days owest -- no matter where you are. Even if we don't get to see each other or reunite during CNY, juz wanna let you know tat there's a place still for you all in my heart!

Those few days back both hubby & Jayden were still sick, so it was kinda hard to go visiting around. I went out by myself during the 4th and 5th day, and I really felt so happy wid wat i achieved. On the 4th, i met up with Cassandra, ping soo, ah keng & ah bian! On the 5th, we went to k-box for a karaoke session. Although i really felt tired for having to 'fly' here & there, it juz felt great knowing tat I still have so many frens around tat never forgets me.

Being around with family is one of the greatest gift anyone can have. Mummy must have felt happy tat most of us are back (except for Feng), so she's busy cooking & preparing all our favourite food most of the time. So fast tat cny in kuching had passed. Tat day when i was in the plane, once we flew out of Kuching it was blazing hot sunny sky! In Kuching, it rained almost everyday i was back... keeping us feeling lazy & tired & very relaxed when we are at home. It still rain the way I like.... the cloudy skies and gloomy drizzles. I wonder if you find the rain still the same??? For me, it is still the same...

xmas 2009 sharing

2009-12-24T13:38:00.004+08:00

Tmr is Christmas day.... it'll be Jayden's baptism day and in the afternoon we'll be going to Kasih Sayang Kokol Hill. Xiao Yu purposely pops in to Facebook and asked if we'll be going... we did plan to go, juz tat we forgot to inform them & to pay!

Xiao Yu asked us to prepare the answer for 2 questions... which i find very meaningful. When she first asked me, I was scratching my head figuring wat i haf to say... but after an evening's time, i finally jotted down all my answers to the 2 questions and seems like my list is quite long!

The 2 meaningful questions which everyone will haf to share tmr are :-
(i) In 2009, I'm thankful that ...
(ii) In 2010, I hope that ...

These 2 questions seem to be very simple, but when Xiao Yu first ask me, it really got my mind rolling, thinking for answers. Finally these are what I wanna share, not only tmr but also here in my blog.

In 2009, I'm thankful that ...
- we have enough to eat, enough to use & enough to wear.
- we stay healthy and well. Although there are times of sickness, we are still able to pay for our medical bills and to heal with caring family members by our side.
- although 2009 is one of the toughest year where we'd suffered a great lost by losing an unborn child; we are thankful that we have God's grace & ppl around caring for us all the while & that we have Jayden by our side to cheer & lighten us up all the while.
- Most of all, I am thankful that I have a loving & patient husband who never fails to support me when i'm down and helping me to grow & be a better person.

In 2010, I hope that ...
- we will all continue to stay happy and healthy.
- we will all grow to love God even more.
- I, myself, will be a better person...
~ be a better wife to my husband
~ be a better mum to my son
~ be a better daughter to my mum and parent-in-laws
~ be a better sister to my siblings & brother n sister-in-laws.
- we continue to have God's grace in everything that we do.
- Last but not least, is that God's grace and blessings will continue to shine down on my sister's family, keeping her strong and continue to have faith in God always.

'dong jie' 09

2009-12-24T12:42:00.005+08:00

22nd Dec 09 - Today is the Chinese last festive of the year, the 'dong jie' - translated as winter celebration. Until now i still don't understand why does it falls on the 22nd Dec every year.... cause if according to the Chinese calendar then it's a different date every year!

Today hubby, as usual, will be very busy. There were so many things tat need to be done before year 2009 come to an end. I had no idea how the celebration will be tonite, but i'd been boiling red bean soup for the 'tang yuen' since 12pm. Last week, i bought a packet of this rice dumpling wid black sesame filling for RM5. There were 10big balls of dumplings in there. After the red bean soup is ready, i'll boil the rice dumplings and dump it into the red bean soup and make my special bowl of 'tang yuen' for my family!

When hubby came home at 5.30pm, he said we'll be having dinner outside together wid ahPau & family. This time the celebration only left us 2family for the rest are having family members at their place. ahPau suggested Wagamama Japanese restaurant, and since we'd never tried Wagamama before, we agreed. Although there were only a few of us, we had an enjoyable meal... and although it's japanese food for a chinese celebration, =)) nvm... we'll haf 'tang yuen' after japanese food. We brought some of my 'tang yuen' in homemade red bean soup over for ahPau and wife, figuring his working wife will be too busy to cook 'tang yuen'.

It was ahPau & wife's treat at Wagamama tonite.... really so 'paisei'. The dinner was worth the price for we got 50% discount since ChenIng (Pau's wife) is a member. In return, we treated them for Yen Ai's desserts. We had a simple and lovely celebration, thanks to ahPau & wife!

Our bento set tat nite - with fried chicken pieces, fried scallops, calamari, fish & prawn tempuras, oysters, baby octopus, beef bacon & turkey ham... although the final 2 seems to be a bit more western than japanese! Oh, the set goes wid 2 bowls of rice & 2 bowls of miso soup as well!

My bowl of 'ai xin tang yuen' (rice dumplings wid love) in red bean soup

thoughts

2009-12-16T23:59:00.003+08:00

Tonight once again i am feeling sentimental. I dunno why there seems to be a period of time when i'll feel down all of a sudden, and just wish tat time can turn back. Again, i'll blame this all on my hormones.

Christmas is coming real soon, and this year will be coming to an end. From other's point of view, many would think i'm very fortunate cox i need not work and all i need to do is to spend time wid my son at home. At times, I do feel bored. Thinking back of how life was before venturing into marriage, my life was packed wid works, dancing, gatherings, outings & performances. Sometimes I really do miss being able to do all the things tat i love without considering about anyone else. Things are different now. Whatever decision tat i make, it'll haf to include my hubby & son. Perhaps tis is wat it mean by growing up and becoming more matured. More responsibilities to handle and becoming more caring and 'mother'ly. Sigh!

I was trying to read back some old mails which owest bring me back previous memories.... deep and emotional. Until today I do not understand why.... do not understand myself and do not understand my heart.

Telling myself once more, I gotta be strong. All that had passed, I must let go. It will be best for everyone if we can all just forget and venture on. Another new year is coming.... what should I expect of this new year??? Will I still be treading on the same spot like wat I had done for the past 2 years??? So much more challenge to face in motherhood.... sometimes i just feel frail and need a place to rest. Crazy hormones.... i better go to bed now!

a wrong turn!

2009-12-09T14:42:00.005+08:00

A week ago i was here feeling excited about my son going to school, now i'm here again feeling worried and sighing. Playschool was a bad idea, or i should say sending him to Taska Glory was a nightmare!

When we first thought of sending Jayden there, our intentions are just as simple as hoping tat he'll be able to mingle with his peers there as well as learn some basic motor skills like using spoon, toilet-training, etc. It is a PLAYschool after all. What do you expect the kids to do there anyway? It turned out tat we are enrolling him for a school that are expecting too much from him in return.

We should be grateful tat the school was actually holding a trial session before recruiting all the kids. Not juz the school will be able to evaluate the kids; the parents in return have the opportunity to judge the school and the teachers' patience and determination in teaching!

Taska Glory was a wrong choice. When i told all my friends about it, they all commented about what the teacher said. First day, the principal told me my son has very bad discipline and very bad-tempered. He was throwing toys, and throwing himself on the floor as well as banging his head when he couldn't find us. She said this is very serious as it is very bad example for the kids there. Sigh! Doesn't they need to consider tat the kid is feeling anxious when he noticed tat his parents wasn't there? Somemore it is Jayden's first time being away from my side for so long, and there were so many other kids around.

At the end of the trial week, i was told tat my son has very serious problems. He was said to be autistic, having the tendency to injure himself as well as hyperactivity. As a mum, I was worried of cuz when the principal told me so. I cried and cried out of anxiety. The principal said if they were to take Jayden in, we'll have to bring him for an assessment to show tat he is normal.

We came to realise tat perhaps the school condition wasn't suitable for ahDen. It was way too big-scaled... having too many kids and too few teachers. Jayden must have being running around these few days when he saw tat the place was new, and he must be busy exploring. It must be pretty difficult for him to concentrate when the teachers called his name, for there were far too many things that attract his attention.

We did bring him to the Sensory Integration Centre, thinking of bringing him for an assessment. But from the bottom of our hearts, after i calmed down and thinking straight, we really don't feel tat there is anything wrong wid ahDen. Last Sat we brought him to see his paediatrics because of his cold tat was getting worse.

Dr.Huang was telling us not to worry about Jayden. She said she had seen ahDen for so many times, and it had never cross her mind tat he is autistic. She explained to us in details about wat she observed from ahDen, and as for hyperactive disorder, she ruled tat out as well. She told me tat ahDen is just more active compared to other child, but not til the hyperactive disorder phase. We felt so much relieved. She just told me tat the school wasn't right for him, and we should think of finding him a smaller scale school. I felt like hugging the doc tat time. I was so so so comforted when she told me tat. She even placed her hand on my arm to comfort me. Thanks so much Dr. Huang!

Hubby was telling me all these while tat the principal was wrong. All tat she ever told us was tat ahDen was spoiling all the other kid's fun, especially those whose parents paid for them to have holiday fun there! Jayden is juz a preschooler, I really don't know how much they expect from a 2year old. All those comments juz made me think tat i'm not disciplining my son enough and I made him into this monster. Even if we were to send him to a playschool in future, it would definately NOT be Taska Glory!

Thanks to all the concerns i got from friends. Uncle NgeeBang and Auntie Piang were among the first to tell me there's nothing wrong wid my son. If anything tat's wrong, it is the principal. Later, Aiwei wrote me a lengthy email even when she was so busy, telling me tat playschools nowadays are for money and shortcuts! Yes, they should juz tell me tat they couldn't cope wid my son but not to the extend tat he needs a special school. It was really terrible! I thought tat playschool and kindy teachers are supposed to be more loving and have more patience. All tat i ever wanted for my son is juz an environment where he can learn to socialise more with other kids. I am not able to provide him with all these at home, so I tot of playschool for him. It was definately a wrong gesture.

I cried and cried, thinking if there really is anything wrong wid my son. Now i juz hope he really is fine. All I can do is pray and hope tat i can be a better mother in disciplining him. Sigh! I really sound like a failure in being a mom...

nervous nervous!

2009-11-29T22:03:00.003+08:00

Nervous, panic, worried & excited! It's the kind of feeling one get when it's your first day at school tomorrow. I thought i would never ever experienced this kind of feeling anymore after i graduated from university. =))

But this time, i'm feeling it all over again on behalf of my son. It'll be his first day at preschool tomorrow for the holiday trial class. Honestly, both hubby & I wonder and making lots of assumptions on how little Jayden will react tmr. I really do hope he'll get use to it.

I was busy getting ready all his stuffs juz now, packed and repacked, juz to make sure i haf everything ready for him. It really made me think back of my school years. I remembered how my mum will nagged us, telling us to make sure we bring all the new text books and stationaries we need for school on the last nite before a new school semester starts. It was all too familiar... then i'll pack and repack and repack, juz to make sure everything fits into my schoolbag nice and tidy. It was really funny but i always make a big fuss of what i need to bring to school, especially when i'm in primary & secondary school!

My kindy years i juz remembered crying non-stop at the school for weeks, or was it months. First day at primary school, i cried too but this time better. I think i cried for juz one day maybe, cox i have a sis who will always pop into my class to check on me when she's free. Hahaha... =)) First day at secondary school of cuz i didn't cry, eventhough it was a totally new environment for me with new classmates. Anyway i still have Emmy & Imelda together with me in the new school.

The next new school was at Kolej Abdillah, when we were thrown there for our F6. Sigh! This really sucks, for it was my first experience to stay in a boarding school. Staying in a hostel and not being able to go home everyday after school was totally sth new to me. The homesick feeling was terrible, and I juz tot I'd never had survived F6. Thankfully we got a transfer to SMK St. Joseph, and the first day at St. Joe was less frantic for me because i know i will be able to go home to see my mum and eat homecook food after school everyday. So who cares if the F6 syllabus was a struggle! =))

Finally, my last admittance was to university. Okie, here goes again the feeling of being away from home. So, the familiar anxiety and nervousness came once more again. Somemore, I still haf to take a flight by myself and later settle for transport to UM, and checking into the hostel. All those were new experiences back then and I truly haf the courage to face everything, although it really wasn't easy.

Here I am again, having this frantic feeling of going to a new school with a new environment again. I guess I'll be going through all these experiences again in my life until my Jayden graduates from high school or perhaps university, hopefully. And now, the anxious mum must go to bed early too... for school starts tomorrow! Nite nite!

Sigh! ;(

2009-11-28T12:40:00.003+08:00

Today i cried in bed. Felt really heartache and heartbroken. Sigh! I was being overly sensitive maybe. After a few minutes of tears-shedding, i sat up in my bed and tell myself... "I cannot be a loser. Rather than juz sit here and sob, I must do my best to correct what i dislike!"

While Jayden was napping, i filled a quarter of a bucket with water and added detergent to it. Then i starting wiping and cleaning my room carpet, although i really don't know if whatever tat i'm doing will actually clean the carpet. After wiping it for minutes, then i finally sprayed Dettol freshener on the carpet.

After calming down and tell myself tat it's really not such a big fuss after all, and although tat i really dislike his behaviour of not respecting others, i tell myself tat i MUST bear with it because he is my elder and i respect him. After all the 5th Commandment in the bible tell us tat 'We Must Always Honour Our Parents', and I will abide wilingly.

Not everything will forever goes the way you wanted them to. What we can do is to make the best out of current situation and not be a loser, juz sitting down blaming and moping! Cheers Ying and stay tough!

happy bday 2 me 2009!

2009-10-24T12:14:00.027+08:00

Tis is my final year wid my age starting wid a number 2! Wow... din realise i'm so in my late twenties now! How fast time seems to zoom passed... I had a wonderful birthday tis year and 3 celebrations! I know how much i'm loved by loved ones around me, as well as frens!

1st Celebration :- Piang came to KK for the Borneo Marathon, and nb too came from labuan for the marathon. We stayed at Hyatt for a nite, and on Sunday the 11th (although it was days before my birthday), my two best friends insisted on celebrating my bday for me. When i was still single and those days back in Kuching, we always will celebrate our fren's bday together if we haf the chance to. Those were the days when we still plan for surprises and purposely go shopped for bday gifts or cake for the bday boy or gal! Although it is quite impossible for us to do this now, for everyone in the group is so far apart from each other, being in different places on planet earth... i know tat all of us truly cherish the time we used to spend together. Even though they are all juz memories now, at least it was part of our life before.

Sunday afternoon, we went to 1Borneo. We had a wonderful japanese meal at Michi. It was Piang & Nb's treat. The menu was reasonably priced, and the sushi there was great. I love the soft shell crab & sashimi. We ordered a set of Bento, some 'maki's and also 'Macha' - green tea ice cream!

2nd Celebration :- On the following Sunday again, 18th Oct, another bunch of frens decided to celebrate my bday for me. A few days before MeiChing called and asked if i'll be free on Sun. I was pretty suspicious of her suddenly asking if we'll be free for dinner. And finally she told me tat she wanted us to go over to her house to eat 'mee sua'. ;)) So sweet of her, purposely cooking 'Foochow Mee Sua' for me juz to celebrate my bday.

It had been quite sometime since the last time our group of church frens gathered together for dinner. Now tat we haf new babies into our group, at times it can be quite troublesome bringing all the kids out together for dinner. I really love to eat 'Foochow Mee Sua'. Although tat Sunday, MeiChing still need to work, she purposely rushed back home to cook meesua and dinner for all of us - 4 family tat is - wid the purpose of celebrating my bday. Really feel so touched! Thank you MeiChing & Daniel!

And also hugs & kisses to hubby! He purposely woke up early in the morning before we went to church, n went to the market to buy fish, prawn, etc.... He said since it's to celebrate my bday, we mustn't go empty handed. So he asked the chef to cook stew beef, butter prawns, steam fish & brinjals wid sambal. Ended up dinner was quite a feast. After dinner & cake, we had fruit feast as well. There were rambutans, lychees, langsat, guava & durians!

On the actual day, 19th Oct, i woke up and there were heaps of sms on my fon! All from family members & frens... although i'm one year older, i feel very happy bcox i feel tat i haf lots of frens & love ones around me who cares for me... and it's pretty obvious tat the number is growing! =)) Then they were fon calls and wishes in FaceBook too! Thanks all!

3rd Celebration :- Hubby purposely cooked me 'mee sua' again, wid the 'kampung' chicken he bought from market. It was really so sweet of him. Everytime when it's my bday, he'll cook 'sow mien' for me.... but when it's his bday, i don prepare 'sow mien' for him. Then there was this ice cream cake from Vedablu again tis year... but of different flavour - yogurt & ferrero rocher chocolate taste!

Hubby is forever tat sweet and caring. It's funny when u think tat a guy like him can cook. Actually he doesn't really cooks, but juz some specified dishes it's still okie for him. I love u darling!

Tat nite we went to Little Italy for our italian dinner. We had one large carnivora pizza, one beef lasagna and also promodoro garlic bread for appetizer. Yummy yum yum.... eat n eat n eat.... so pig!

Jayden's mummy will forever be young at heart.... ;)) Welcome 29!

Ohh... last but not least, birthday presents from hubby. Apart from my Nike MaryJane, hehe.... i've got a new Nike Yoga Mat & a Nike bottle! ;))

my Nike Mary Jane!

2009-09-15T12:03:00.008+08:00

Birthday present from hubby year 2009 - :)) ... i wanted to get a red pair of Nike ladies slip-on shoes since tat time we went shopping wid nb at the Nike store. When we went to Langkawi, the price for the Nike shoes there were really tempting. So much cheaper compared to the price in KK.

A pair of red colour Mary Jane was the initial pair i planned to get, but when i got to the shop at town tat day, the lady told us tat there'll be new stocks arriving tat very afternoon. So she suggested tat i came back later to take a look, and we went back to tat shop the very next day since we'll oso be going back to the nearby shops there to get chocolates. Finally i chose another pair of Mary Jane which the lady said was their new stock, and it felt really good on my feet. So pretty... even ahDen keeps on saying "mummy shoe shoe 'mei mei' " - 'mei mei' means pretty in mandarin! ;))

Yesterday he even tried to wear my shoes without any of us noticing, and keep on saying 'mei mei' when pointing to my gigantic shoes on his tiny feet!

'lao huang kua' ~ Old Cucumber Soup

2009-08-14T14:00:00.004+08:00

Last nite as we were shopping at Likas Servay, i went to get a pack of Sayur Manis or better known as 'su zai chai'. Tat'll be one of the dish for our dinner tonite. Then i saw this old cucumber and it reminded me of my mum. When i called back a few days ago, she said she couldn't find any old cucumber or 'lao huang kua' in Kuching. So the next time i go back Kuching, she reminded me to get her 2cucumbers. Mummy is so cute... tis really made me giggled on the phone. Tat time when we went to KL, she tasted the 'lao huang kua' soup when we ordered for Jayden's dinner and instantly my mum love the soup. She said tat it's very refreshing and can help to reduce body heat. ;)) So til today, she wanted very much to try to boil the soup on her own. Don worry mummy, i'll get u those old cucumbers when i go back Kuching early Sept!

I never tried boiling this soup before, although i think i might know the simple process of it. Tat's to dump all the ingredients inside the slow cooker and let it boil. I tot of searching for the recipe on the net first, but when we get home after following hubby to do his chores tis morning it was already running late. So i wash n cut the cucumber and dumped all the ingredients inside.... the chicken and red dates. I always think tat it's nicer to use bony pork or 'bak kut' to boil soup cox pork juz gif u tat stronger taste in soup. But i'll haf to do with chicken here cox we hardly buy any pork here in KK. So my soup....

And to share the recipe which i got from the net... Old Cucumber Soup from Hochiak! Delicious Asian Food Next time i'll try to add some dried scallops. My boy boy juz love to drink soup as much as i do... for although i'm a 'banana', i'm still a very pure Chinese. ;))

Oh... another additional items.... pineapples! Can u believe tat tis is one whole pineapple??? I think it shud be lar. I kept on pestering my hubby to buy me pineapples and finally he bought me one. I do love pineapples, sweet ones of cuz. So finally, pineapples as my afternoon snack. I think pineapple is one of the greatest fruit there ever was, cox it goes extremely well with a lot of drink especially cocktail. I know for sure Mek hated this fruit... and even if she sees tis pic, she'll start to shiver with fear! =))

wat is wrong?!?!

2009-08-10T12:49:00.003+08:00

Is there something wrong wid young couples nowadays??? Last Sat, i received a shocking news which really troubled me very much. I juz knew tat darling Mek was finally conceived and i was so happy for her tat i blurted out a happy congrats to her in msn, only to find out minutes later tat she had had a miscarriage a few days ago! It was shocking for none of us expected it to happen. Sigh! Miscarriages again.....

After my own experience; whenever friends asked me about a 2nd child, i'd came out clear with them about what happened. From there i have had lots of frens sharing wid me their own experience, and honestly u won't haf friends sharing these types of news with you unless if they are wiling to let u know. Surprisingly, the number of friends tat experienced miscarriages before are abundant. This really got me asking about why and why more. Sigh!

What is wrong wid humans nowadays? Is it really so hard to conceive healthily?? It is really very sad for anyone to haf to go through such an experience. It is cruel and hurting, and sometimes you wonder what have u done wrong to deserve all this. Like what Emmy told me before in her comment, we can plan but still God is the one who order our steps.

"I recognize my lost child is in His caring hands for all eternity..." This is a verse i got from a special prayer for special needs, and i'd like to share wid my fellow sisters who experienced similar experience, no matter wat religion you might be. Darling Mek, you must be strong again. Like i said, it's alright to cry and it's alright to mourn. Give yourself some time but after the mourning period, we must once again get up and be strong. The most wonderful thing about this world is there is still HOPE. Often it takes a misfortune to remind us of how fortunate we are. It wouldn't always be rainy days... and i have FAITH!

SicK!

2009-07-31T13:01:00.003+08:00

Tis morning very easily we spent RM165 on these 3 items. I got sick a few days ago, after mum & sis went home. I think i played too much, and after tat hubby got sick as well. Even common cold nowadays seem scary enough with the number of H1N1 cases increasing day by day. Sigh... and now it's reported the 4th death case in Malaysia and in Sabah alone there is already more than 200 cases, with 10 schools being closed down.

I went to clinic on Wednesday nite. Honestly i don't really feel tat sick, except for all my aching limbs and the cold shivers. The doc said i got mild fever and luckily i went to get some medicine soon enough. What concerns me most is tat i do not want my child to catch a cold too.... especially at this critical moment and children's immune system are always the weakest. Then last nite, hubby started to show the symptom of catching a cold too... so tis morning, after breakfast we straightaway went to Amway to buy tis 3 items.... Manuka Honey, Active 8, & Bio-C Plus.

I mixed one tablespoon of the Manuka Honey, which is popular for its antibacterial purpose, with the Active 8 Tangerine Drink Mix and gave some to ahDen. I'm drinking it now as well after swallowing 2 tablets of Bio-C, hopefully my cold goes away very, very soon. Later when hubby come home, i'll make another big mug of the nice honey drink for him.... hopefully we both get well soon! Really hope Jayden wont catch a cold too.

from Pregnant to Un-pregnant

2009-05-19T00:42:00.009+08:00

After moments of weeping n crying, i know i haf to stand up strong once again. I juz dunno why i felt so emotional tonite. Partly cox i felt terribly bored and a bit drunk. I pictured how my life had gone by these past 2years, how much i had missed and how much seem to slip away. A pang of hurt kept on thundering inside of me... tis time back to Kuching, my beloved hometown, so much had changed. Sigh... all the places i used to go to seemed so dead. Perhaps tis is a sign telling me i shud really, really juz buried away my pains and sorrows.

Before this a perfect family plan was in my mind, but now i can only say we'll let life goes on its natural course. So much tat happened, made me questioned about the true meaning of life. Tonite as i was typing tis post out, i juz couldn't stop crying. I know a lot of friends care deeply for me but yet, i felt so helpless. Maybe i shud juz blame it on my hormones... for causing me tis jumbled emotions.

Things to worry about, the blood clot in my uterus. After the D&C (dilation and curretage) surgery, i tot i'll be fine. But now, another worry continues. When i went for my followed-up checkup last Fri, the gynae told me there was still some blood clot in my uterus. Sigh.... i really dont want to undergo anymore surgery or be admitted to the ward again. The best thing to hope for now is for the blood clot to be extracted naturally wid my coming menses. And the thing the gynae told me to really watch out for is whether there will be any abnormal bleeding. If yes, i'll haf to be warded immediately. Sigh... i juz feel so tired...

The story of me from being pregnant to 'un-pregnant'...
8th March 2009 - Early morning around 0545am, i woke up and prepared myself. I need to be at Timberland Medical Center at 0630am and be warded for D&C. When i reached the hospital, i was put on the weighing scale. I felt like a hippo standing there and my weight was scary. All these while i tot i will haf a successful pregnancy, i didn't mind putting on extra weights. But when all this doesn't happened, it really dampened my spirit. So much more pounds for me to lose in the coming days!

They took my blood pressure reading and my pulse reading, and i was asked to changed into an akward blue robe with only two string attached at the back.... totally bare inside and only the robe covering me. I experienced this before when i gave birth to Jayden, but still i felt anxious. The only comfort tat i told myself over and over again was "mummy will be making me delicious 'kacang-ma' and when all this over, i can enjoy!" I don't mind if it was a lie i was repeating to myself but as long as it soothes my fear, i'll be chanting this over and over to myself!

As promised, at 0800am i was wheeled into the OT (operating theathre). I was really scared, but i know i'll be fine. At least no needles poking and drip yet. I had been fasting the whole nite before as i'll be put on general anesthesia, i wasn't allowed to eat or even drink after midnite. For the whole nite, i dreamt of me forgetting about my surgery appointment and went for a drink of water. I had this habit since i was a teenager to drink lots of water before sleep and even thru midnite. I juz haf this thinking tat i couldn't survive without water so can u imagined how suffering it was the whole nite thru!?!?!

When i was wheeled into the ward, i passed thru a lot of doors. At the first 2 doors, the nurses asked me the same question over and over again.
"Any dentures??" ---- No
"Ada(Got) contact lens???" ---- No
"Bila kali terakhir makan??" --- 10pm last nite
"Makan apa?? (Wat did u ate?)" ---- Noodles
"Kali terakhir minum? (Last time u drank?)" --- Before midnite

A nurse asked me finally, "are u scared??".... and i answered, "YES!" That was really the most comforting question to me. I knew all the questions before this was procedure, but all the while i was deeply terrified about wat was going to happen. Finally, the nurse asked me this caring question of whether i was afraid. She told me tat i don't haf to be scared as it will be a simple procedure. I felt so much comforted...

Before i was wheeled into the OT, i was placed outside it. Thank God i am short-sighted for everything seemed to be a big patch of blurry vision. I juz lied there thinking tat this will all be over very soon... the process of 'un-pregnant'ing me! After waiting for several minutes, i was wheeled inside the OT. I can sensed tat one of the nurses was a male... for he was covered with strong tobacco smell. I felt akward when he removed the top part of my robe for i was totally bare inside.

The first process was putting my right arm on a stand and a blood pressure measuring device was immediately wrapped around my right arm. Next, my left arm was extended the same way it was as my right arm, and i was wondering wat are they doing. Then i almost cursed "S**T! Drips... oh no... i hated those terribly!"

I tried my best to look away and not focused. The specialist in charge of the anesthesia was asking me which type of anesthesia i'd prefered, and i opted the masked one or the totally unconscious procedure. After tat, a small figure approached me and held my arms as she talked to me... then i finally realised it was Dr. Ng tat was talking to me and i felt deeply relaxed. She told me tat choosing the totally unconsious anesthetic i'll be awake faster and i juz need to relax. After tat, some tubes were inserted into my nostrils and i was told tat it was oxygen tubes. One of my fingers, i think it shud be one of my left fingers were clipped and a steady beep was immediately present. I was wondering if tat's my very own heartbeat for they seemed to be pretty stable and i was trying my very best to stay calm then.... after a few beep, not mistakenly tat must be my very own heartbeat!

Then i felt a cold shot of liquid flowing thru my left veins... i guessed the doc must haf injected sth into the drip. Arghh..... i juz hate tat feeling. It felt so terribly cold and the numbness made me unable to feel my arm. Seconds later, i was totally unaware.

Someone was calling me and i opened my eyes.... it was a nurse calling my surname "Tee... Tee...", she said sth like it's time to wake up now. I blinked my eyes a few times and wondered if it was all over. I was wheeled out of the operation theatre toward the ward and as i looked to my left, hubby was franctically catching up wid all the nurses. I told him, "How come so fast?? It's all done??" SiewHung looked at me puzzled.... then only i asked him wat time is it, and he said 9am. Ohh... so i had been in there for an hour??!??! I didn't felt like tat. I felt as if i had dozed off to sleep juz for a few minutes and waking up feeling so much refreshed!

As i was moved to my bed in the common ward, the only thing tat was troubling me was the bag of drip. How much i wanted to tell the nurses to remove it for me for it was again causing my left arm and hand starting to swell. Siewhung said he had to leave then since i was awake, to go home to take a look at Jayden and gif him his bath. Okie.... i was deeply worried about Jayden as well. I felt really fine and i told him i'll take a nap there.

When he left, i picked up my handphone and saw Mek's sms. I wanted to called nb to tell him tat all this was over. I called him, half blurry and told him tat i had such a good rest and when i woke up, i felt amazingly fine without any pain at all. The only difference was tat i wasn't pregnant anymore then. Then i sent an sms to Piang & Mek telling them both i was fine. Nb sent me an sms telling me tat i'd been a really brave gal.... before tis, i was whining to him telling him tat the thing i feared most is PAIN. When all tis was over, he was the first person i wanted to tell tat it didn't hurt like i imagined! He said tat i'd been a brave gal n really growned up now for my bravery.

I dozed off to sleep for awhile after tat and when i woke up, i was still all alone. Siewhung hadn't arrived yet, and i was starting to feel hungry. As i lay there on the bed with the curtains around me drawn, i heard a lot of other things going on in the ward. Someone in the ward had juz passed away... i heard the nursed talking about it, and the lady on the bed next to me had fever after her surgery. I knew i had lost a baby, although not a fully-grown one yet but the surgery i had been thru was really minor. I wasn't grieving, for i know tat there are more unfortunate ppl than me in this world.

Some ppl live their whole life blaming others for not being able to do more for them. At times, i am like tat too but at tat very moment, i knew wat i had been thru juz made me more matured and added another entry to my book of life experience. Still i was lying there telling myself tat my mum will be cooking delicious 'kacang-ma' for me and for the few days to come i'll haf confinement food to eat like chicken soup, pork belly soup, chicken or pork slices wid ginger & wine, pork leg with ginger & black vinegar, & etc... and tat was the only comfort i could give myself then. Of cuz i felt sad about the loss and i had never imagined tat i'll be 'un-pregnant' this way. But wat can I do? This is not my own will and not sth tat i can control. The only thing i can do is to face it and to move on.

The medical bill costed RM1k+... and i kept on telling mum tat wid juz an additional few hundreds ringgit, i might as well go thru natural birth at the private hospital and bring back a baby. A lot of things tat happened in life are beyond our control. I am definately not the type of person tat will opt for an abortion, not at all course. In this case, it juz really wasn't meant to be and not meant to be kept... so wat can i do otherwise? This is fate, and as i assumed it must be tat i do not haf any fate wid this child then. If i must let go, wat more can i do to hold on to it??? It isn't going to happen anyway, i might as well juz give in earlier. As I say, life goes on anyway.... so let's juz make the best out of it!

early pregnancy failure

2009-04-28T16:07:00.005+08:00

27th April 2009 - The long awaited Monday had finally came. I should be into my 8weeks of 2nd pregnancy by now. Two weeks ago while i was in Kuching, i went to Dr. Ng's clinic for a checkup. Tat time, i was 6weeks pregnant and a sac was visibly seen during the ultrasound. However, there wasn't any heartbeat from the embryo. So, the gynae said to go for another checkup 2weeks later and only if there's heartbeat can it be considered as a successful pregnancy.

I started to worry since then. No heartbeat... if i wasn't mistaken, it was not like tat in my first pregnancy. So finally Monday 27th came. I made an appointment wid Dr. Sarva here in KK for a checkup. The ultrasound showed nothing, so an internal scan was required. Again, a gestational sac was very visible, but it was empty! I was praying and hoping so hard tis time for the bb's heartbeat to be heard but there was only silence. The doc started telling me tat it wasn't a good sign.

8weeks into pregnancy, and a normal embryo will start to develop by now. I was dazzled and only part of wat the doc told me got inside my head. He started saying sth about miscarriage and how common tis problem is nowadays. I looked at him dumbfounded, not knowing wat to say. He said if it's really not successful, then the sac will need to be removed.

So, no baby?!?!... but all the pregnancy symptoms were so visible, and the urine test as well! They are real! There was sickness and fatigue; and me always feeling nauseous whenever i'm hungry. It felt like a cruel joke, and i started to cry in front of the doc. I hadn't realised how much i wanted tis pregnancy to happen, but i did! I had started informing family members and close frens, and i even put on weight. But no, i juz don't understand why a healthy me will haf a miscarriage.

Then the doctor started telling me tat i'm still young, and still haf lots of chance. I am perfectly clear of all tis logic and worst come to worst, i still haf Jayden. It's juz tat i was awfully disappointed and i didn't expect a miscarriage to happen. All i can do now is to wait for another 2weeks, and by tat time still totally nothing, the tissue will haf to be removed.

Yes, i'm scare but i know i will be alright. I had all this rational reasons keep on playing in my head, it's juz the emotional part of me starting to crumble down. How much we hope for it to happen; it seems so real and close but yet so far!
This is a link sis gave me. Thanks for giving me tis info, to help me understand more about wat happened. Whole day the question "Why? Why? Why?" kept on playing on my mind. The article is about :- Blighted Ovum

*******************************************

Perhaps tis is God's way of telling me tat we all weren't ready for another new member yet. I'm grateful tat i still haf Jayden around me, and today (Tues, 28th) he started kissing me alot. He learned how to kiss wid the "muakkkk" sound lately, and he's putting it into practice very often now. He'll pout his lips and lean closely over, (whether my cheeks, lips or even my arms) and plant his wet kiss on me! Although his saliva wil be all over me, but i'm deeply touched at how much i'm loved by him! :')
I'll be okay! I'll be fine!

tantrums update!

2009-04-06T14:14:00.002+08:00

Lately Jayden had been practicing some new tantrums, and it changes from day to day. Besides from being super-clingy to mummy, his taste in tv shows started to change as well. Before this it was the nursery rhymes wid colourful cartoons tat owest does the trick, but now it's Madagascar2. Two weeks ago when hubby had to go back to Sibu, leaving only me & Jayden here in Casuarina, i was so grateful i finally found a DVD tat he wanted to watch. He was sick tat time, and being super-fussy, super-clingy, asking for the impossibles to be done..... sigh! without tis solution, i'd had gone mad a long time ago.

Starting from Thursday, we watched Madagascar2 for SIX times! For the following days, still Madagascar2 playing on the tv and my little boy juz sat there, staring afix at the tv. Talk about attention span in toddlers.... they can watch the same thing over & over again, as long as they like it. This remind me about the goldfish theory, who mentioned tis b4... Piang, KC or Aiwei???.... couldn't remember. It is about goldfish wid really short attention span, 8seconds maybe, and tat is why they can swim around in their aquarium for the whole day, never getting bored! Poor thing! How about toddlers then??? I swear i could write the best subtitles for Madagascar2 now....

Even til today, Jayden still loves Madagascar2, escpecially the part where the "Move It Move It" song came, he'll be tapping his little foot and swaying his body immitating the characters in there!

Oh.... the temper tantrums. Okie a few weeks ago, it was the habit of not wanting to put on shirt & pants & even diapers! Whenever it was time to put on his clothings after his bath, Jayden will start to run away and hide at the corner of the bed, not wanting to put on his clothes! He'll even run to the big glass window and stood there looking outside at the passing cars or aeroplanes! Wat a big "show"! Tat lasted for about a week i think, and now this habit finally passed.

Thank God.... but then here comes the habit of "not wanting to bath"! Everyday when it's bath time, i'll be like a broken record playing "Jayden, it's bathtime. Let's go to the bathroom!" ... over & over again. He'll then start to ignore me, still playing wid his toys and finally when i really, really had to bath him, i'll be dragging him to the bathroom wid him wailing like crazy. Sigh!

Really tiring! He wasn't like tis previously, bathtime was one of his favourites. Suddenly all these new changes makes me ponder. I read tis article before saying tat alot of time toddler tend to be rebellious. Imagine you have to live your life having someone else telling you when to eat ur meals, when to take ur bath, when to go to bed.... perhaps you would be as rebellious (or maybe even more) as well. It makes alot of sense and thinking from this point of view, at least it helps me to control my temper and anger whenever Jayden starts to rebel. I juz have to come up wid more new tricks everyday of tricking him into doing wat i wanted. Sometimes i'm pretty amuse at myself being able to come up wid so many silly tricks.... but wat to do, u definately haf to think the way ur toddler is thinking, 10times faster and quicker so tat u can steer them into the correct-mummy way!

I must pack myself wid a lot more of patience and hopefully Jayden too wil be more cooperative. I guess these are the challenges for every mum.

luv for Swak Laksa

2009-03-18T13:07:00.002+08:00

Last Saturday i had this cravings for Sarawak Laksa. It actually started last week, then as the days passed my intense cravings grew together. When i told hubby about my cravings for swak laksa, he had this idea of cooking swak laksa on sunday noon. So we went out to buy the laksa paste on Saturday nite, and make sure we had all the ingredients we needed in the restaurant downstairs... ;)) .... beansprouts, eggs, chicken, prawns, parsley leaves, coconut milk and of cuz beehoon!

Sunday afternoon after we came back from church, hubby was busy going off to fix some leaking pipes in one of the room. So i tot maybe we wont be able to haf laksa then, and i went off to nap... dreaming about laksa in my mind and i feel even more hungry whenever i think of laksa. Around 2pm, hubby came back and said he'll go downstairs then to prepare laksa for me. ;))

At 3pm, TA-DA.... yummy fragrant Swak laksa filled with lots of warmth and love for me... delivered to my room together wid a glass of ice lemon tea and another glass of ice tea for hubby. Wow..... it looks so tempting, immediately satisfied my cravings!

2nd Anniversary

2009-03-12T12:46:00.005+08:00

On this nite, 10th March 2009, we celebrated our wedding 2nd anniversary at Yoshimi Japanese Restaurant. As usual, i'll say bringing Jayden out was a really tiring thing, and recently i rather eat in than out. I understand hubby's good intention of wanting to bring us out for a nice dinner as a celebration... =)) he came back around 515pm and asked if i'll be going for yoga classes. I didn't think i wanna go class tonite, so he suggested we had japanese food at Yoshimi.

It was our first time there, and we heard about how fresh the sushi there is. So off we went to Warisan Square around 730pm. The japanese food there was tasty. We ordered a set of the bento box meal... beef with teriyaki sauce and enoki mushroom, which was served with the usual miso soup and fruits. The other orders was avocado + mayo sushi, and another fresh tuna & salmon maki. The best of our order tat nite was the special soft shell crab sushi... with the crispy deepfried soft shell crab wrapped up in nori sheets and rice paper and totally no rice balls at all! The waitress suggested this dish to us, and we decided to give it a try... although it was quite costly, RM22 per dish. Thank God it tastes superb... else it'll be a waste of our money.

The bento box was purposely ordered for ahDen... cox there'll be some rice and soup for him. His appetite was really good tat nite, after his diarrhea for about a week. His first taste of the japanese rice made him wanted even more. =)) I thought he would spit out the mouthful of rice i fed him, but halfway while spitting the rice out, he tasted how different the rice was and immediately shoved it back into his mouth again using the back of his hand! He ate alot tat nite, about half a bowl of rice. Tis boy can be quite picky on his food at certain time however it was a relieve for both hubby & I for ahDen really hadn't been eating well lately bcox of his diarrhea.

Although the food there was quite expensive, but the freshness of the sushi pays off. The raw tuna and salmon tasted really well, i still tot hubby might feel sick from the raw fish but he said it was tasty tat nite.... so tat proves it's freshness. ;)) The tuna salmon maki was wrapped up uniquely, and i took my time figuring out how they actually make those maki and i hoped when i haf an opportunity in future, i can try it out and see if i got it correctly!

We had a nice but really quick meal. Not much time to enjoy our food now like previously. Little Jayden was oledi busy roaming the place, starting wid the inside of the restaurant, then eventually venturing to the walkway outside. Sigh... both hubby & I took turn to look after the naughty little 'monkey'. After dinner we had a stroll at Warisan Square and later 'ta pau' hubby's favourite 1901 hotdog for supper tat nite. He owest loves 1901 so much, so as a treat for him tat nite, i didn't stopped him from buying it! Hehehe.... so i can oso eat later when the 'monkey' is in bed! Wahahaaa....

gifts from japan

2009-03-04T10:10:00.009+08:00

2 weeks ago tis Piang had a funny personal message in her msn. She wrote "monkey no see, monkey no hear, monkey no talk".... ???? Wat is piang yee up to tis time??? Why suddenly so many monkeys, and yet no see, no hear & no talk?!?!

When i asked her about this, she said i will understand when i see it. Peishan was back from japan for a holiday during tat time.... hmm... she's still in Msia now though, having a long break. I'm pretty sure she must be enjoying herself very, very much; missing her family and oso the food here.

Mum came to KK last Wed nite, and she brought along wid her peishan's souvenirs for me. The souvenirs really went a long way.... from Japan to KK (during peishan's transit in KK but i didn't meet up wid her for she only had an hour before her flight back to Kuching). Then the souvenirs went to peishan's aunt's house in Kuching and piang went to collect it, which she delivered to my mum after tat. Then finally from Kuching the souvenirs flew again to KK, and came to Casuarina Hotel! ;))

Okie... now i understand wat is "monkey no see, monkey no hear & monkey no talk". So cute... each of the monkey can be unhooked and u can haf a selection of 1monkey on the chain, or 2monkeys on the chain, or 3monkeys on the chain or no monkey at all! ;))

eh... shud be monkey no see, monkey no talk, monkey no hear!
The funny part was the lollipop bath ball. Okie... when my sis first told me about the souvenirs piang sent over to mum's house, she oledi told me got lollipop which peishan bought for jayden. Then i was thinking why peishan buy ahDen lollipop cox ahDen cant eat sweet yet, he might swallowed the whole thing & choke. Somemore the 'lollipop' is sooooo big, how to finish??!! (I never like lollipop cox i can never finish licking one!) Then again i tell myself, maybe the lollipop is for me... some special sweet from japan maybe =))

When i saw the 'lollipop', i immediately burst out loud. It was printed there Chupa Chups, then beneath it a clear print of BATH BALL. =)) Oh... so tis is the bath ball tat peishan mentioned she'll give me cox she won't be using it. Now suddenly everything make sense... cannot be ahDen so young oledi eat such a big lollipop! Tis one really funny.... luckily i din open and eat lar... but clearly printed there tat it wasn't edible, juz some ppl can be quite blind at time.... (my sister ahMing!)

Chupa Chups for Jayden!
eh... strawberry flavoured chupa chups but not edible icon??!??
B-A-T-H B-A-L-L !!! *_*"'
Strawberry bathball for me n my bathtub!
Then there was the miso soup paste purposely sent over from japan. I told peishan tat it was kinda costly here in msia, and she bought the paste for me from japan. I know i must have troubled her for she was asking if can handcarry the paste or even better if she just throw it inside her check-in luggage. I haven't try cooking the miso paste yet, cox mum was here for the last few days. Maybe tmr i can start cooking and we'll haf miso soup for dinner. Thanks and *HUGS* to peishan darling for buying me all these souvenirs. Very much treasured, and the good laugh i had from them!

miso soup paste

Valentine's Day '09

2009-02-16T11:05:00.023+08:00

14th February 2009 fell on a Saturday this year. Tis shud be our 13th Valentine together now, including those years which we couldn't spend together but this year's Valentine celebration is really one of the most different, among the most special we both ever had. Tonnes of thanks to our members of our cell group. All the us are married and blessed with a child or two, and on this saturday nite we all decided to celebrate together. The venue for our Valentine's celebration was no other than Casuarina, and both hubby & I were in charge of the food tat nite. MeiChing & Daniel were in charged of the event tat nite, whereas LingLing was in charge of our Valentine gifts. ;p

Before tat day, both hubby & I drafted out the menu for Valentine's dinner. We planned and budgeted the cost for our dinner, minding not to charge too much for the western cuisine tat nite. Part of the reason was we are intending to let our frens try out the dishes at Casuarina, and seeking for improvement comments. I mixed a special drink for all our guests tat nite, and two nites b4, i made a few glasses of my mixed drink and had hubby picked the one he likes best. It was really fun, having some creativity for a change and all the guests really love it. I called it my "Refreshing Lime Soda", and everyone said it was really refreshing n nice, and i shared with them my recipe. ;)) A fren even asked if i took hotel management course before, =)) but i told him tat it was merely juz my interest of making new dishes n drinks.

Preparation of the restaurant for the event tat nite.
Hubby & I decorated the restaurant for the event tat nite. We hung up teddies & bunnies in a heart-shaped ring a few nites before, and Jayden was the most excited of us all. He kept on pointing to all the red dangling soft toys, and said "oooww owww" (his baby language of expressing any dogs, cats, or animals...) =)) When his daddy hold him high up as if trying to touch the teddies, he'll chuckled loudly. Sigh..... how cute my Jayden is ...

All the guests except for the single photographer tat nite.
Tat nite we all dressed up nicely. By 7.30pm, all our guests had arrived. The dimly litted restaurant with flickers of tealight candles gave everyone a romantic feel. We were supposed to haf 5 couples tat nite, but there were only 9adults for ahPau's wife and baby Nathan are still in Sibu for confinement. I told him i'll lend him ahDen to be his date tat nite. =))

We started our dinner with the soup of the day, cream of mushroom soup. As we were having our dinner, the event for tat nite started. Daniel leaded the event session tat nite, and he started with each couple telling everyone how they met their other half and why they'd chosen to tie their knots. It was kinda funny and really touching hearing everyone sharing their experiences, and really a more 'get-to-know-one-another' opportunity.

Cream of mushroom soup & prawn cocktail salad
Halfway while sharing, the prawn cocktail salad and pasta were served. For the pasta, there were 5 plates of spaghetti bolognese and and penne carbonara each, meant for couple sharing. Having the opportunity where your spouse announces publicly why he/she picks you as the companion to walk down the road of marriage, as well as the type of support he/she provides you, was really priceless. With the romantic surrounding, once again u feel like u r still in your courtship moments, aahhh.... juz tat there are kids and babies around, making noises and both the parents needing to attend to them once in awhile.

While waiting for our main course tat nite, we had the peak of our event. Each pair of couple were told to bring our wedding rings tat nite, and everyone wondered wat we haf to do with tat. Once again we exchanged vows and then exchanged our wedding rings. It was juz like 2 years ago back in the church where we exchanged our vows. After tat, the gentleman will gif their wife a bouquet of flowers, followed by the wife presenting their beloved husband with a box of chocolate. Finally, the husband gave their wife a kiss in front of all the others, =)) and had their photos taken.

4 pairs of blessed wedding rings in the midst of litted candles, chocs & flowers.
It was a total rerun of our wedding when hubby & I exchanged our vows in our blurry mandarin. Part of it was funny but most of all it was touching and deeply felt. Daniel played the role as our minister tat nite, and we recite our vows following his guidance. The romantic environment really enhanced all tat was going on.

Exchanging vows

Putting the ring on hubby's finger

A kiss as a token of love

Our main course tat nite was a small portion of sirloin steaks and chicken chops. Daniel brought a bottle of Lambrusco red wine, and it was superb to go with the steaks. Thanks Daniel for owest wiling to share his red wine wid all of us. After the main course, we had fresh fruits as desserts. Everyone was full and satisfied with the meal tat nite, and the drinks were a blast where everyone had more than one serving. =)) The event tat nite lasted past 10pm, and the kids were really sleepy except for Jayden. We finished off all tat we could, and watever we couldn't we let our guests 'tapau' back home.

Photos of our main course of sirloin steak and chicken chops

Tat nite in our room, hubby & I recalled back wat everyone had shared at the dinner table. It seems to be tat for each & every couple, we tend to complement each other's weaknesses as well as sharing some similar prospects in life. For most of us, it is through God's blessings tat we haf each other and eventually became man & wife. We thank God for all his blessings all this while, and oso providing us with such a bunch of good frens in Christ, owest making us having this homely feeling whenever we gather although each of us is far away from our hometown.

Both hubby & I spent lots of Valentines together before, but we never spent one like this ever. We both agreed tat it was one of the most special we ever had, and as for my bouquet of flower, it was definately one of the best i ever had. Looking at the beautifully folded flowers using RM1 note, i was deeply impressed with sister LingLing's patience & love. She made a total of 5bouquets for every couple, and without love and patience, i'm sure she could never had done tat. Thanks to to ChangHe, LingLing's hubby, for buying us all the nice 'rochers' from Labuan and last but not least, we are all thankful to Daniel & MeiChing for chairing this wonderful event.

Hopefully in time to come, even with children on the way, both hubby & I will get to celebrate each and every Valentine together and of cuz being accompanied by our kids. It's true tat we could not celebrate it like those days back during our courtship, for at least another 20+years to come, but having the opportunity to celebrate Valentine wid ur kids around you is another form of God's grace. I truly cherish my family and Happy Valentine's Day to all!

My special bouquet of flowers and chocolates!

CNY 2009

2009-02-05T11:07:00.004+08:00

Finally Chinese New Year is here, and now it's almost the end of the 15th-day of New Year. This New Year really juz seemed to be so unlike all the previous CNYs. Partly in Kuching it had been raining almost everyday, kinda felt gloomy and sunshine-less. So many friends i wished to meet but ended up i failed to meet up wid some of them. There's Shirley and her new baby which i really wished to visit, then ChiKeng and her new baby too, and not forgetting dearest PingSoo whom i hadn't seen in 2years time. Sigh!!! So sorry frens for not being able to make a reunion wid u guys.

On 22nd-24th Jan, we were back in Sibu town. We drove a long 5hrs ride there, stayed 2nites and drove another 5hrs long ride back. Really feel quite worn out, but it's worth the ride there. The main reason back there was to visit both hubby's grandmas. Hubby's 'nye-ma' (mother-side grandma) hadn't seen Jayden before, and hubby himself hadn't seen her for more than 5yrs! She wasn't in her best state of health, and we really can't expect her to come out to Kuching n pay us a visit instead. So it's only right for us as youngsters to take the initiative to pay her a visit.

As for hubby's 'ah ma' (father-side grandma), she was delighted to see Jayden. She told us tat she had wanted to see how much ahDen had grown. 'ah ma' forever loves hubby so much, tat she purposely cooked 'pek tin (8-chen) mee sua' for us. She'd been busy in the kitchen on the day we arrived. It was really quite heartache to see 'ah ma' going thru all the trouble preparing a nice meal for us. It had been raining and raining too back in Sibu then. But it was really worth the trip, seeing the elders so happy and delighted to see their great grandson. At least this is part of our responsibilities as parents, and hopefully we can plan another trip back to Marudi soon to visit my grandma. She hadn't seen Jayden before as well and hopefully we'll be able to find time to visit her soon.

On Chinese New Year eve, ahDen had fever. It must had been pretty tiring for him, flying back from KK to Kuching and then followed by a long car ride back to Sibu. He hadn't had enuf rest, and tat's part of the reason he fell sick. Luckily his fever resided after i gaf him his Dhamol syrup and he had a nite of good rest. All the loud noises of firecrackers & fireworks at 12am didn't make him stir even once! However around 1am on the 1stDay of NewYear, hubby rushed out to settled something and only coming back to rest around 3+am. So practically on the 1st Day of CNY, after going to my mum's house & my sis's house, we went back home around 2pm and let both the father and son nap. Tat nite we stayed in, better let ahDen take as much rest as he can. Moreover, mum & my youngest sis had departed for Penang. Sigh!!

On the 2nd Day of CNY, again it was drizzling. Piang called asking we will be able to join their visiting. Hmm... really wish i could, but then we had to go out to search for a bday cake for Amanda (hubby's niece). We'll be celebrating her bday tat nite, and most of the shops in town are still closed so hubby & I tot we better start hunting early. Thank God we managed to buy her a cake from Secret Recipe.... Chocolate Mud Cake. After tat we went over to hubby's 2nd sis's house, and had a wonderful meal there. There were so many nice food to eat and ahDen had a wonderful time there playing wid all his cousin sisters & brothers.

Around 4pm, I went out by myself to yeechee (ah ma)'s house to meet up wid all my PowerMoves' frens. Too bad PingSoo and ahKeng couldn't be there, but i met most of the others. Felt really happy seeing all of them, and although ah ma was super busy and we didn't had any time to chat at all, instead i was partly there helping her to serve her guests... haha... but i had a good time wid SiawTing, ahBian, and the rest. Wow... it had been so long since i meet up wid them, and i juz haf tis feeling of really missing those old times deep down in my heart. Around 5+pm, I really had to leave. Remembering we'll be celebrating Amanda's bday tat nite, so i really haf to excuse myself. Too bad didn't haf the opportunity to chat wid ah ma lor... she even wanted to gif me angpow, =))... but i felt 'pai sei' receiving it from her. She said we r all her 'sons & daughters' ... so touching... ;)) If i'd brought jayden there, then for sure i won't feel embarassed to get it from her. ;))

When i reached home, hubby & I, together wid ahDen rushed out to 'tapau' all the food for tat nite's bday party. It was already almost 6pm, and we rushed to Boulevard and 'tapau' sushi party pack n temaki's' from Sushi King & then pizzas from Pizza Hut. Then we rushed to Central Park McD and 'tapau' 10sets of Happy Meal and another set of McValue Meal especially for my brother. After making way to send the delivery meal to my brother, we rushed home wid all the children already eagerly waiting at the car porch. :))

On the 3rd Day of CNY, we had agreed to visit Seng's new house. I'd promised him before tat i'll try my best to visit his new house. We made plans wid ngeebang, piang, KC, yinpei & aiwei to go to 17th Mile. Around 2pm i called Piang and found out tat they were all still waiting for KC at Piang's house, so i told her we'll go to Seng's house first. When we reached 7th Mile, there was a terrible jam. Shud be a bad accident in front we presumed, and we used the old road avoiding the jam. When we reached 17th Mile, we juz went on hunting for Seng's house. Uncle Seng didn't answered my call, so we juz drove straight in and luckily we saw his car parked at one of the house. We went in and only to realised tat it was actually his dad's new house. ;)) We had a simple and nice meal of curry chicken and 'lo' duck and after tat we went over to Seng's new house.
Seng's new house is very nice and i must say his taste for the interior deco was quite similar to mine & SH. The colour matching was modern looking and though it wasn't really spacious but wid the bright lighting and the glossy floor tiles, it made the place looked bigger than it really was. The sofa set was uniquely green&white in colour, matching the dark green painted wall in front. And Seng sorry for ahDen's naughtiness of mixing ur cuttlefish wid the peanuts! Hahaha =)) so funny... ended up a new type of tidbits to serve ur guests.

Tat nite, we had a gathering wid our F5 Stampin friends at MJC Courtyard Sanctuary. We purposely left ahDen at hubby's eldest sis's house, and the 2 of us went to join our old frens. They organised a BBQ at CheeYong's house, and we had figured out wid ahDen around, for sure the both of us wont be able to eat in peace, so we decided not to bring him along. At the gathering, we met up wid some really old frens which we hadn't seen in ages. The funny part was there's tis moment of running thru all ur previous memories trying to search for a name when u see a familiar face. =)) It had been 10 long years since we last seen some of them! Really wid so much changes in everyone.... another heave of big sigh! This is a sigh of gratitude and happiness though... thank God for this opportunity and the still existing friendship between all of us.

On the 4th Day of CNY, it was a rainy day. It seemed so sad and gloomy, draining out all the NY mood in us. As usual ahDen was sound asleep past noon time, and though PingSoo tried to meet up wid me, really so sorry cox ahDen wasn't feeling so well again. He really played too much wid all his cousins and he ate too much mandarin oranges. So when he wanted to rest, i juz let him rest as much as he can. Around 4pm, some frens visited us - Colin, Wilson, CheeYong & his YingYing, & Gary. These guys although so grown up can sometime be so childish. Cheeyong's yingying gave ahDen an angpow... her first year giving out angpows, and can see she really loves kids. Better work hard now CheeYong! =)) Oh... okie, the childish part, this Colin & Wilson keep on playing wid each other's car wipers! When they were about to leave, Colin purposely lifted Wilson's car wiper, then Wilson playing even, came out of his car in the rain and lifted Colin's car wiper as well. Apalah... so big still wan to play like tat.... even ahDen amazed at wat all the UNCLEs r doing! Then Wilson's car alarm went "cuckoo", kept on ringing and ended up CheeYong had to get down from his car and helped him! =))

When the guys left, we waited for Piang and the rest to arrive. Piang came first, then ah yao, ngeebang and sockhui. Then we went over to Aiwei's house. No KC tat day cox he was stranded at his house, wid the roads around his house being flooded. After Aiwei's house, hubby, ahDen & me, went over to pick up my bro to haf dinner at SugarBun The Spring. Initially it was ngeebang or ahYao's idea of dining at SugarBun. Piang had to leave cox her mum prepared dinner for her. In the end ngeebang & ahYao couldn't make it to The Spring, so after dinner we sent my bro home. After tat, we headed for mek's house. Then we waited for quite awhile there for ngeebang & ahYao to arrive. I think by the time we left, it was almost 10pm. As usual ahDen was so busy at mek's house, and i was busy too helping her to childproof her house temporarily for the period ahDen was there. Any longer i think i'm going to faint!

On the 5th Day, everything seemed to be back to normal. Totally no more CNY mood liao, and we were out early morning to pay our car's road tax. The post office was so packed, partly oledi overflowing wid humans! Wat to do... tat's our last day in Kuching, and we had to settle all these stuff b4 going back to KK. Mum still not back from Penang yet, and ahMing sis only departed from Sibu tat afternoon. We left for KK tat nite, and tat's the end of CNY in Kuching. Really tis year's CNY was kinda dull, partly i guessed bcox of the weather, and partly bcox we had different priority this year, and partly oso bcox mum wasn't in Kch.

Missed out the opportunity to meet up wid some old frens. Hopefully we can arrange for other meetings somehow n somewhere if possible. No matter wat, still wish all of u Happy Chinese New Year!

LeVI'S

2009-01-17T11:15:00.009+08:00

Hooray! I got my first pair of Levi's Jeans. On Thurs nite, 15/01/09, we went to Palm Square. I told hubby a few days ago tat how good it'll be if i can haf a pair of Levi's jeans. Since now i finally managed to slim down a little (only a little after so many hard work), but it'll be the best time for me to look good in it rather than after a few more years to go, when i gave birth to baby 2nd or 3rd, then tat time really so damn hard to slim down, all my dreams to ever look good in a pair of Levi's jeans will vanish!

It's something like the childhood dream piang mentioned, well, juz tat it's more like a teenager-hood dream. We owest have so many dreamssssss........ I remembered when shopping wid hiewming & yunnyi once, hiewming was telling us tat when we were in uni last time, we really hope to own a pair of Levi's. Then thinking we don't haf any income yet and still studying, we better not waste tat kind of money. When we started working, eventually we can afford a pair of Levi's but when tat time comes, we still find it far too much to spend on a pair of jeans. Ended up, we will never get a pair for ourself! Wonder if hiewming, yunnyi and the rest finally gotten their first pair of Levi's???

Yesterday i was telling piang, how 'hiaw' i was for letting SH spent RM200+ on a pair of Levi's for me. I tot of not jotting it in my blog here cox it seems kinda like bragging, but ended up piang convinced me to do so. Okie, perhaps sth memorable for myself and i really think partly bcox it's not my money but SH's, tat i really finally own a pair of Levi's. Yes, he spoils me sometimes and even he feel heartache to buy himself any new clothings for CNY, he'll still buy for Jayden and me.

If my sis read this and if mum knows about tis, for sure they'll nag me for spending unwisely. As for myself, yes, still a little heartache for spending so much on myself. On top of tat, I juz hope i can fit into my Levi's for a few more years to come. Can slim down somemore but definately cannot grow sideways anymore, unless of cuz if i get pregnant again, but hopefully after giving birth, then slim down again and can fit back into my pair of Levi's once more. =))

seaweed crackers for SALE!

2009-01-16T13:17:00.008+08:00

;)) It is pretty funny tat ah Ying doing tis kinda stuff. Okie, before tis i planned to make some tidbits for CNY while i haf the time here in KK, then bring it back to Kuching. Cox we planned to go back to Sibu on the 22nd and come back the day before CNY eve, i figured out i wouldn't haf anytime back in Kuching to make the goodies i intended to.

When u haf a hubby tat loves to eat, yes, u'll try ur best to feed him. So hubby brought me to buy all the raw materials needed, and my first attempt was making the seaweed crackers. It turned out to be really successful, being super-crispy, cox the deep-fried part we asked the chef at the restaurant downstairs to do it for us, and deep frying using the big hob definately gives u a different outcome. So much better cox the oil was super hot, and the crackers super crispy than the ones i previously made at home.

Then hubby had tis idea. He said, to pack all the crackers i made into plastic containers and we can sell them at the hotel's counter. Worse come to worse if no one buy, then we bring back to Kuching as CNY goodies. Sounds interesting, and this is the kind of stuff my 'forever business-minded hubby' will do!

So he brought me to buy some lovely plastic containers, and it was pretty costly too. They were the better type cox once u press the red cover down, it's pretty hard to re-open unless u break the seal. Hmm... seems to be pretty secure, and i made labels to go wid the containers.

I told piang tat i'm planning to sell my seaweed crackers, and darling piang immediately said she'll be my first customer. ;)) *HUGS* Thanks darling for the support, i juz hope i won't receive any complaints from u. She didn't even asked how much i was selling per tub, oledi she ordered 2 cox she wanted to gif 1 to nb's dad. I told her she juz need to buy 1 from me, and as for nb, i planned to gif him 1 tub. All the previous years, nb owest gave me fresh tilapia fish for CNY, and i'd never given him anything back before. Hopefully he doesn't mind tis simple handmade gift from me. Wat to do... i don't earn my own dime now, so definately must save. =))

I think i sold 1 tub yesterday cox when we got back last nite, hubby noticed 1 tub missing from the counter. Yippee... at least one and better than none! Wahaha.... silly me being so happy rite! ;)) I oso made chicken floss rolls, but i don't plan to sell it lar. The rolls much more work and although i'm using chicken floss, really haf to mind the 'halal-ness' of my products lor, n i'm not sure if it's considered 'halal' so better not try to sell tat. I wonder how much i'll be able to earn... the raw materials all SH's money, and he said if can sell, then all the money earned wil go inside my pocket. =)) Pretty good deal, heh!

final week of 2008

2008-12-30T12:05:00.003+08:00

U start off a good day wid a good breakfast! Tat's how i feel today. Before tis, i was kinda lazy to blog about life recently, and although i had lots of encounters, i juz feel lazy to start typing it away here in my blog. Tis morning, i really enjoyed my breakfast. We bought turkey ham last nite and hubby made yummy ham sandwiches for me tis morn. The turkey ham was heavenly, together wid crusty buttered toasts, lettuce, tomatoes as well as rich mayonnaise overflowing the ham. Wow... feel so full n energetic now.

On Xmas day, we went to church and we got big packets of tidbits. Ah den was so happy, when he saw all the gift packets at the church, til he exclaimed... "WAH!" Tis was ahDen's 2nd xmas and remembering on tis day last year, we juz came over from Kuching to KotaKinabalu wid ahDen. At night, we went to KK Specialist to visit ahPau n his wife and their newborn. A baby born on xmas day itself, how special... and i saw lots of other infants there. All so cute and adorable. They were so tiny and fragile, and i really feel so glad while looking at them. They are all so innocent and so sweet, all wrapped up in their blankets feeling warm and safe. Sigh... made me think back of how tiny ahDen used to be too!

On Saturday afternoon, i went to Brix Saloon at Lintas. At first i wanted to get a perm. Okie, yes... i juz had my perm back in Sept, but now the curls all seem to be out of place. So hubby dragged me to the saloon (cox i kept on complaining), and then he left wid ahDen. I told them i wanted to perm my hair. Then they look at my really dry hair and say i shouldn't perm it anymore, cox it's really dry. Somemore they say, i still haf my perm. It's juz tat i didn't styled it wid any mousse so it showed no curls at all. Hahaha.... I told them the last perm i had was digital perm.

Then they asked me, is it the type where they put cable into each and every rollers??? I replied "yes". I guessed digital perm wont leave ur hair as dried as mine, but tat's the problem wid my hair. I have really thick, black hair and dry as well. And the last perm i had, i asked for a 'lady's perm'. I think ladies perm are the type tat ur hair wont be tat curly, but juz wave and u'll haf to style it for the curls to show. My sis told me tat ladies perm wont make u look so 'auntie' lor, cox some curls really make u look so 'auntie'. =)) So in the end, they gave me a haircut, to make my hair lesser volume. After the haircut, (which i am definately most satisfied) the curls really came back. My hair are lesser and way much stylish now, so being the 'hiaw hiaw' me, i asked for my hair to be coloured. Yippee!!! Finally can dye my hair, for i had waited a long time to get my hair coloured. ;)) I spent RM200 for the haircut and hair colouring. It was pretty expensive, but now i really believe KK's haircut much better than Kuching cox the ppl here more stylish lor. Really dare to cut...

After i'm done, I called hubby to come to pick me up. I tot he was at home, but no, he brought ahDen out. Really keng! When they came, ahDen was in the front passenger seat, wid the safety belt strapped across him. Wah... my bb being such a good boy lor. No fuss at all! ;)) Then once SH saw me, he asked "u coloured ur hair?" ;)) Now i really feel pleased ("shuang") cox tat mean my colour obvious lor, cox SH oso can tell the difference. Hubby bought me 'bak pau' (meat buns) from Inanam cox i din haf any lunch, and yes it was delicious. When i reached home, while waiting to pick up ngeebang from the bus station, i had a short nap. After we all took our bath, we went out to pick up Uncle ngeebang.

Knowing nb will be here over the weekend, really cheered me up. As usual, we talked non-stop. After we picked him up from Plaza Wawasan, we went to 1Borneo and had dinner at NewYork NewYork. Tis time really can try the Giant Yankee Burger. Really so big til nb the 'tham chiak' eater oso cannot finish lor! But before the burger we ordered Pepperoni Pizza as well, then we had dessert called "Lake Chocolate". Both the dessert and the Giant Yankee Burger were labeled as "SUPER SINFUL", so nb & I said must try the super sinful one! =)) As for the dessert, it had strawberries and fried banana fritters in a plate of chocolate wid a scoop of ice cream in the middle. Hmm... okie.... a bit too sweet for me, but the banana fritters really nice. If for piang, the dessert sure heavenly liao!

As for Sunday, we didn't do much.... we had breakfast at "Kah Hiong Ngiu Chap" at Hilltop. The beef noodles nice, and the beef soup superb. I love the beef tripe, beef tendons, stew meat..... all wah.... i told nb must try the beef noodles there, cox appeared in tv before. ;)) Tat nite we ate at Beverly Hills, then after tat went to Warisan Square to shop. Nb saw Big Apple Donuts, then he immediately bought 3 doughnuts and chomp! chomp! chomp! Finish liao! We told him to enjoy all the doughnuts by himself, cox we can get it here anytime we want but then labuan no Big Apple lor. I managed to buy myself a dress while nb help me to babysit ahDen. ;)) When we headed for home, we went to Tanjung Aru Beach to 'ta pau' steamed sweetcorn, chicken wings and satays. Really pig out lor over the weekend.

Monday morn, a public holiday, so we went breakfast at Hilltop again but tis time we ate fish head meehoon. Nb had tomyam beehoon. After breakfast, we went to Wisma Merdeka then nb saw this new shop selling Japan Takoyaki. So he say he want to eat "tako tako". Okie... he ate again but only 1takoyaki per person, then passed a shop selling 'kuih-muih', he said he wanted to eat 'kuih'. Then i asked him buy some so can eat in the bus later. So he bought some, then while we window-shopped, he ate n ate the kuih until not much liao. Hahaha.... then i saw Dott's eggtarts. I told nb tat Dott's eggtarts are the best, so i 'ta pau' 2 eggtarts and 2 chicken puffs so he can eat in the bus later.

After shopping at Wisma Merdeka, we went to Sadong Jaya and sat in a coffeeshop while waiting for time to pass. Nb's bus timed at 1.30pm so when almost 1pm liao, we said juz go to the bus station lar... then wait there if the bus not depart yet. Luckily the bus station really near, when we went there, nb's bus start to depart liao. Tat time only 1.05pm... and he really chased after the bus. Luckily the bus waited for him, and somemore he got scolded lor. Aiyo.... b4 tis we were still making fun saying if he miss his bus, then he haf to stay in KK liao or SH haf to send him to Menumbok. Phew! Thinking of nb chasing after the bus, really quite funny lor but luckily he caught the bus! There r some passengers even later than nb, really missed the bus liao.

Tat afternoon came bek home, we watched dvd and slept. Really dunno wat else to do liao. If public holiday, sometimes can oso be very 'sien' and super bored! But i had an enjoyable weekend wid nb around, i guess it juz tat feeling 2008 will slip away soon tat makes me feel 'sien'! So fast time passed lor... but hor, i know i'm still young lar. =))

xmas around the corner!

2008-12-17T14:46:00.002+08:00

The wonderful feeling of xmas is in the air, really nearing now, bringing 2008 to an end. Today i changed all my background music to a wonderful christmas song to share wid all of u. Besides tat, i posted a xmas banner sending xmas greetings to all my friends out there, wherever u are... far or near. The xmas song playing in the background is "WE ARE THE REASON", a very touching and really nice church xmas song. Whenever xmas is around the corner, i owest haf this wonderful song playing in my mind, bringing me back to the moment where we sung this song on stage in a choir!

Back in the year 2000, i think, we performed at Perdanasiswa back in UM (University of Malaya). Tat was a christmas celebration concert held by the Christian Society of UM, and we practiced weeks to perform perfectly on stage. If i hadn't remembered wrongly, there was a mime going on while we sung out this song on stage. It was so long ago, and all the memories about xmas back then was so vague. Tat time i had juz entered UM, and it was among one of the most memorable event for me back then.

The song is about how everyone in the world always hoping to receive xmas gift, but we never realised we all had been given the greatest gift of all - tat's the birth of Lord Jesus, and Him coming to this world to sacrifice for all of us. Many ppl around never understand why we celebrate xmas every year. Xmas itself is to celebrate Lord Jesus's bday, and it's kinda sad how xmas eventually bcame a different kind of celebration among youths today... things like binge-ing out in the pub n getting urself drunk! For me, i juz love the wonderful feeling of christmas. It juz gives u this peaceful feeling deep inside u, and also all the lovely decos around, it makes u feel like u r in wonderland.

Another funny memory to share, as i sit here typing out all these, i suddenly rememberd how all my sisters n bro used to hung up old socks in our bedroom on xmas eve. I couldn't remember how this trend eventually existed in our family. And as the years passed, sis Ming & I eventually became 'Santa Claus' instead of mum & dad. As elder sisters, every year we'll try to place goodies into our younger bro & sis's old socks, which they hung up in their bedroom. Then they'll wake up on xmas morn, feeling so excited n happy and rushed to find wat's in store for them in their socks! It was really happy seeing the smiles on their faces, juz how innocent n happy children can be!

Another sweet memory will be remembering how every year b4 dad was bedridden, he'll dragged in the big flower pot where mum planted a fir tree. Then we'll decorate the tree with beautiful ornaments and blinking lights, then every nite we'll juz switched off the living room light, and sit by the tree and gazed at it. =)) Underneath the tree, we'll place dozens of nicely wrapped up empty boxes. It was really beautiful and even now i'd grown up, all those are juz the wonderful childhood memories u'll forever haf in ur mind. How i missed all those sweet moments so so so much!

Dear frens, please take some time to indulge in the lyrics of this song We Are The Reason. A little xmas gift from me to all of u, and may the new year ahead brings nothing but happiness & blessings to all of u.

"As little children we would dream of Christmas morn
Of all the gifts and toys we knew we’d find
But we never realized a baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives

*We were the reason that He gave His life
We were the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

As the years went by we learned more about gifts
The giving of ourselves and what that means
On a dark and cloudy day a man hung crying in the rain
All because of love
All because of love

*Chorus

I finally found the reason for living
It’s in giving every part of my heart to Him
And all that I do every word that I say
I’ll be giving my all just for Him, for Him

We are the reason that He gave His life
We are the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

He is my reason to live "

everytime

2008-12-10T13:11:00.005+08:00

Last Saturday afternoon, i went for yoga class. I missed a number of classes tat week, so i better start replacing the classes i missed before the end of the month, else my timetable will be pretty pack. During the class tat afternoon, surprisingly all the songs Angela played are my favourites. Sometimes n somewhere in ur memories, u juz haf tis whole bunch of ur favourite songs. They can be like the songs u listen to when u r a teenager, when u r in university, when u started working.... there are juz these certain category of songs u used to listen to, according to the time they existed in ur life.

During the yoga workout, this wonderful n touching song was playing in the air... and i was cracking my head thinking wat the title of the song was. I know it's a song by Britney Spears cox i used to haf tis song back a few years ago, and the lyrics as well. Then i remembered Piang mentioned how she loves Britney in her blog, well... honestly i don love or hate her, but i juz love some of her songs and i love some of her dance moves. ;)) I'm not really particular, juz tat any nice songs i hear, suits my taste and my sense of music, then i will juz fall in love wid tat song.

Still thinking about the song, and actually i was singing the song out in my mind while working out. Well yes, sometimes when u r indulge in the music, u can perform better. But in yoga, u kinda lose ur balance, and my balancing really poor. Then i suddenly remembered the song title... Everytime. It was a really nice song, very sad and yes... if u see the music tv, even makes u feel like crying. Something to share, the lyrics for Everytime - Britney Spears:-

Notice me, take my hand
Why are we strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me

Everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you, baby

I make believe that you are here
It's the only way I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy

And everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you, baby

I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song's my sorry

At night I pray
That soon your face will fade away

And everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you, baby

If any of u r interested, can check out the music video at YouTube too.... juz click on the following link :- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAXgGWY6X5E

Labuan & Kundasang Trip

2008-12-03T15:56:00.009+08:00

Last few days were quite tiring, but we certainly had lots of fun. It's like a family trip since we haf little Jayden, and bringing him outing although tiring it was fascinating as well, cox he gets to see and learn new things. Uncle KingChing and family were here in KotaKinabalu for the past few days and we planned to travel by car to a few places. They reached here on Friday 28/11/08 around 3.30pm and after they checked in to our hotel, we drove them around town for a short trip. Tat nite, we drove to Gayang Seafood to haf our dinner. We had nice seafood for dinner, but i guess not for SiaoTing, my cousin sister. Poor darling... she juz doesn't dare to taste most of the weird shellfish which she'd never seen before. Luckily she still love the prawns and luckily too, Jason and Iris (ahTing's elder bro & sis) were enjoying their seafood meal. After our meal, we went to Giant Kolombong to get some tidbits. We'll haf a long trip the next day, heading for Labuan and sigh... i haven't even pack our bags yet!

Early the next morning, as early as 6.30am, we all squeezed into hubby's Ninja King. We need to reach the Menumbok Jetty before 9.30am. Although the ferry will depart at 10.30am, we need to check in an hour earlier and none of us had ever been to Menumbok before, so hubby said it's better we r off earlier so we can hunt for the place in case we got lost. He kinda haf an idea in mind where tis Menumbok is supposed to be, so off we all go on our way to Labuan. 2hrs drive and we reached the Menumbok Jetty. I tot we were early but the queue was already so long, so we queued our car and then went off to a stall on the opposite road to haf our breakfast. Hubby walked to the counter in front to check in first, and then we haf our breakfast wil waiting for time to pass. Our first time using the ferry, and it was really a not-so-nice experience.

We were stupid enuf, cox when the time came for us to board the ferry, then we all sit nicely in our car and while we were about to board the ferry, the man asked to see our passenger tickets. Okie.... none of us actually tot we need to get passenger tickets, somemore the check-in person at the counter didn't say anything at all. So my uncle & I rushed down to buy the passenger tickets, RM5 per person. The return ticket from Menumbok to Labuan for the car itself oledi costs RM116, so it's really not cheap.

Nvm... we bought our passengers ticket and after we parked our car, more like squeezed our car into the parking space (for we can only get down from one side)... then we went up the stairs to the passengers seating area. Oh My God... it was awfully packed! All the people there were so inconsiderate. Most of them didn't need tat much seats, but they were like putting their bags n plastic bags whole row across the seats from where they were seating. There were so many ppl wandering around, not having any seats at all. Imagine the management.... they juz hold out their palms, ask for money and not even providing the service they should be giving. First impression, Labuan Ferry Management sucks!

In the end, uncle paid for 3VIP seats in the lounge... which costs RM13 per person, so tat ahDen & me, ahTing and Iris can sit comfortably inside. The ferry only departed at 11.15am, imagined how much time they actually wasted from the actual departure 10.30am. So again, Labuan Ferry sucks! I remembered ngeebang telling me how 'lansi' ppl in Labuan can be. (Lansi - our term for describing snobbish & showoff ppl, 'berlagak' in BM, and 'ke leng ke si' in Hokkien) Yes, nb... i know for sure u'll be looking out for wat i'll be blogging about 'tu tu shua' . Previously, when nb was telling me about the 'lansi-ness' u can get there, i really disbelieved him, telling him it was him being sensitive. Now, i really believe him. The reason we could give was tat there weren't any competitions from other company, more like it's a monopoly kind of service. So their attitude eventually became snobbish, knowing tat u couldn't be getting similar service elsewhere, and in the end u'll still haf to go back to them!

Around 1.15pm i think, we reached Labuan. I really start to feel tired. Then everyone was rushing to get off the ferry. It was really hot in Labuan, and carrying ahDen, i really don't want him to be standing outside in the hot sun so we waited for hubby to move his car forward so we can get into the car. For his car was stuck in the middle, not having any space for us to board our car at all. Uncle KingChing, Aunt Catherine & Jason had oledi got off the ferry, and were waiting for us outside. We waited for the officer in charge of the traffic to ask hubby to move his car forward.

Finally when hubby drove his car forward, we got into the car. And then, the intolerable officer started shouting at us. He was like "u cannot board the car here. Why didn't get in juz now?" Hellooo.... mr. stupid officer, didn't u see how packed it was for us to even open our car doors.... how r we supposed to get into the car. Somemore i was carrying a baby and talking about being inconsiderate. If we weren't rushing, i'll be quarreling wid mr. stupid officer again, so after we all got into the car, meaning ahTing & Iris & ahDen & me, hubby sped off down the ferry for the officer behind was loudly shouting at us. Then another officer in front said, "Slow down, why the hurry??!!" Tis time i really couldn't hold back any longer... i rolled down my window and shouted back at him... i told him "the person behind was shouting at us, didn't u hear... so we hurried, and now, u said cannot hurry... need to slow down". For the 3rd time, LABUAN FERRY SUCKS!!!

I don't care whoever will be reading tis, but really i'm telling u all, the ferry service sucks. These are the ppl forever being stuck in small places, thinking their little island is the greatest place on earth. Try take a stroll out of ur little shell.... try looking at the world outside.... I tot Labuan is supposed to be a tourist destination too, but i am really surprised with the attitude u actually get from the ppl there. Talk about being friendly Malaysians.... talked about our culture of being 'berbudi-bahasa' , it was such a shameful thing! Where did tis virtue disappear to? We paid for ur service, and we didn't come all the way from Menumbok for free. And yet we didn't get the seats we were supposed to get onboard, but we tolerated, understanding it was profit and not customer's comfortability they are aiming for. At least, try giving first-timers there better impression of ur place.

We met up wid nb, and besides from bringing us around, he treated all of us to a great dinner at Restaurant Labuan. He actually booked the table 5days ago, knowing tat i'll be bringing my uncle n his family there to Labuan, and he said we all juz go out for a nice meal. He told me again, u need to book early, else there won't be any more tables left when u wan to dine there. Okie... u really haf to get use to the practice, "siapa cepat, dia dapat!" We had a magnificent meal, really paisei cox nb spent so much on us, but most of all was the companion we were getting. All my cousins and even my uncle & auntie enjoyed nb's jokes and laughters. My cousin sister, SiaoTing was busily asking us riddles and telling us jokes all thru our dinner, and nb was really entertaining her! =))

Oh ya, catching up on the things i missed out, tat afternoon, nb brought us to a duty free shop at Financial Park, and wow... the chocs there super cheap... and the beers, super-duper cheap! RM1 for one can, i was like okie.... even cheaper than Coke! Hahaha.... even cheaper than mineral water! Besides tat he oso brought us to the beach behind the Marine Museum. The beach was nice, and very funny cox hubby met a fren while we were strolling there.... and his fren suddenly called out "Hii Siew Hung" while we were walking face to face! Talk about Labuan being small... yes... small, then nb said hubby's fren Desmond, oso mek's fren.... then nb oso met him b4, i was like.... "WAH, Labuan super small!!" =))

So summary about Labuan, it's not such a bad place really... juz tat some ppl really 'lansi'! I rembered wat Piang wrote in her blog about the lady at the hosp giving her attitude, and how she felt no anger at all, til now i still salute her. Piang dearest forever so sweet, and honestly i m so different from her in terms of tempers. Summarize into one sentence, the nice things about Labuan... chocs, beers, beaches & TAN NGEE BANG! Tat's it... full-stop!

Photos of dearest hubby, ahDen & me at Labuan beach!
On Sunday, 1.30pm we board the ferry back to Menumbok. Tis time, smarter liao... went to queue earlier n even bought passenger tickets. ;)) While hubby, aunt & uncle went to get all the tickets, the rest of us went to tapau KFC. Then nb brought us to haf quick lunch at the most well-known chicken rice shop of Labuan, and we were really rushing. Really need to queue so long, but at least the service still okie. Sigh... why everything haf to queue n queue.... if u put KC in Labuan, i think he'll juz rot! =))

When we were back to KK, we rested one nite then the next day around 2.30pm we headed off for Kundasang. Wow... we r going to overnite at Kundasang. Uncle KingChing paid for our chalets at Mount Kinabalu Heritage or formerly Ko-Perkasa Hotel, and the view there was magnificent. Really surrounded by nature, and we had to cross a 'jambatan gantung' (suspension bridge) in order to reach our chalets. It was really cool and so refreshing, breathing in fresh air and you can even see butterflies fluttering around while we sit on the wooden bench on the verandah. Jayden was so amazed when he saw the butterflies... think it's his first time seeing butterfly. Tat nite, it was drizzling and the surrounding plus the chilling nature part, so heavenly. Although cold, but u actually enjoy the coldness. =))

@ the drawbridge leading to our chalets

Halfway to our chalets while carrying all our things up, we sat down n rest n eat buns!
When Jayden was in bed n floated to dreamland, hubby & I sneaked out to enjoy the view outside and the sound of the pitter-patter rain drops. Too bad no hot chocolate then... else really perfect! ;)) Early next morn, 6am+, we could see the clear view of Mount Kinabalu. Hubby said we were really lucky tat day, cox at times the mountain will be covered with clouds and fog and really cannot see at all. But tat morn, the whole mountain was so clear.... juz right in front of us! Wow.... really beautiful. My uncle juz keep on snapping, and snapping and snapping the photos. Hehehe.... til 800pcs+... *salute*

Magnificent view of Mt. KK!
After we checked out, we went to Ranau to haf breakfast and then off to Poring Hot Spring. My 1st time there and ah Den too, and oso uncle & his family. Little Jayden, wanted to get into the big bath tub there.... so my aunt said let him haf fun inside. I took off his long pants, let him dipped inside the water, then he started splashing. So we took off his shirt. Then, he wanted to sit down into the water... sigh.... so my aunt say better juz take off everything, and there goes his diaper and ahDen was naked in the big bath tub! =)) The funny part was when my aunt took off his diaper, he peed into the water. Hahahaha.... so the water, not only mixed with a little sulphur from the hot spring but oso ammonia from ahDen's urine! :p

@ Poring Hot Spring in the big bath tub!
Seeing Jayden enjoying himself so much, really makes me feel so happy during these few days' trip. We stayed awhile there, and then made our way down to KK, stopping at Tuaran around 2.30pm for lunch. Tuaran is famous for its noodle, and yes.... really nice. I wonder if partly bcox i'm hungry... but overall, the noodles really nice! ;)) Tat nite, we went shopping at 1Borneo. Then we tapau Big Apple Donuts, Sushi King & oso Pizza Hut and had a small feast in the family room upstairs. The next morning, only my uncle, auntie & Jason followed hubby out for breakfast and then to buy dried seafood at the market. The rest of us too tired and were still sleeping. Hahaha.... at 1.30pm, there were off to airport to board their plane back to Miri. Poor Jayden, he cried when they all drove off to airport. Sigh... he enjoyed himself too much these few days, now back to normal life liao... and lesser ppl to play wid him. Poor thing... ;))

Overall, we had such a wonderful time these past few days. Hopefully, we can make a trip back to Marudi soon, and i hope ngeebang will follow us back to Marudi too, cox my aunt say she'll introduce girlfren for him! =))

'new york new york'

2008-11-16T14:28:00.004+08:00

Last nite, Saturday nite, we ate out at "New York New York". I was kinda thinking taking our dinner at home, but hubby suggested tat we haf a try at tis new restaurant at 1Borneo. Knowing tat it was weekend nite, and hubby as usual will bring us dine out. I remembered seeing tis shop quite a few times before always on our way out from the carpark, but we never tried dining there. We reached 1Borneo Hypermall around 7+pm, and the place was so big tat we had to look for a directory in order to locate where "New York New York" actually is.

Okie.... looking at the directory on the Gr Floor, past the Centre Atrium and 2 shops down from Starbucks Coffee. There were quite a number of ppl dining there, and the place deco was quite attractive. We wanted to try its Giant Yankee Burger (which is 8-inch wide and 4-inch high), the description printed in the menu but we figured out it'll be kinda HUGE for 2 person. However if we haf piang or nb around, we can order tat of cuz! ;)) But now no Piang & frens here, so cannot order GIANT burger! ;)) ;))

We decided to give it's Hawaii Teriyaki Burger and oso Caesar Chicken Pizza a try. When the burger came, it was really yummy.... nothing like those u get from those fastfood outlets. It's beef patty was fresh and juicy with grilled pineapple on top of the patty. The pizza was okie too, thin crust, but the only setback dining there was Jayden Hii.

Sigh! With him around, u can never eat in peace. He wanted to explore the place, wanted to walk around by himself. I was swallowing and gulping down my food, and in the end i juz feel tat i no longer haf any desire to eat anymore. It was so tiring. He couldn't sit still in the baby chair, and he wanted to climb down. Then he'll turned here and there, smiling and laughing at other customers at the nearby tables, and even wanted to rush over and play wid them! I was so tired, worrying tat he'll fall down if he ventured by himself at a unfamiliar place, as well as worrying tat he'll accidentally damage ppl's property. Sigh! Tis baby... arghhhh.... i feel like i juz wanna lock him up in my room and not bringing him out!

Okie... viewing it from another point of view, he's helping me dieting. Cannot eat in peace, then maybe i'll slim down faster. But really quite torturing lor.... sigh! So next time if wan to eat out, must bring along frens or family tat r wiling to help me babysit, like nb sure no problem. Can be ahDen's godfather liao.... ;))

Foochow MeeSua!!!

2008-11-11T11:54:00.002+08:00

Last nite, after my usual aerobics class, i rushed home to take my shower. Tonite we'll be going over to Daniel's house to celebrate his bday. ;)) The day before, Sunday nite, we went to haf seafood dinner at Welcome Seafood Restaurant in Penampang. They mentioned the seafood price there is reasonable and tasty at the same time. At first we thought tat it was juz a usual dinner together wid frens, but in the end Daniel settled the bill. He said it was his treat tat nite, giving the reason tat it was his bday treat. ;)) His bday will be on the coming Thurs, 13th (same date as sister ahMing's bday), but he wouldn't be free tat nite, so he mentioned to treat us earlier. Then we told him but we din buy cake for the bday daddy... we thought of getting a cake then, and going over to his house to cut his bday cake, but it was nearly 8.30pm and baby Japheth(Daniel's son) was getting sleepy. So we planned to go over to his place on Mon nite then.

Luckily both hubby & I didn't have our dinner before we went over to his house. AhPau & wife bought Daniel a cake, and hubby got him a bottle of red wine. He's a wine lover, so we thought of getting a bottle of red wine to add to his collection! Hubby asked the chef downstairs to prepare some spaghetti bolognese and penne carbonara and we brought the pasta over to enjoy together wid frens. Then Daniel & wife oso prepared Foochow MeeSua for us. Wow.... i was so happy to see Foochow MeeSua, wid Foochow red wine somemore! I had quite a big bowl of meesua, and ahDen too... he was slurping the meesua and the chicken soup and keep on asking for more! The meesua/noodles was exactly like Swak's. So nice.... not like those packets one which u can buy over the shelf in supermarkets, but the original Swak meesua is so much nicer. They told us tat we can buy this Foochow meesua from a chinese drug store in Lido. Okie.... an additional useful info.

As for the Foochow red wine, yummy.... Daniel gave me a bottle to bring back home, cox he said they still haf a few bottles leftover from MeiChing's confinement. ;)) Feeling paisei lor, but feeling very happy too.... i owest wonder how to bring red wine over from Swak! So stupid, cox u can actually get it here if u know where to find. Actually there are quite alot of Foochows in KotaKinabalu too. I tried my meesua wid 'Wincarnis', but then i still prefer the taste of traditional red wine.

AhPau & wife offered to babysit ahDen while hubby & I ate. AhDen had finished eating then, and he was busy playing around so both hubby & I can enjoy our meal in peace. ;)) After dinner, we sang bday song and had a few slices of yummy bday cake. Daniel mixed whisky wid ice cream soda for us, hahaha.... but of cuz not for the 2 pregnant mummies. Then we juz laze around in his living room and chatting. When we got home, i slept like pig last nite. Must be the effect of the whisky, but still i was able to wake up to make milk for ahDen in the middle of the nite. Still feeling so contented over my bowl of chicken soup meesua lor....

HEROES s3 is back!

2008-11-07T11:23:00.003+08:00

Wow! Yes!!! Heroes Season3 is finally here, back with Sylar on the move again, hunting for his next prey. Thursday nite, 10pm at StarWorld, Heroes, one of the most exciting series i've ever watched. Last nite, i was hoping Jayden would go to bed early, so i can enjoy my movie in peace. But sorry to say, no, he was up awake around tat time, and i tot tat it was going to be a one hour show, so we let him played around first.

When the 1st chapter was over, the 2nd one continued... hmm... meaning to say, it was actually a 2hour show. Okie.... we really got to miss part of the movie now, cox jayden really, really needed to go to bed for it was past 11pm! We switched off the tv and pretended to go to sleep, and finally the naughty 'monkey' reluctantly dozed off to sleep. Then we switched on the tv again, and continued watching.... then asking 'Why?! Why? How? How?! Who did tat?! Why??!!' All the question-marks popping up around our heads. Haha... =)) Perhaps tis is wat makes us really attracted to the movie... with all those questions playing in your mind, u r bound to search for an answer. And the answer awaits u, only if u continue watching. ;))

Tis time in Heroes, Sylar is back! The funny thing was he successfully gotten Claire, the cheerleader's, power without killing her. The reason he gave was tat Claire can never dies for she is different from the others. Then??? Why in the very first season everyone went thru all the trouble to save her??!! Remember... "Save the cheerleader, Save the world!". Then... "~DUH!~" ... she can never die, so why the trouble of having to save her? Hmm.... it can be quite conflicting at times. It really got ur brain working, okie... if Sylar had gotten Claire's power back in season1, then tat mean although Peter Petrelli failed to blow up New York City, Sylar could have done so. Hmmm.... perhaps then, it's more logical if u put it tis way.

Last Sunday, Heroes season2 Marathon was on StarWorld. We managed to catch up some of the chapters we missed in season2. And now, with season3 back, there'll be more to look forward to. I was determined to catch up part of the show i missed last nite. Checking for the time for a rerun, it'll be 12pm later. Okie... i'll be ready to tune in to StarWorld. The questions continues... "Why??! Why??? How???!" :-
- 'Why is Niki still alive after being blown up while trying to save Monica??'
- 'Why Peter from the future seems to be the bad guy? What happened to the future?'
- 'Why Angela Petrelli called Sylar(Gabriel Gray) her 'SON'?!?!?!
- 'How come Linderman is not dead? So all these heroes can never die??'

Wow... lots of question marks floating around me now. I still haf more questions in my mind, but am going to pen off... for my show is waiting. Gotta go!

@MOSHPERE

2008-11-02T14:53:00.003+08:00

Wow! Today after church service, we went to a new place for lunch, a very popular place in Kota Kinabalu, n a bit embarassed to say it's our first time there. After church service, we waited awhile for ahPau, Daniel & ahMing to finish their meeting first before we went out for lunch. As usual ahDen was having so much fun at church, trying to venture here & there.

At first Daniel suggested all of us to go and try out a popular fish-head curry at one of the restaurant in Inanam. He was telling us the other day how tasty the fish-head curry was and the type of fish they use to cook tis dish are considered as expensive fish. However, the restaurant was closed today, so then he taught of bringing us to the only revolving restaurant in Borneo, @Mosphere restaurant.

The restaurant is situated at the Yayasan Sabah building on the 18th floor. It is my first time there at the Yayasan Sabah builidng. Once we stepped into the restaurant, immediately u can sensed how different the atmosphere there was. Really classy. No wonder they named it @Mosphere. ;)) It is also one of the famous restaurant for tourists. Then we started to realise tat the floor which we stood on was slightly moving. The view up there was magnificent, looking down at part of the sea with big vessels sailing, white beaches and clear blue sea, and the other side featuring part of KK town and the greeneries. Wow.... immediately we can sensed tat Jayden enjoyed himself there.

Prices of the food was like the place itself, classy... hahaha... meaning expensive. But the set lunch was priced reasonably. So we ordered a set of set lunch and since Daniel said the pasta there is well-known, can be labeled as the best in town, so ordered another plate of salmon penne pesto. For set lunch, we had fruit salad, baked boneless chicken wid potatoes, and finally a plate of yummy dessert together wid a cup of tea. If Piang was there, i'm pretty sure she'll be so satisfied wid the cakes. It is really yummy... not too sweet and a bite of if, makes u desire for a 2nd. ;)) Then the 2nd bite, makes u wanting for a 3rd... and so on.... =)) It was really an enjoyable afternoon, wid frens around dining at a classy and modern place. After lunch it was oledi past 2pm and the 2 babies are damn sleepy. So now, ahDen sleeping like pig in his cradle. Hahaha.... once in awhile, it's worth to enjoy and to pamper urself. Although we spent quite alot on our lunch today, but we all had an wonderful time. And now, time for a nap.

A snapshot of the yummy dessert, specially snapped for Piang to drool!

Photos of ahDen enjoying himself at @mosphere!

Happy Birthday 2 ME!

2008-10-20T13:23:00.016+08:00

19th October 2008 - Today is my 28th birthday. A few days ago when i called ngeebang, i still joked with him tat i was only 27yrs old, and amazingly when i think back, i gave birth to ahDen when i'm only 26yrs old and 1mth after tat, i celebrated my 27th bday. Tis year ahDen juz celebrated his 1yr old bday 1mth ago, so now... today it's finally my 28th birthday. Wow... i feel so old now, haha... but yes, i'm still young at heart tho and am thankful with all tat i am! ;))

Few days ago ahDen fell sick. For the past 3 days, hubby and i didn't get enuf rest. Jayden will cry in the middle of the nite when he couldn't breathe bcox of his blocked nose, and he wants to be craddled rather than juz lying flat on our bed. Sigh! So tiring. Last nite, he seemed to be feeling better, and i tot i could get better rest. However, the same old thing happened, around 3.30am, he cried and cried. In the end, we threw him into his cradle net, and i was there cradling him while trying to catch some sleep at the same time. It really pissed me off, for i was so tired and yet ahDen was making a big fuss. I didn't want to disturb hubby bcox he had to get up early tis morning around 5.30am to pick up workers. So i better let him haf more rest.

I couldn't really sleep cox once i stop rocking ahDen's cradle, he'll start to cry. Sigh... i oso haf no idea when both ahDen and I fell deep into slumber. Around 5.30am, hubby went out. I tot i heard him closing the door, and saw tat he glanced back secretly to look at me before he went out, but i was too tired to pay attention to him. Around 6am, i rolled over to my right side, and i noticed a big box sitting beside me on my bed. My first impression in my mind was, wat was hubby looking for in our cupboard til he had to moved the boxes which i packed nicely inside our cupboard and then left it here on the bed without putting it back in place! Still feeling very tired, i fell back into slumber.

I slept for sometime, then opened my eyes again, and looked at the big box. There seemed to be something strange about tis box... hmm... the size of it, doesn't seem to be any of the boxes which i packed up nicely in our cupboard. Wait... there's something written on it. With my terrible short-sightedness, without my specs, everything is blurred. Still scrutinizing and trying to make out the wordings... finally i managed to read some of the words -> "Great MUM", then i saw some red hearts besides it as well... hahaha... ooh... so i finally realised tat it's my birthday gift from hubby. I was trying to figure out wat i could be, but once again, feeling so tired, i fell back into slumber.

I woke up again when hubby came back. I heard him opening the door, so i got up and point to my gift. He laughed and asked me if i tot he had forgotten my bday. I replied saying i know he didn't forget, juz tat i didn't expect to receive any gifts lor... He asked me to guess wat the gift was before i unwrapped it. I held my big present in my hands and it seems to be quite heavy. I guessed a lot of things, and among my lists, i did managed to get the correct answer. =)) But hubby didn't give me any response but juz asked me to continue unwrapping my gift.

Tis was how my bday gift looked like lying beside me on my bed!

Tis was my unwrapped gift! I asked hubby if he had bought me a new laptop, he replied saying he only asked for the box but the content was not a laptop. Hmm.. I was thinking if anyone wil be wiling to gif such a nice box if u don't buy a laptop from them. So i continue to see wat the content of this big box was and after taking out everything in the box, tis is wat i got!

Hmm... "how come no laptop ger??".... tis was wat i asked hubby. There's an optical mouse, a cleaning kit, and a notebook cooling pad but definately no laptop. Hubby answered, "I oledi told u not to be so happy first, cox my gift is actually tis cooling pad bcox u owest used my laptop for long hours and i think my laptop badly needed a cooling pad!" Hahaha... okie, i admit i really used his notebook like it belongs to me.

Then i think again... looking thru the things inside the box, there was a smaller box containing cables and oso a set of user manual. Hmm... doesn't make sense at all if u don't buy a laptop, they'll gif u the user manual, rite? So finally hubby answered, yes, i got u a new laptop, it's in the room somewhere, u try to find lor. Our room is so small so the only place it can be hidden will be inside the cupboard. I even tot of going inside the toilet to look for it, but no, it wasn't in the toilet. Finally i saw 2 laptop bags on the top shelf when i opened our cupboard. 1 belongs to hubby, so the other one must be my new laptop bag. Yippee!!! A new HP Notebook for my birthday. I was so surprised and started to switch it on. But i couldn't spend more time exploring it bcox we all need to get ready to go to church. Altough it's my bday, it's still a Sunday morning so we ought to go for the Sunday service.

I requested to haf dim-sum for breakfast so we went for Foo Phing DimSum. Had a really full and yummy breakfast. The place was oledi packed when we reached there at 8am. Wow! So early oledi so many ppl out for breakfast! After church service, we went for lunch wid a few church frens at KimFah Restaurant Donggongon. We are all a bunch of small families so normally we all haf lunch together once in awhile. After lunch, it was running real late. When we reached home, Jayden had fall asleep. I didn't wake him up to bathe him, but put him inside his cradle to let him continue sleeping. He must had been really tired.

It was around 1pm and i switched on my new laptop, trying to learn how to use the new Window Vista. Hubby then came into the room, bringing this...

and this...

I was deeply touched. Really very touched. The day before i told hubby tat my mummy will cook Foochow MeeSua wid hard-boiled egg for me on my bday. But tis year, i don't haf chance to taste the 'meesua' she cook. Hubby said when i told him tat the day b4, he had oledi bought packet meesua, mushroom, a packet of herbs to boil chicken soup, and oso fresh chicken from the market. He planned to start boiling the chicken soup in our slowcooker tat nite so i can haf chicken soup 'meesua' on my bday. *sob* *sob*... no wonder he went early downstairs around 10.30pm last nite while preparing to send workers back at 11pm.

Although the chicken soup and also the meesua tasted different from our usual Foochow RedWine chicken soup meesua, it tasted really yummy and sweet. There was even a hard-boiled egg for me, so touched. I really didn't expect hubby to do all tis for me. And my cake, i thought it came in a rather akward box. Then hubby said it's an ice cream cake which he purposely ordered from VedaBlu bcox i told him before tat i never tasted an ice cream cake before. The flavour of the cake was Belgium Choc with Yoghurt Forrestberries, i think and no wonder it needed a polystrene box to hold it.

My 1st ice cream bday cake!

Tonite we must really eat in. Hubby had spent too much for my bday, and i didn't want him to bring me out for expensive dinner. So we ordered Fish & Chips and oso Chicken Chop from the restaurant downstairs and oso we still haf a lot of meesua.

Our simple and yummy dinner!

My bday cake wid the candle lit!

Jayden celebrating mummy's bday!

My 1st bday celebration in KotaKinabalu and my sweet hubby did a lot to make me feel at home. Thanks for luving me so much my dearest hubby, and i really feel so loved.

Dearest hubby and me and cute little Jayden. Look at the way ahDen eyes the cake!

SiSterzzzzzz...

2008-09-16T12:26:00.005+08:00

Wow! Tis morning when i sign in to Facebook, i found tis photo posted by one of my sis. She took tis during ah Den's bday party, and when i saw tis pic, i felt deeply touched. Seems like it'd been such a long time we took photos together dearest sistersssssss! Previously we owest do tat every CNY because tat's the only time for reunion. It's really so hard to haf everyone back in hometown and to take one decent family photo. Honestly the only decent family photo we took was when i was 8yrs old. Tat was 20years back!

Now wid all my siblings growing up, it's kinda hard too for a reunion, cox everyone is somewhere else; either working or studying or having a family (ahem... tis means me!). Dave is in Johor studying, ah Noi in Penang working, and me living in Kota Kinabalu. Now there's only ah Ming, ah Fang and ah Ni back in Kuching. Hmm... but soon my youngest sis ah Ni will be off to uni too, hopefully and may God bless, next year.

Tis time back to Kuching, ah Noi came back from Penang too. It'd been so long since we all last seen her, and of cuz wid all the sisters back, the camera never rested. I love to look at photos, but at times i am super lazy to bring it out wid me and even lazier to press the shutter down to take photos! Okie... to share our sisters photos 2008 version... TA DA!

6th Sept 2008 at The Banquet during ah Den's 1st Bday celebration.

All in tat order, from left to right - i mean (from the oldest to the youngest but of cuz only sisters cox my brother wasn't back in Kuching then! Moreover, i said SISTER photo... not SIBLING photo... haha) Now ah Ming and I are moms, we'd both expanded so much horizontally... but nevermind dearest ah Ming "che-che", we can owest diet and exercise and stay healthy. Hopefully the next sisters photo we take, we both can be "leng ma ma"! ;))

and this is our sisters photo shud be 2004 version... why i said shud be? It's because i kinda lost track of time when tis photo was actually taken. Kinda funny to look back at this photo now... haha... how much we'd all changed! Okie... hopefully in years to come, we'll owest haf chance to snap more photos together... and of cuz wid our beloved, dearest, 'wei-da' MUMMY and not forgetting our dearest brother too!

ReminisCence

2008-08-08T10:30:00.004+08:00

Last nite i chatted wid yunnyi thru YM. Tis morning when i recalled back our conversation, it gave me a warmth feeling in my heart. We talked about hiewming, karhooi n seelee; about our old days back in uni and about our lives now. I really miss those gals a lotsss...
We had some laughters thinking back some funny things tat happened back in those old days. Uni days was so far back in our lives, but it will forever leave some precious memories to us. Back in those days, how all of us had owest struggle to get to class on time, not because we couldn't wake up, but because of transportation. I remembered how we owest need to plan ahead how we can get to our 'so far-a-way' faculty, situated on top of a hill. Comp Science faculty in UM really is located at a so faraway n isolated place. Sigh...

I still remembered how karhooi had walked to faculty thru the Intan Gate when she got no transport in the 1st year. I still remembered seeing her walking past my hostel Kolej Kediaman Ke-11 one sunny morning, while listening to music on her discman. It'd owest troubled me a lot when i haf to walk tat far in order to reach my fac to attend my course. Honestly I was deeply impressed with her determination. Tat time, we were still quite new, and i hadn't really known karhooi tat well.

Then there is yunnyi. Although yunnyi oso has no transport, but at least she's slightly better. She can hitchhike her housemate's motorbike whenever the courses were not of our major. But tat was too only for the first year. All the comp science students will attend a few courses together, despite our major. But of cuz when the time didn't match, she too had to think of her own ways to go to class n to get back home. Somemore she was staying outside campus, in Seksyen 17.

Hiewming previously stayed in Kolej Kediaman Ke-4 if not mistaken. And in her first year too, she need to walk to fac by herself... but hiewming, KK4 really is not too faraway from Comp Sc. Fac. Last but not least, the most fortunate among us is Seelee. She stayed in KK-10 which was juz opposite Comp Sc. Fac. Sigh.... those were the days back in our first year, when we had OWEST struggled to get to class. The buses system in UM back then was really terrible.... can never expect to depend on the buses. Tat was why so many UM students had their own transport last time.

As the first years passed, slowly our lives turned out to be better. Ppl say, even the toughest days will be over one day... juz hang on! Slowly karhooi, hiewming & yunnyi had their own transport to class. So eventually, my life turned out to be easier too. When i had to move out of campus and starts to live in Seksyen 17; they'll owest came over to 303 to pick me up to attend class. Oh yes, there was Szehau too who owest offered to pick me up or send me home whenever i had no transport. Of cuz there were certain time when no one could pick me up, i'll catch a bus to the bus stop outside uni, and walked all the way to faculty. It was still bearable bcox it was only once in awhile.

Maybe tat was how our bond as frens became stronger thru the years. Even after we graduated, we still keep in touch and til today, though we are so faraway from one another, we are still close. I miss you all alot... yunnyi made a joke last nite about how hiewming insisted to kill all the ants in her house before coming to pick us. With hiewming, slowly u'll get used to her persistence and 'principles'... and oso u'll get used to her 'punctuality'! =)) But tat is hiewming...
Karhooi, like myself is a mother now. But she's a much more successful carreer woman than i am.... n oso so much thinner and in shape than i am. Karhooi had owest been tall n slender, no matter how many meals i skipped, i'll never be like her... in shape! haha =))
Yunnyi le... my very first fren in UM. How i met her spontaneously during our registration process bek in KK-11. Til today, we still share quite similar thoughts at time, and oso our quite 'xiao jie' (feminine) attitude. Whenever i need a fren to turn to, no doubt she'll listen and provide u helpful advice. *HUGS*
Finally, there is Seelee. She is the least like us, she doesn't like to shop, doesn't like to 'pan leng leng'; if from tis aspect she is really very different. But she likes to sing and eat juz like the rest of us. =)) We'll go karaoke or steamboat together... and wid her, there'll owest be fun and laughter too. Kenix Chiang Yunnyi... do u still rem the time in our cafeteria when u wanted to kill a mosquito resting on seelee's arm n caused her to splash her drink onto her own face??!!??!! Seelee still said luckily it was only plain water n not teh tarik! =)) =)) =)) Even now when i'm typing out this, i couldn't hold back my laughters any longer.

Really miss u gals alot.... I feel so much happier now, although previously i'd have some burdens in my heart. I'm starting to chase back my life, which i felt as if I'd left behind purposely because of certain reason. I know i can be a survivor too... and when i start to find back my passion in things i like to do, I'm slowly coming back.
Gals... i miss u all alot alot alot. When there's a suitable time, I'll go KL n we can all haf a simple reunion okie. Luv u all!

Old Fren's Visits

2008-07-28T10:28:00.003+08:00

Last 2 weeks had been quite fruitful to me. ;)) Had some dear old frens coming over to visit me here in KK. On the 16th July (Thurs), Hiewming and SeeLee came from KL. It'd been so long i hadn't seen them. Too bad Yunnyi couldn't make it the last minute. I hadn't seen them since my wedding, and as for Karhooi it'd been even longer tat i din see her. Hiewming & Seelee plan to climb Mt. Kinabalu on the coming Sat, and they'll be up to KK Park the following day. So on the day they arrived, I brought them to 1Borneo. The hypermall wasn't ready the last time they were here in KK, I braced myself and drove them in hubby's Ninja King there. Hmm... i'd been driving his big white 4x4 lately, but still i hadn't mastered his skills of perfect parking. Tat afternoon, hubby volunteered to baby sit ah Den while i take my frens out to shop at the big, big mall.

These dear frens of mine brought some gifts over from KL especially for ah Den. I told ah Yi tat i was looking for a kid's cap for ah Den. It was quite hard to find one, and to most of the baby stores i went, they don't seems to sell cap for kids. At Poppies The Spring, they did sell fisher hats, but no caps. I came to realise tat ah Den look extremely cute when wearing a cap.

Gifts from ah Den's pretty "da jie-jie"!

Back a few weeks ago, my cheeky sis had playfully placed a cap on ah Den's head when we were shopping at ColdStorage, Kuching and he looked really handsome. Haha... =)) So tat gaf me an idea to buy him a cap if i happen to find one. But it was quite hard to hunt for one here... i really couldn't find any at most of the shops i went to. Thanks so much to my bunch of best pals from KL who bought ah Den not only the cap, but some really nice boy-boy shirts and pants. Seelee and Hiewming said not to call them "ah-yee" (aunts in mandarin), but to call them "jie-jie"(sister in mandarin). When i told Yunnyi tat, she exclaimed where got such old "jie-jie" so she prefer to be called as "ah yee" instead by ah Den. =)) I couldn't help but keep on laughing... hmm... okie lar... i'll teach ah Den to call them big "jie-jie" instead. Tat's sounds quite nice to me! So how gals??? "jie-jie" or "da jie-jie" or "ah yee"????

Hiewming and Seelee went off to KK Park on Fri. They'll only be coming back to KK town on Sunday evening. On Saturday noon, it was ngeebang's turn to come n visit me. I was so happy tat he'll be here for the weekend, and i know tat he was very happy too. It'd been quite some time since we last had the opportunity to spend some time together and with ngeebang around, there'll owest be lots of hilarous jokes and plenty of laughters. Since ah Den's "ah Bang chek" (ah chek means uncle in hokkien) will be coming from his so-called "tu tu shua" (223), i'd asked him to help me to get some chocolates.

There are more varieties and oso the price are much cheaper there. I planned to wrap up some small gifts to give to guests on ah Den's 1yr old birthday. So i better start buying all the candies i need. The chocolates 'ah Bang chek' brought from 223 are really so special n so super-nice! Thanks so much to uncle nb for ur help, and ah Den really seems to get closer to nb during his stay here. When it was his nap time, he juz didn't want to sleep but instead keep on playing wid nb. Sigh... my boy is really getting naughtier & naughtier! On Sat nite, we went to 1Borneo again. We ate a lotsss.... we went to Sushi King, bought Big Apple Donuts and for supper, we had satays and chicken wings. Nb commented tat he was like "kebuluran from Labuan"! Haha... On Sunday noon, it was time for him to go bek to 223. Time really seems to fly whenever u r having a good time, and yes... nb seems to be a bit reluctant having to go bek to 223, maybe tat's why he left his Kose skincare & TheFaceShop Hair Coating Essence here so tat he can come bek to get them again SOON! ;))

Sunday nite Hiewming & Seelee came bek from their mount climbing. These gals are really great. I really doubt if i can make it to the top of mt. Kinabalu, and hiewming even more 'keng'! She'll go rafting the very next day! =>D Seelee stayed wid me on Monday while Hiewming went rafting. Tat nite, we went for seafood dinner, and on Tuesday i din really bring them anywhere. We went to have the famous Penampang Fish Noodles for breakfast, then for teatime we brought them to try the famous "Damai Roti Kahwin". The bread although juz very simple 'roti kahwin' were really tasty. U never get tired from eating these soft & fresh bread. Then we drove around town and went to the observatory tower somewhere at town. (It was my first time there... so paiseh... after so long being in KK :p)

For dinner, we ate at Casuarina Hotel and after tat we went to watch sunset at Tanjung Aru beach. But too bad it was very cloudy tat evening and we couldn't see any beautiful sunset but we had a good time at the beach, though really very short time. We snapped some photos together, and after tat I sent them to the airport. Til we meet again next time... and i hope the next time, all of us including Yunnyi and Karhooi, will be able to meet up! *HUGS*!

Chocs and mini wafers uncle ngeebang helped to buy from Labuan. All so so nice lar!

17/07/08: Finally a snapshot of my baby wid his new Poney 92 cap!

goodbye grandma

2008-04-03T17:33:00.002+08:00

Today is the 3rd of April. Yesterday, 2nd April 2008, grandma had passed away. I was talking on the fon wid mum around noon time, and she was telling me how serious grandma’s condition was then. It’d happened quite a few times lately when they thought grandma couldn’t make it anymore. At times she’ll be unconscious, or half unconscious and mumbling about the dead ones and how soon she’ll be seeing them. Just 3 months ago, my 3rd uncle or ‘3 jiu-jiu’ had passed away. And now… it’s grandma’s turn. When there was an incoming call while I was talking to mum on the fon, i juz had an unexplainable feeling and I urged my mum to answer the call immediately, and I’ll call her back later. Was it perfect timing, bcoz mum was at the part where she was telling me how bad grandma’s condition was and then there was an incoming call.

Mum actually called to let me ‘face her music’… (her scoldings!). On Mon, I’d carelessly let ah den fell off the bed. I remembered placing him in the middle of the bed at one end, and gave him his water bottle before I went off to prepare his porridge. I admit I had my back to him all the while, which was a really silly thing to do, and I was assuming he wouldn’t be rolling tat fast. The next instance there was a thud on the carpeted floor, and there he was lying on his side and looking shockingly at me. Then he wailed out loudly. Sigh… my mistake… he can really roll over very fast now! So now we are all sleeping on mattresses, and no more bed!

When mum called yesterday, I knew she would most probably nagged me cox I’d told sis about ah den’s 2nd fall and I guessed she’s had let mum know. When mum called me back after our interrupted conversation, she told me tat grandma’s gone. My thought was blank. She’d been suffering for so long, so perhaps it was the best for her. How short life seems to be, and how fragile it is. You never know what’s going to happen tomorrow.

In life, there will always be some things that will forever remind us of the ppl around us, no matter how little or how meaningless it can be for others. Piang was telling me the other day how much she missed the moments when we went to beach together, and ngeebang was saying he wants to go for “wo mei cui” session wid me when I’m back in kuching. =)) Those were some of the moments I missed so much too! I juz want to let them all know tat I always, always miss them very much. Wat are the little things I meant tat’ll owest remind me of someone… it’s like when
(a) u see a sheep/goat/lamb or even when u eat lamb chops, u’ll think of Mek Mek.
(b) u eat Tong Garden Honey Peanuts, u’ll think of Cassandra.
(c) u haf chocolate/cheese cakes or Hello Panda biscuits, u’ll think of Piang.
(d) u drink Brand’s Chicken Essence, u’ll think of Peishan.
(e) u see beer, u’ll think of Kiang.
(f) u come across Coca Cola can, u’ll think of Ngeebang.
(g) u think of oat, u’ll think of Hiewming.
(h) u play cracked pc games, u’ll think of Yunnyi.
and soooo much more…

Cheers!

cookies in a glass jar

2008-03-18T00:22:00.003+08:00

It must be a pretty surprising title for my post. It's past 12am, and i'd actually gone to bed but couldn't sleep because too much was playing on my mind. I know i shud be getting some sleep whilst Jayden is asleep, cox he'll most probably wake up in another hour or two for his 'nite supper'!

I was thinking of one of my dream. I guess no one had ever had such a silly dream as me, but i always haf tis cute thought in my mind. If i am ever going to own a place of my own, a home i mean, i would want to haf a glass jar which contains Chipsmore cookies! I'd place this glass jar in my kitchen and whenever anyone wants a cookie or two, they can unscrew it's lid and put their hand into the big glass jar and chomp on a chocolate cookie!

=)) I dunno why i always haf tis picture in my mind, and lately it had became quite addictive. I keep on picturing Chipsmore in a glass jar sitting on a shelf in my kitchen. Sigh!! But i don't haf a kitchen yet.

Another thing i wish to haf if i am ever gonna own a house one day and a kitchen big enuf would be an island in my dry kitchen. I told my sis tat day if my kitchen is spacious enuf, i'd want an island build there, with a black granite top! My sis commented tat an island in the middle of the kitchen is really 'chor teng' (in the way) and why would u ever want to place such a 'white elephant' there? For me, I'd picture myself making salads and sandwiches on top of the island. Once in a while i can roll out some 'maki' there, or even prepare and mix the batter for my cake! I am wide awake now, but yet i'm still dreaming.

I guess i shud be getting into bed now. Ppl owest say think as if you are to leave this world tomorrow, and u would do all the things you hope never to regret tat u hadn't done and even say those words u had been holding back before it's too late. If i am to leave this world the very next day, I'd bring wid me one of my greatest regret in my life... not because i couldn't achieve my dream of having a glass jar full of chocolate cookies in my own kitchen, but of the words tat i haf yet to say!

2008-03-07T14:05:00.002+08:00

it's a rainy Friday afternoon. It hardly rain here in Tanjung Aru Kota Kinabalu, probably because it's near to the beach, and normally places nearer to the beach are always scorching. However, it rain most of the afternoon here lately. Maybe it's the rainy season here... ??? i'm not sure. Jayden is asleep in his cradle. He's 6months old today. How fast time seems to zoom by and how much everyone had been thru. Finally my baby had learnt how to roll over. Seeing him trying his best to roll himself over was kinda funny. He was a bit wobbly at first, but juz a few days for him to practice this motor skill and he had mastered it quite fine now.

looking at the rain falling outside my glass window, there's alot playing in my mind. sometimes i wonder if i'm too protective over my baby, or is it juz my nature being over-cautious and hard to trust others. A few days ago we went to a coffeeshop near here and the owner of the coffeeshop had a baby gal who is one month older than Jayden. He asked me if i'm taking care of jayden by myself, and i answered him "yes.. i had been taking care of him since his birth til now." It's kinda funny cox almost everywhere i go tat is among one of the common question ppl would ask me. Well, he said his wife and him had no choice but to send their baby over to a nanny's place, and sometimes they would even leave her there to overnite wid her nanny.

For me, tat totally seems like an absolutely hard thing to do. I have no idea how i'll be able to part wid my baby. I'll miss him like crazy if i dont get to see him even for one hour. I know the problem lies within me, and it's still a hurdle tat i'm yet to jump over. Friends and even strangers often comment tat i'm really capable to be able to look after my baby myself. =) A friend told me tat she couldn't even bear to look after her baby for one whole day, and she'd send her son over to her mum early every morning before she part for work. Before i have jayden, it had never cross my mind tat i'll be able to take care of my own baby. I always pictured tat i'll leave my baby under a nanny's care and i'll still haf time to work or do things i like. How ironic it seems to be tat now i can't even bear to part wid my bb. It's funny how everything eventually turn out to be....
am i really being over-protective?

cny eve

2008-02-07T15:18:00.000+08:00

6th Feb 2008 1330hrs - CNY is really just around the corner. Today is the last day of the Golden Pig in the Lunar calendar. This morning we had breakfast together wid my mum, sisters, bro n bro-in-law and my niece Esther. I felt so good being home, around my family. I guess I really miss my mum a lot. She was so happy when she saw Jayden… and oso it’s my 3rd sis first time to see Jayden.

This year is going to be the first CNY I spend over at my in-laws place and oso my first CNY wid Jayden around. When we brought him home to Kuching tat nite (4th Feb), thank goodness he only cried for a short while on the plane cox he was too sleepy and after tat he fell asleep. When he reached our old bedroom, he was all smiling and busy making ‘goo goo- gaa gaa’ sound for more than half an hour… non-stop! I guessed he was too excited being in this familiar room, or maybe he missed his old bedroom as much as I miss home!

Today is 6th Feb, and we will bring Jayden over to Jawa Clinic later for his jab. His injection was scheduled on today, and I really hope he’ll be okie tomorrow, though he might haf fever after the jab. Hopefully the paracetamol syrup wil be able to control his fever. This year CNY holds a different feeling over me. Perhaps it’s the feeling of family reunion tat really matters to me more than any other thing. I really felt I had grown up so much now wid my bb around. When I saw my mum, I really feel tat I miss her soooo much. Being a mummy myself now I finally understand the hardship raising a child and I truly understand the worries my mum owest carry in her heart when she raised all of us.
Looking at my younger sisters also, I can see tat they had all blossomed finely into young ladies. When my youngest sis reminded me tat she was almost 20yrs old tis morning, it kinda made me feel tat I’m even older now. I felt funny bcox she is still forever my little sis in my eyes.

I had so much to talk to mum. I discussed wid her tis morning about wat me and SH wanted to buy for my grandma (my mum’s mother). Grandma’s health had worsen so much in this year, and to make matter worse for her, my 3rd uncle (‘jiu-jiu’) had just passed away last month. It was so tragic for all of us. When my sis sms-ed me, I still couldn’t believe my eyes while I read her msg. Condition had owest been not so well for my mum’s family in Bau. Whenever we visit them every year, we’ll bring food and other goodies for them. They really need money, and with my grandma’s condition, every month they’ll need to spend extra for her medical bills. Now my 3rd ‘jiu-jiu’ had passed away, the burden of the family wil definitely be increased for the rest of my uncles.

Grandma hadn’t seen Jayden since he was born. She’s weak and frail now, and I had wanted to bring Jayden over to meet her for a long time but time is always not right for us. Hopefully this CNY I can bring Jayden over to meet my grandma, and I hope she will cheer up when she sees us. I still remember her crying when we went over to see her last year, and she kept on telling me she dunno if she can still see us again this year.
Being a parent myself now, I truly understand how important it is to be filial to our parents and elders. All the pain a mummy will had to go thru when giving birth and oso when bringing us up. All this is not easy.

Maybe I had really changed a lot, or maybe I had really grown up. The feeling of being home is really great and I feel very fortunate for everything tat I have. Perhaps others will find me haggard from the way I look now, always messy and carrying a bb around, or maybe it’ll be harder for me to be joining old frens for tea or supper out late at nite, but I truly feel myself lucky for everything tat I haf… my family and all the ones I luv. The feeling of love is deep down in our hearts, and maybe I am not good at showing it, or maybe there are those tat feel I’d forgotten about them. I just want to let those special ones know tat I always do care and luv them still. Happy Chinese New Year to all of u…

Jayden's Fall

2008-01-11T15:45:00.000+08:00

Part 1 -------------------------------------

It was on 9th October, only 2 days after Jayden’s ‘full month’ ( better known as ‘mua guek’ in Hokkien). On the 7th, we had hold a small party at home, invited relatives and close friends, celebrating bb’s full month. At tat time, I didn’t bring Jayden downstairs to meet all the ppl, though a lot of ppl would like to see him. It was because he keeps on crying and making big fuss every nite. According to old ppl, he’s scared and shudn’t be seeing tat much ppl cox it’ll make him worse. But I know tat my bb was just having colic.

All thru my confinement, I hadn’t really rest well. I couldn’t sleep almost every nite. I would awaken at the slightest sound I heard, assuming it’s my bb crying. Though I feel exhausted, after all tat I’ve been thru, I juz feel tat my responsibilities had increased wid the birth of my bb, and I simply couldn’t allow myself to rest.

I had bad mood swings, sometimes I feel perfectly fine, and sometimes I feel very scared and sad. I cried most of the times; though secretly. I really couldn’t control myself. I’d been over sensitive, and I feared tat no one will attend to the bb when he cries at nite. At the start of my confinement, I was still on medication. (Prednisolone for my rashes; Labetalol for my hypertension; Paracetamol for pain/mild fever) My need to take all tis medicine everyday make me feel even worse. I was afraid to breastfeed, assuming all tis drug wil affect my bb especially the medication for my allergy.

Why I couldn’t sleep at nite, fearing tat no one will attend to my bb when he cries at nite, and why I would wake even at the slightest sound I heard, was all because I did not trust my confinement lady. On the 1st nite she arrived, I’d saw her fallen asleep while feeding Jayden. She was lying down on the mattress and placed bb in her arms, and sticking the feeding bottle rite into his mouth and Jayden was half asleep and half sucking the milk from the bottle. I fear so much tat my bb will choke as he was only 3days old then. I woke her up, telling her not to feed my bb tat way but at tat very moment I know although I placed the care of my bb in the hands of another person, I must be alert enuf to monitor if tat person is doing it the rite way.

I was exhausted bcos of all my deprived sleep. I should be resting but instead I couldn’t. So I tend to sleep more daytime as I’m sure wid my family members around, my confinement lady wil be more hardworking. It is Foochow customs to take 7meals per day during the confinement period. Whenever my food was served to me, I couldn’t eat much bcos I was too tired. My lack of rest and oso lack of appetite made my mum-in-law complained about me. She told my hubby tat I wasn’t eating enuf and I shud be eating more. But most of the time I’d rather sleep, for I know once again when night time falls, I’d had to be my bb’s guardian angel again and to look over him.

I told my mum about my sleep problem and tat I couldn’t rest at nite as I worry too much. I got scolded by her cox she was worry about my health (hypertension) and oso the fear tat I’ll get depression. I know everyone around me was very worried about me. My sis tried to make me understand tat even at times the confinement lady wil be too tired bcox of all the works she’d had to do daytime, and yet look after the bb at nite. Sincerely I didn’t blame her at all for her negligence then, bcox I understand wat my sis told me was true. I told her tat she can cook very simple dishes for me during daytime, and my priority would be to take good care of Jayden. Honestly, I’d rather starve than to have Jayden’s safety harmed. It was then tat they made me to sleep in the next room at nite, so I could be well-rested.

It was useless. Even in the next room, I’d pay even more attention to any noise tat’d sound like my bb crying. Sometimes Jayden would be crying for quite sometime before the confinement lady would attend to him. I told SH about my fears, and I really do not trust the confinement lady to take k of Jayden. During the 1st week, since I couldn’t do much, she seems to be a hardworking lady. Everyone was satisfied. When I started to heal slowly and had learnt how to feed Jayden n change his dirty diapers, the confinement lady starts to be lazier. At times when we are alone, she’d purposely not attend to bb until I do. Since I’m bb’s mother, of cuz I couldn’t bear to not attend to his needs when he started crying. This is my weakness, and the smart lady had learnt how to manipulate me.

Part 2 -------------------------------------

My confinement period was like hell. I started being depressed and cry most of the time and owest complaining to SH. Since I was still in my confinement period, I really couldn’t bend over too much while changing bb’s dirty diapers. It made my backbone ache, and though they told me to rest, they do not understand my difficulties. At times I felt tat my confinement lady just purposely neglect changing bb’s dirty diapers (bb does ‘poo-poo’ n ‘she-she’ a lot during the 1st month), and Jayden owest cry like hell whenever he’s wet n dirty, so I must do it myself. In tat way, how am I suppose to get enuf rest?

It was a relief when the 1month period is almost over. However, I started to worry if I’ll be able to take care of Jayden by myself. I know tat SH wil need to go back to work in KK as he had accompanied me for quite a long time oledi during bb’s 1st month. My hardest task was to bathe Jayden. I’d never bathe such a small bb before, and to me, he seems to be so fragile. No matter what, I told myself tat I must learn.

Everyone said tat after bb’s 1st month, it’ll be easier to manage him. As I think Jayden must be having colic then, he owest cry whenever evening falls. Sometimes he’ll cry for such a long time for no reason at all. It must be there’s ‘wind’ in his tummy. We tried all the methods we heard of, even traditional method.

On the 2nd day after Jayden’s ‘full month’, as usual he was making a lot of fuss again. SH was supposed to go bek to KK tat day, and before he left, he decided to bring Jayden to see chinese physician, to prescribe some medicine for him. We brought him out around 2pm. When we brought him back home, he seems to be uncomfortable again. So hubby told the confinement lady (who’ll be leaving the very next day) to boil an egg and use it to rub from bb’s head to toe. It’s a traditional method which will reduce the ‘wind’ and miraculously, it owest does help to soothe Jayden.

After everything was done, I went downstairs to have my tea. Like I say, I was supposed to have 7meals per day. Since I didn’t want to trouble the confinement lady to cook anything for me, I juz ate some toasts. While I was eating, I heard the confinement lady cooking sth in the kitchen. I tot tat she was preparing dinner for me, but turned out tat she was frying some onions n ginger. Then she rushed upstairs again with the stuff she cooked b4 I had time to ask her wat’s she doing. She was rubbing those stuff all over Jayden, and when she brought Jayden downstairs, he was all oily and smells like he had been covered with ginger and onions. I questioned hubby wat happened, and he said the ‘smart’ lady had once again used her own traditional method to ‘cure’ Jayden without discussing it wid us beforehand. Sigh… well, in my mind, if it’s sth tat’ll help to soothe Jayden, then she’s oso doing it for the sake of bb. Jayden seems to be sleeping soundly then, so she placed him in the baby cot in the living room.

When I saw tat he was sleeping soundly in the cot, I went back into the dining room to clean up. As I was putting away the toaster, I heard a loud thud, and then Jayden started wailing. I rushed out of the dining room into the living room and saw my bb on the floor, beneath the cradle. My heart dropped, and I stood there frozen. For a while, my mind was blank. Wat had happened? I started screaming and crying and asked who put him in the cradle. Wasn’t he asleep soundly in his baby cot when I left him? I rushed over and snatched him away from the confinement lady.

As I looked down at Jayden, he really terrified me. He had stopped crying. His eyes were wide opened, staring ahead blankly. He was looking so pale and white. (Jayden had owest been reddish and a bit dark since he was born) I just held on to him, not knowing wat to do. I was calling out to him hoping tat he’ll start to cry again but he remained silent. My confinement lady then took Jayden away from me and starting calling his name and hitting on the floor where he fell. I was too stunned, I just stood affix there. SH rushed over to his sister’s house and soon my sis-in-law was there. She asked wat happened, and with her sound mind, she insisted to bring bb to hospital immediately.

I carried my bb and rushed into the car. It was 5pm then, and traffic jam had started. SH drove wid the double signal light on and I just hope we get to Kuching Specialist fast. Jayden was then sleeping in my arms. There was a big swelling bump now on his left head. As I looked down on him, I started to weep again in the car. “Oh God! Why had this happened? Why my baby?” He was as white as sheet, and I feared tat he’ll leave me just like tat.

Part 3 -------------------------------------

The cradle!

Why had she placed bb in the cradle when it wasn’t ready yet. The day before SH had assembled the cradle. However, we hadn’t bought a suitable cradle net yet, and my in-law had suggested us to use a ‘kain sarong’ instead. I remembered when we were kids, and there wasn’t anything such as a cradle net yet then, my mum had owest used a ‘kain sarong’ too. So, I hung a piece of my own sarong on the cradle hook, but the sarong wasn’t suitable. It was way too short so the cradle was very high. Even the thought of it worries me now. So SH and I decided to buy a cradle net later tat evening, maybe when he’s on the way to the airport.

In the next living room, there was a piece of new mattress there. SH had brought it down a few days ago, and we had placed bb on the mattress there when we were playing wid him in tat living room. Tat piece of mattress was supposed to be placed under bb’s cradle when we rock him in there. It was a thought I had in mind, and reminded myself to remember to place the mattress beneath the cradle when we had bought the cradle net. But all this were too late…. no one had expected the confinement lady would had placed him in there without checking out on the cradle beforehand, and without any safety measure such as placing the mattress beneath the cradle. All these are regrets……..

My thoughts went back to the moment when I just conceived. I wasn’t prepared then, and the thoughts of me having a bb and all the pain I’ll haf to go through during pregnancy & childbirth, had made me doubted the decision to be a mother. I still went for my modern class back then, and had even practiced hard for an upcoming dance performance. I was prancing and jumping around then, since I hadn’t known tat I was pregnant then, and besides for being nauseatic when I was really tired, I was fine. If he had survived back then, please dear Father in Heaven, please do not take him away from me now, after all that I’d been thru… Is this my punishment? If it is, it shud be taken out on me, not my baby. If anything happen to him, I’ll feel myself snap.

Part 4 -------------------------------------

Finally we reached A&E Unit of Kuching Specialist Hospital. The pediatrician was in the operation theatre at tat time for another caesarian birth. However, the doc n nurses on duty tat time were fast n efficient. They monitored Jayden’s blood pressure n oso his breathing, then checked his body for other bruises and bumps. Then they asked me to carry him while waiting for the doc to arrive. When Dr.Lim K.T (KPJ Pediatrician) arrived, he still remembered me. He asked me wat happened, and inspecting the big swell on Jayden’s head, he said they’ll need to do an x-ray on his head to confirm if there’s any fracture. He mentioned tat it was a very high fall for such a small baby, n they just hope there won’t be any skull fracture.

I carried Jayden in my arms and went into the X-Ray Room. SH and the rest of our relatives had to wait outside. The lady in charged asked me to put on a very heavy robe (looks like the type of bulletproof jacket we see on tv, except tat it’s longer) and to hold Jayden’s head firmly while she took his x-ray. After tat, I was asked to wait as the lady needs to check if the x-ray taken was clear enough. At tat time, I was shivering… not sure if it was because I was feeling cold or too nervous. Jayden starts to wail again. He must be hungry then. SH came into the X-Ray when he heard Jayden wailing. The lady came in again to tell us tat she need to take another x-ray shot as the first ones aren’t clear enough. Jayden must had been moving his head around when the films were taken. This time it was SH’s turn to hold bb’s head. I guess he was worried about my health too.

This time the x-ray films turned out to be okie. Doc forbids us to feed Jayden because they r afraid tat it might make him throw up. They were supposed to monitor if he had any fittings or if he vomits, because these are serious signs to show tat his brain is injured.

Part 5 -------------------------------------

This statement made me think back of the days when I was 9yrs old. Tat time dad had brought my eldest sis and me to a Shell-organized Telematch. Dad wasn’t supposed to join in the race bcox he wasn’t feeling well, but when his name was announced over the speakers for him to be one of the participants, my outgoing dad had decided to participate. As mum had told him not to join in any sports when we went out tat day, I tugged on daddy’s hand and told him about wat mum had said earlier on. Dad turned around and told me tat it was alrite, assuring me tat he’ll be back soon. He gave me his car keys and ran out towards the race tracks. In tat game, they were all running backwards.

When the piston was fired, everyone ran real fast. Daddy was ahead of others, and suddenly when he almost reached the finishing line, he fell down. I thought it wasn’t serious at all, and soon he’ll get up again to continue running. But everyone started to gather around daddy. More and more ppl started to come. Sis and I ran towards daddy to see wat all the great big fuss was about. When I saw my dad lying on the ground, I still remember seeing all the foams coming out from his mouth n nose. Back then I really do not know wat was happening.

Only today did I realized tat dad was having a fit back then. On tat very day, tat very incident changed my whole life. Daddy had injured his brain badly from the fall. He was in a coma for more than a month, and everyone tot he would not have survived. When he finally woke up one day after lying on the bed in the hospital for weeks, he never recovered completely again. He didn’t recognize us anymore; not his wife nor his children, and he was bedridden for the rest of his life. 13yrs… tat was how long daddy had been bedridden. Everything tat a 3year old could do, dad couldn’t. Why hadn’t I held on to daddy’s hand and not let him join in the race back then?

Part 6 -------------------------------------

From that day onwards, I realized how serious brain injury can be. Now this had happened to my bb, I really don’t know wat to expect. I sat down on the nearby bench as the doctors were inspecting Jayden’s x-ray film. Please Lord, I prayed… please let all this be over soon, and we could all go home. By the look on their faces (the doctors, hubby and sis-in-laws), I knew things wasn’t going on fine. I braced myself and went over to listen to wat the doctors were saying. When I saw the x-ray film placed on the lighted panel, I saw an opening on Jayden’s skull. His skull had cracked from the fall, and the opening was quite big for a little bb. The next step was to do a CT scan, to see if his brain is injured. If his brain isn’t injured, then doc say we need not worry but juz to let the fractured skull heal by itself thru time. I was blank and I didn’t know wat to think. I held on to bb, and still he was looking so pale. Many thoughts ran thru my head, I juz gazed down at bb blankly.

This time SH said he’ll bring bb in for the CT scan. All this radioactive rays on a 32day-old bb – I was really reluctant. But all I could think of was to follow doc’s advice. Everyone was worried tat I’ll collapse. Since I shud still be in my confinement period (44 days to be exact), I still wasn’t strong enuf physically. Doc said Jayden was being a good boy when the CT scan was performed. He didn’t cry but instead had fallen into slumber. He must have been too tired from all his crying. Moreover, he must be starving. When the films from the scan were inspected, doc confirmed tat there was blood clot in Jayden’s brain. He needs to be hospitalized, and his condition monitored for 24hrs.If he doesn’t show any symptoms such as vomiting, fever, or fitting; then they can presume tat he’ll be fine.

Tat nite, SH and I accompanied bb Jayden in the hospital. I daren’t call to tell my mum wat had happened. I know tis will terrify her. So I called sis, told her wat had happened; and asked her to let mum know calmly. I was afraid I might burst into tears over the fon when talking to my mum, or I might sound too worried to let her think otherwise. All nite long, Jayden keeps on crying. His head must had hurt badly, and when he’s too tired after crying, he’ll fall asleep. His voice sounded sore from all his crying, and it really broke my heart. We cradled him in our arms when he was crying, soothed him and sang lullaby to him. We keep on singing the song ‘Jesus Loves Me’ to him and it seems to help to soothe him once in awhile.

Part 7 -------------------------------------

In my heart, I greatly regretted all that had happened. I felt tat I owed so much to my little baby and had put his life in great danger. The loud thud I heard when he fell was still ringing in my ears. It had owest been a mother’s responsibility to protect their babies. I had failed to do so. Deep in my heart, I questioned my own negligence. Had I bothered to place the mattress, which lies just a few feet away from the place Jayden fell, he wouldn’t be lying there on the bed in the hospital with a big swell on his head. At tat moment, I truly feel tat it’s so hard to trust others with the safety of my own child.

Now Jayden is fine, growing bigger and stronger everyday. After his fall, we’d consulted all the best neurosurgeons we could find in Kuching. Their concern were the same, tat was to let him heal by himself. The blood clot will disappear thru time and the fracture will heal too. All tat we hope is tat he’ll grow up fine like every other babies. Too much x-rays and CT scans will not be good for his health as well, cox it will destroy his growing brain cells. No one can ever predict wat will happen tomorrow. Through God’s grace, Jayden had survived tis mishap. For the days to come, may my bb grow up fine and healthy.

May God bless owest…….

"on de Day my bb was born"

2007-12-16T19:30:00.000+08:00

Part I *********************************************

It was Friday, 7th of September, and i was on my way to my mum's place when my hubby called. I was supposed to go for another checkup on the following day, and i haven't realised that it was a public holiday. Since i had noticed a drop in the number of kicks my bb made recently, i decided i should not wait over the weekend for my weekly checkup.
Mum needed my to accompany her to settle some of her stuffs tat morn, so i decided to go over to see the gynae later in the evening. Both my legs were badly swollen by then, and as a matter of fact, it had started to hurt when i drive. Though my tummy were so big then, I still drove myself over to see my gynae tat day. In my mind it was juz another checkup and it'll be over very soon.

Around 3+pm, i went over to Dr. Ng's clinic. After the normal urine test, i was required to do another urine test. Doc told me tat there was sign of albumin (protein) in my first urine test, and i had to do another test to confirm the result. In my mind, it juz seems so harmless cox i do not know of the consequences. After the 2nd test, it was confirmed of the albumin existence in my urine and the reading was quite high. I had no idea of the scale they used, but i remembered she told me tat it was '3+' and it was not a good sign. After that she took my blood pressure, and surprisingly my bp tat day was higher than normal exceeding 150. My bp had been normal all the while and it had never occured to me tat i'm having hypertension, and i'm feeling perfectly fine without any dizziness.

Doc told me tat i'm suffering from a condition called 'pre-eclampsia'. Well, since the term is juz another medical term for me, i had no idea how serious it can actually be. She told me i had to be admitted to hospital at tat moment on emergency basis, and i should give birth ASAP. I wasn't prepared for all this, hubby is still in KK and will only be reaching tat nite. Somemore, there are still a lot of stuffs tat i hadn't gotten for bb, myself, and so many food i'd like to consume b4 my confinement started (tho there weren't much choices left for me since i'd been diagnosed with gestational diabetes), and oso i hadn't gotten the stuffs i need to bring to hosp ready cox the luggage bag was way up above the cupboard and i had no one to get it down for me!
I tried to negotiate wid the doc, telling her tat i want to wait 4 my hubby to come back b4 i give birth. She told me tat i must deliver tat very day, either thru induced-labour or caesarean-section. The sound of c-sec really scares me and i wanted natural birth so badly, but it seems to be impossible now. No matter wat, doc told me i MUST be admitted to hospital now, and i shouldn't delay the process anymore because if not, i might go into fitting and worse, be in coma.

Part II *********************************************

All the while i was really feeling perfectly fine, so to me it really doesn't seems like an emergency. Around 6.30pm, i was admitted to KPJ (Kuching Specialist Hosp). After the registration process, i was given a bed and de standard patient clothing. I felt so funny wearing the robe cox i really do not feel sick at all. The nurses there took my blood pressure again and oso did another urine test for me. I had told Dr. Ng tat hubby will be reaching around 9pm tat nite, and i'll only decide whether to give birth or not after he arrives. Around 7+pm, the nurses there informed me tat Dr. Ng wanted to speak to me. She told me tat my condition had worsen, and my bp had climbed again compared to afternoon, and my urine still show traces of albumin. She advised me not to wait for my hubby anymore and i must be induced right then. Even if after i'm being induced, i might need to wait for several hours (min 4-6hrs) before the drug take effect, and signs of contractions might begin, and my cervix might dilate.

I still hesitated, and the doc insisted me to do it. She keep on telling me tat i might go into fitting. Finally i agreed to be induced. Doc told me tat the nurses there will insert the drug for me. If my cervix will dilate after drug was inserted, then i can give birth naturally. If not, they'll haf to operate me. :((
Seems like hell when the nurse inserted the drug into me... sigh... i really hope i can deliver naturally. After the drug was inserted, i had to lie on bed for 2hrs without moving around. The nurses there took my bp every half an hour. I lie there looking at the clock in front of me, and glanced at the blurred tv once in a while. After 2hrs had passed, i still felt no contraction. After 9pm, Dr. Ng came to the ward to see me. She measured my bp again, and seems like my bp is reaching 170 now. She asked if my husband had arrived, and she need to speak to him immediately. SH had juz got off the plane then, and rushed over to the hosp.

When hubby arrived, doc told him of my condition, and said i must not wait even to be induced anymore. She needs to operate me then as my bp seems to rocket every hour and it was for my own safety. I was blurred and really reluctant to be operated. SH told me to go for c-sec, and not to think too much anymore. They brought me some papers to sign, and hubby told me to listen and agree to watever the doc has to say.

Part III *********************************************

Doc say i need to be put on drip first and a sample of my blood will be sent to lab for test, and we need to wait for the result to come back b4 they can start the operation. Then the nightmare began... my blood was taken, the nurses inserted a tube into my uretra (it really HURTS... *_*"), my swollen hand was poke so tat i could be on drip. It hurts terribly especially since my hand had oledi swell so much, when the needle was poked thru my skin, it made my hand swell even more. Besides glucose, there was another pack of drug. The nurse told me tat it's to control my bp.
Around 11pm, my blood test result came back. The doc in charge for performing the anesthetic process came to speak to me. He advised me to choose to be totally unconscious during the operation since it'll be easier to monitor my bp. I guessed it's best for me, since i will be totally unaware of the whole process.

Then i was transfered to another bed. The process of transfering me made me felt even more nervous. I felt as if i was attached to so many things; the drip, my packet of urine, and i was really scared if the nurses might accidentally pull any of the tubes on me! After tat i was wheeled out from Room307 Bed A towards the OT. I felt so ackward... since i had taken off my specs, all i can really see was the row of white lights all the way down the hall to the OT. My mum, sis, hubby were accompanying me. I was really very nervous but i keep on telling myself tat i'll see my bb really soon. For the time being tat seems to be the only thing tat can comfort my fears.

When they reach the doors of the OT, the nurses told my family members tat they can proceed no longer and can only be waiting out there for me. They wheeled me in and again transfered me to another bed. This time they slipped a piece of steel board underneath my whole body and then carried me at the count off 3, to transfer me to another bed. It felt so cold that my teeth had started to clatter... i guess the air-cond, plus the steel bed, plus my nervousness really made me so, so, so cold. I was shaking so badly til i was unable to control my jaws from shaking too. "Oh God! When will all this be over?"
As they wheeled me into another room, the lights was even more blinding. Guess i'm lucky tat i haf short-sighted, and without my specs, i really couldn't figure out how the room was like. If not, i would haf felt even more nervous. I juz knew there were a lot of ppl in the room. Once again they transfered me to another bed. The whole process was really quick, and they start to hang up my arms and legs. I felt like an animal tat was about to be operated! As i turned my head towards my left, i saw a small figure all dressed up in a blue-coloured robe. Tat seems to be my gynae. Then the doc in charge of the anesthetic procedure was talking to me. I remembered he was trying to make me feel less nervous, and told me tat the OT was really very cold. I guessed from the way my whole body was shaking, anyone definately know tat i was feeling really COLD. The figure dressed in blue robe on my left was starting to walk towards me, and it was Dr. Ng. She was telling me to relax. They put a mask to my face and i was told to take deep breath. One.... Two... Three... i started to pass out.....

Part IV *********************************************

When i opened my eyes again, i saw my hubby in front of me. I asked him wat time it was, and felt tat i was kinda hard to speak. It was past 1.30am, and i noticed tat there was a tube attached to my nose. I glanced down at my tummy and it seems to haf deflated a little, though it still seems to be quite big. SH was telling me how brave i had been, and tat bb was safe and sound asleep in the next room. I questioned him about the tube from my nose, and he told me tat it was supplying oxygen. When they wheeled me out of the OT, he said i was having difficulty breathing and I seem to be wanting to throw up and making loud gasps. I totally had no idea as i was still unconscious then. The docs said it might be because of the anesthetic effect, so tat's why they put the oxygen tube to my nose. I felt really tired, and closed my eyes again to rest.

I can say those 2 days at the hospital really seems like eternal. My mind was blurred and i couldn't seem to remember things correctly when i was there. Perhaps it was the effect of all the drugs. All i could remembered was the pain after the painkiller was gone. Not only did i felt as if i had been cut open, i felt as if all my organs were being misplaced. For the first nite, i couldn't really rest well. I started to haf mild fever because the needle for the drip on my hand was really hurting me so badly. My hands were so swollen tat it doesn't even look like my own hand. (In fact my whole person was swelling so badly!) The nurses keep on coming in to give me injection on my thighs. They said it's to prevent blood clot.
I felt much better after i can be off from the drip. I didn't feel hungry at all, but my lips were very dry. When i had to swallow down the painkillers, i finally had to start to drink and tat's when it start to develop another kind of pain within me. I felt as if each trickle of water down my intestines was pinching the inside of my stomach. I could hardly move, so i couldn't squirm myself to take my pain away like i always do. I can only close my eyes and wish all the pain away. I really wonder why it starts to hurt tat way. When i consult the doc the next day, i was told tat my uterus was shrinking and sometimes tat process will hurt. To be frank, i really thought tat they had messed around wid my intestines! (if KC reads tis, i'm sure he'll laugh like hell!)

On the 2nd nite, i started to develop a funny kind of rashes all over my body. When hubby first saw it on my neck, i assumed it was only heat rash. Then when the nurses saw it, they checked my whole body only to find tat other parts of my body was also covered wid the funny looking cresent-like red spots. They start to ask me if i'm allergic to any medication, and i really had no idea. I told them towards the last 2 months of my pregnancy, i had developed all kinds of rashes so i really had no idea if it's skin allergy. The next morning they informed my doc, and Dr. Ng said she'll be calling in the skin specialist. It was Sun morning, and darn... i'm sure there'll be some additional charges.

When they called in a Dr. Lim, he was surveying my rashes and seemed to be so excited. He said he had never seen anything like tat before, (as if i'm some alien from Mars)... i still remembered him telling me "It's very interesting. I had never seen anything like this before. Do u mind if i call my colleague in to take a look at tis? He might be able to explain." So in come another Dr. Pubalan (my sis said he's a very good skin doctor) and said a sample of my blood shud be taken immediately as he suspect i might haf SLE (a disease tat normally attack young women and only discovered when the immune system is low - tat's wat the doc told me). I had no idea wat SLE is, but my sis said it's very serious. From the expression of their faces, i started to feel as if i might be warded even longer, and i really wan to go home! And i really DO NOT WANT to take any blood test anymore. All thru my pregnancy, my blood had been taken for tis purpose, tat purpose... and now tat i had finally delivered, they tell me they need to take my blood again! Oh God... when will all this suffering ends! I'm starting to hate needles so much... when will they stop pricking me wid all those needles!!!! ARGHHHHH................ tears start to well in my eyes.

Part V *********************************************

Another worry in my mind was the medical cost. Dr. Ng told me tat if i can get down from bed and go to toilet and pee after the urine bag was removed, then i can go home. The medical fees at KPJ for natural birth is RM2k+. The budget i had in mind originally was tat amount, but now i had to set my budget even higher. C-sec was normally charged around RM5k+ at KPJ, and the difference of RM3k, i could haf used tat amount to buy a lot of stuffs for my bb... or even consider stem cell storage. And now i'm using additional drugs to control my bp and all those injections, i'm sure they'll charge me even more. I asked my hubby to go and checked the medical fees. When he returned, the amount really made me jump. It was far beyond from wat we had budgeted... RM7k+! I told myself tat i must be discharged tat very day. Who knows one more nite might cost us how much.

The nurses told me i should start to exercise my limbs. At first i start to roll my body to my sides. The big bandage plaster on my stomach made my movement a bit difficult, but it also made me feel safer for i assumed tat it'll help to hold my 'opened tummy' together. I forced myself to sit up in my bed. The feeling of blood gushing to the lower part of my body made me swallowed my saliva, holding back the fainting feeling of pain. I told my hubby and sisters to help me to get down from my bed and to practice walking. As i got my feet of the bed to touch the ground, i start to feel the terrible pain from the wound. I told myself i must bear wid the pain... and i must start walking to the next room to see my baby. I start to stand up.... i felt the coldness of the floor creeping through my socks. The pain was too painful for me to bear but i told them to help to carry me a little, i must take a few steps forward. I could hardly lift my legs, i only pushed both my feet forward alternately, to make myself move forward.
Three steps forward and i start to feel faint. All my blood seems to flow from my face and head towards my feet, and the buzzing sound in my ears start to grow stronger. I couldn't hear the voices of my sisters and hubby. I'm fainting.... and they dragged me back to my bed for me to lie down. I was deaf and couldn't hear wat they was telling me, i could only see their mouth moving.
I had tried my very best, but i could only make 3 steps... not even to the next room to see my bb. ='(

Part VI *********************************************

Whatever it takes, i told myself tat i must be discharged tat very day. The fear of fainting again and oso the pang of pain, made me feel doubtful of my strong will. I rested again in order to regain my energy. Thinking back i hadn't really been eating since the pack of glucose had been removed. Not only did i had no appetite to eat, but the pain i'm feeling in the inside of me just made me feel tat i wanted to sleep in order to forget about it.

Hubby and sis all told me to eat sth so tat i'll haf the strength to get up from bed. I started to chomp on some crackers and drank hot milo and rested. I really feel so helpless. Somewhere around 1pm, i made myself get up again. I sat on my bed and put my legs down, nearly touching the ground, for a while. By tat time, my sisters had gone home. I wan to practice to walk again, and i really need to go to the bathroom. Hubby rang the bell to get some assistance from the nurses there, and together wid their help, i finally reached the bathroom. When i saw myself in the mirror, i couldn't recognise myself. My face was as white as sheet, i really had no idea i can be so pale and yet so swollen. Even looking at myself scares me. I guess i must haf lost a lot of blood. My once pinkish cheeks were gone. When i got my blood test report, my blood count was oledi below the average level before the operation. After the operation, it'd dropped by half again. No wonder i felt so weak. I had lost so much blood!

Tat Sunday afternoon, around 3.30pm, i was discharged. Luckily they wheeled me with a wheel chair down to the carpark. I really couldn't take tat many steps. All i wanted to do was to lie down in bed and rest, and hope the wound will heal soon. On the way home, even when the car pass by slightly uneven roads, my wound hurts terribly. I felt my tummy being so wobbly, and the wound feels like parting open. When i reached home, the worst part was to climb the stairs to my bedroom. Hubby was there slowly urging me on, going up the stairs. I took slow and very small steps. Feels like heaven when i finally get to rest on my own bed. This is the place i'll be for the following weeks during my confinement period. I'd better start getting use.

Tat nite, things were not going on so fine. The confinement lady hadn't arrived yet, and i really had no idea how to look after a baby. When Jayden cries, i feel myself so useless because i really couldn't get up to help. The wound was hurting me so bad, and with every effort of getting up from the bed, it made my wound hurts. Luckily SH was there, and before i had learnt how to change bb's dirty diapers, feed him, carry him; the daddy had oledi mastered all the skills. I couldn't even carry my own bb back then. I juz hope i'll be strong enuf soon...

"A snapshot of baby Jayden an hour after his birth."

roses are red!

2007-03-23T16:07:00.000+08:00

It'd been really, really long since i posted sth here. A lot had been happening in my life lately, and i juz couldn't find the appropriate time to do some of my updates here. My life had been really hectic before this, with my wedding rush and also the CNY rush... only now everything seems to be back to its normal pace.

20th January 2007 - This is the date where the verse "roses are red" really came to life. This is my bouquet of "99 red roses". It wasn't easy trying to get so many red roses, as valentine's day was nearing then, he really went all the way to get the roses for me. He told himself that once he'd accumulated 99 roses, he'll fly all the way back and propose. To every florist shop he went, none can give him tat much red roses as it exceeded the normal stock that they haf daily, since flowers don't last long. Finally, he drove all the way up to Mt. KK and made stops along the way and bought all the red roses he could get his hands on. He bought more than 160 roses, estimating some will be spoilt when he bring them home.

On the 20th, it happened to fall on a public holiday. Most florist shops in town were closed. He went out early and waited for the shops to open, and finally found a shop tat was still opened for business that day. But all the gals in the shop said only one gal in the shop had the skill to wrap up such a big bouquet of roses. If she agrees to do it, only then they can help him. If not, they'll haf to say sorry. He begged her to do it for him, and at last she agreed to help him though they were really busy tat day.

... "This is of course the first time in my life that i'd received so many roses... 99 roses to resemble everlasting love. The truth is the flowers doesn't matter at all. I'm not a bubbleheaded gal who'll be thrilled with a few stalks of flowers or sweet talk. I guess in a gal's life what is the most important thing is how much and how far a guy is wiling to go for her.... sacrifices he is wiling to make for you. For a guy who carries the importance of himself ahead of you, how far will you be wiling to go for him?

Lots of things in life will never happen for a second time. If you let it slipped, you just might never be able to catch it again!"

=)

2007-01-18T11:49:00.000+08:00

Last Tuesday nite, i finally got my share of money from my participation in PowerMoves last year. I was soooo happy, because the money came about the right time since CNY is juz around the corner, and there's a lot of extra expenses tat i'll need to spend on, such as not only in getting new clothes for myself, but oso for my youngest sis & perhaps my bro n mummy as well, then need to give ang pow to mummy n buy some of the goodies for my family. Somemore i still need to pay for the airfare tickets which we'd bought since AirAsia is giving out free tickets, n we only need to pay for the airport taxes, so sis & I had decided to bring mum for a short trip to KK in May. At least it's a trip tat i can afford to bring her along, since i can save up on transportation and maybe accomodation too.
The money tat i'd got from Ah Ma was enough to pay for my air tickets to KL and Bangkok. =) Not only was i proud of myself, but i am oso feeling contented for being able to settle the airtickets without using my savings. Hooray! The money was sort of 'hard-earned' money, tat's why when i got it, i felt really happy! =)

Last nite we did another performance for KFC Annual Dinner. The theme was 'The Last Samurai' and everyone dressed up in their japanese attire. The dinner was held at Riverside Sarawak Chamber, and for the first time in my life i actually saw a dinner held in Swak Chamber wid all the guests sitting down on the floor, on floor mat, wid the dining table positioned juz a little above the ground. It was supposed to be japanese style, so the hall had been decorated to make everyone feel as if they are in Japan. =) Another exciting experience for myself. However i really pitied the waiters & waitresses for having to kneel down when they need to refill guest's drinks and when they carried out the dishes. I tot of taking some snapshots of the hall before the event started but wasn't able to find the time to. Hopefully i can get some exciting snapshots to be shared here in my blogs from the others soon!

WELCOME 2007

2007-01-04T23:26:00.000+08:00

Another new year... wow, how fast time flies! Sometimes at the pace everything's going, i really feel i haf such little time left. hiewming, thanx for keep on 'tuning' in to my blog! ah Yi called me tat day to ask me about sth, and she said u commented tat i must be pretty busy lately cox i hadn't updated my blog for quite some time. U r partly right... i am busy, but other than tat i was quite lazy too. There are some new features in blogger... hmm... i still need some more time to find out about it!

Xmas 2006 i was in Kota Kinabalu. i had a nice holiday there, had plenty of good food to eat and plenty of rest. Went on shopping spree, and my 'tauke' paid for everything. He said this year he wont be able to accompany me to get my new year clothes, so i better buy it first when he's around. I really feel like i din shop for such a long time, and everything seems to be just wat i wanted to get for myself! Siewhung said sth tat made me feel so touched, if i say tis in front of nb, for sure he'll say i try to 'tipu' siewhung again. ;))
The truth is i really feel bad if he spend too much on me. I know how it's owest so difficult to buy stuffs for urself and when it comes to the things u wanted, u'll really think it over whether it's worth ur money. But then when u r getting it for others, u just spend without thinking. His reply was if he knows i'll look good if i get to dress up n if he was to think of not wasting his money in buying me clothes n accessories, he'll feel bad.

oh ya, the xmas tree in Casuarina was beautiful. He decorated it all by himself. I owest love xmas tree... and when i went over, i got 2 more rolls of ribbon for the tree. The red & gold ribbons around the tree, made it looked so fabulous. Somemore with all those red ornament balls around it, the colour was a great match.
On top of the tree was 2 golden bells. If it's really my tree, i'll put an angel on top of the tree. It made me think of the story i used to read when i was young, where the toys or decos on the tree will owest fight in order to be on top of the tree. ;)) At nite when everyone is asleep, the toys will come to life. It'll be their world then, and they will depend on themselves to climb to a better position on the tree. Is tat how the decos on trees owest seems to be in different places one day or another?
Such a fairytale....

Here are some photos tat i'll like to share. We went to Kundasang.
It's the farm for all the Desa milking cows. The cows are really black & white in colour, juz like the ones we used to read in storybooks or watched in cartoons. They are so cute, and they are real! It felt as if u r really in NewZealand.

The photos of the delicacies tat i had managed to take. I really ate a lot... these are not even til half of wat i actually had there. I love the fish head bihun, and finally i got to taste the fish noodles.... the noodles are being made out of fresh fish meat. This time in KK, i finally get to taste the 'tung fung' clams. I think i still prefer elephant trunk clams better... though they are all great for a seafood lover like myself!

hiewming, i hope u'll find wat i had to share here interesting. i miss all of u lo.... n i wanna see how big is karhooi's tummy now! take k!

Finally a snapshot of me in Kundasang! Looks like i'm in NZ!

we r one family!

2006-12-18T16:54:00.000+08:00

I wanna do this for a long, long time. I wanna add my bear bear collection into my blog. These are part of my collection, n i din get the whole bear family to snap the family photo cox some are up on the cupboard, wrapped in plastic wrappers n the wrappers were full of dust!
Hopefully next time i'll be hardworking enuf to group all my pals in for the BIG FAMILY PHOTO taking session!

Following is a pic of the wedding bear! My fave forever friends bear!

my siblings!

2006-12-04T15:21:00.000+08:00

It'd been quite sometime since my house is this packed again. Lately bro & sisters are all back from uni, with all of us grown up now, sometimes it really seems like my good ol' house is getting much & much smaller to accomodate all of us now. Imagine when we were younger, we used to run here & there playing inside the house, and the house is forever noisy.. be it with happy laughters or angry voices when we quarreled!

With bro & the twins away in uni, and wid big sis married now, the house do seems to be quite peaceful at times. Sometimes mum even commented tat it was hard to prepare meal for juz 3 persons (youngest sis, mum & me)! ;))
Tho the house is kinda packed now, it does feel good having them all back for holidays. We were back to our noisy & crazy laughters days. This is wat happened when u haf too many sisters at home.... we would pry on wat new clothing or accesories each other got, share tales about their uni life, and oso sharing ridiculous jokes and bombard the house with our hysterical laughters. =)
Actually all my sisters (not include bro) had infectious laughters, we owest laugh so hard at even the tiniest jokes!

Last Fri nite, i made konnyaku. Had promised mum tat i'll make konnyaku when i'm free, and wid a lot of ppl in the house now, it's juz the perfect timing to be making small treats for them. Sat afternoon, it was 'sushi making session' for my family. Hee... we had lots of fun, trying to teach my sisters how to roll nice sushi... and wat ingredients to prepare for. After sushi making, we had 'durian eating' session! But tat'll haf to exclude bro, cox he doesn't like durians! *_* "'

Tat nite, we went out for a family dinner at RH Plaza. Told mum tat it was my treat, as i'm earning my own dime now, and i rarely had the chance to treat all of them together. As long as everyone is happy and having a good time together, i don mind. Little Esther went for dinner as well, and tis little baby really like to eat rice a lot. Even before the meal was being served, she was saying her usual "mum-mum-mum" slogan repeatedly, and begging pitifully wid teary eyes for sth to eat! Another 'tham chiak' gal!!! ;))

Tho i'm owest being known as the bad-tempered sis and domineering sis at home, i know they love me very much.... and i luv u all very much too! It's a gift given by God for us to be siblings, and all the hardships we had gone thru together from young til now, reminding us tat we need to cherish our time together even more when we are still able to do so!

durian feast #2

2006-11-29T16:35:00.000+08:00

23rd Nov 2006 ~ Thurs nite, and we had a small gathering at mek's place for a promised durian feast no.2 . Tonite was fun.... earlier on i had went to piang's house to pick her and we went shopping at Choice Daily for sushi ingredient. We had planned to haf a sushi making session at her house the coming Sat, so we need to shop for the ingredients first.

After tat at around 9pm, nb came to pick me & piang to go over to mek's place. Her daddy had purposely went to HuiSing to buy durians for kiang. Tho it's juz the start of durians season, n the durians r more expensive, mek's daddy still insist on buying the durians for kiang, since he's back in town. ;))
kiang, u must be very very touched by our sincerity lo. As for nb, tho he doesn't eat durians, he purposely go 'tapau' KFC for himself. hee.... he said we got durians to eat, so he eat KFC. But mek mek oso ask her bf to go ta pau 'sio-bee' and 'ang tau peng' for nb lo.... mek mek is forever so sweet!

The durians tat nite were nice. Look at the size of the durians! So big! The size of a palm.... i din get to eat tat. I wonder who did? Was it nice???? If really tat big, n taste nice n wid tiny durian seed, ONE will be enuf for me! WAH!!! yummy....
^^ too bad peishan wasn't around tat nite. peishan, we miss u lo! tat nite piang miss u like crazy, n she sez she feel like wanna hug u tightly if she sees u lo!

dance Fiesta 2006

2006-11-21T08:21:00.000+08:00

18th Nov 2006 ~ Last Saturday nite we had another performance. It was for an event called Dance Fiesta 2006, held at Merdeka Palace, Kuching. The song we used was 'NSync - Dirty Pop'. The event was very grand, with a lot of different groups performing their dance which includes belly dancing, hip hop, and etc. All the gals really dressed up themselves, and everyone looked so elegant...

Everything went fine during our performance... well, not really tat fine. Somewhere thru the ending part of the song, the CD suddenly skipped, and a part of the song was totally lost. Luckily for some real fast reflex from the rest, we managed to response to the unexpected and unavoidable mistake, and still performed til the end. Phew! Though we din managed to stage out wat we had initially practiced for, at least the whole performance wasn't being ruined because of either the faulty CD or PA system.

What we wore tat nite!

We had a lot of fun after tat snapping group photos in one of the rooms tat had been rented out for us to change and to wait for our turn on stage. We posed lotsssssss of silly poses, and laughed so much.... i hope the room was sound-proofed, cox we definately were VERY noisy! haha :)~

Weekend!

2006-11-10T21:30:00.000+08:00

It's Friday again, and this week is nearly over. Weekend is coming again... yippee! How time flies! Lately i owest look forward to weekend, because then it's time again to hiaw wid piang. hahaha...

Last weekend was quite a packed one. I had fun, and my weekend was fully used. Wat did I do last weekend???
Summary:-

Sat ~ 4th Nov 2006

Went wid frens to Saberkas Ground Flr. to watch performance by de 2 kuchingites who had previously emerged as stars from de program 'Project Superstar (Msia) 2005'. There were quite a number of celebrities there tat nite; there's Gary from 8TV, Ray from the "Ho Chiak" tv show, and of cuz not forgeting Superstar Ah John, as well as runner-up Vincent. Project Superstar 2006 will start the very next day, and they were hoping more will go for the audition at Harbour View the next day...

8pm ~ We planned for BBQ tat nite at Ah Ma's house. It's oledi 8pm, and most of us are fainting wid hunger and yet we cant start eating first, cox we need to wait for VIPsssssss..... =(
since it's a potluck dinner cum BBQ, we did prepared some food tat nite. Some brought satays, curry, 'popia', sushi, pizza, 'agar-agar',... wat a feast! i made konnyaku!!!

Chatting around, "gossiping", with the kepos from PowerMoves... hahahaaa... oops... It was an after meal chat, since we were too free, nothing much we can do. We were playing around, joking, practice our singing & vocal, practice our acting skills or practicing 'exaggerated' facial expressions, as well as practicing our sense of humours! ;>
These are the "super-hiaw" frens, tat are experts in posing. Once there is a camera shutter pointing at us, "~POOF~" there will be an automatic pose from everyone. "TA-DA!!"

Sun ~ 5th Nov 2006

Came back home late the nite before, and after my bath it was oledi almost 0230am. Tot i could catch a few more hours of sleep on Sun morn, but nb called early morning, asking me to join the rest for breakfast. I was blur when i answered the fon, not quite understand wat he wanted... haha... i guess nb was too happy coming back from KL, and i know he misses us terribly.
I tot of not joining them for breakfast at first, but since he had successfully disturbed my sleep, i couldn't get back to sleep. So i called back and told him to come n pick me for breakfast too. Went wid the rest to 4th Mile Expert, and i guess everyone can see how lack of sleep i was!
Tat afternoon we went to Star Cineplex for movie. We planned to watch de cartoon "Flushed Away". After we bought the tickets, there were still a few minutes left before the movie. So we walked around Star. Tot of singing a few songs first at the K-Box but it was terribly packed. =(
we saw a really cute hat, and tat hiaw nb tried it on, right in front of the salesgirl. Actually i wanted to try it on too, but don't haf as much guts as he does.

Say MIAW!!!

So "KAWAII!"... miaw miaw.. piang, u wan to adopt tis cute kitten or not??? FOC!

Another exciting scene tat i managed to snap. Atok at the gaming arcade... she was good! nb tried to play too.. but it only took him a few seconds before he ended up losing. Atok was so aggresive.... haha.... but must admit she's really good!

i've got new pillow!

2006-10-26T11:25:00.000+08:00

kc, nb & piang came back from Kota Kinabalu last nite. They are really great! they managed to reach the peak of Mt.KK.... something tat will definately be so tough for me. But i'm really proud of ah Piang... wid her condition, she still can reach the peak. She must haf very strong determination in herself! Well done, Piang! Hooray!!!

nb came over to my place after midnite last nite to pass me my new pillow. Knowing tat he had brought the wrong pillow back the last time, siewhung purposely went to buy another Akemi Gingko pillow for me. This time is the correct one... wid the gingko leaves smell on the new pillow. nb said he actually planned to give it to me today, so tat he can use the pillow last nite.... arghh... i don wan my pillow to haf 'tuko' smell boh.... hee....

He really wanted me to have tat pillow, hoping tat it can help to cure my frequent migraines & headaches. So sweet of him, but need to trouble the others to bring such a big gift back for me. KC, nb told me u got 'curi-curi' hug my pillow ar.....
anyway, thanks to all my piggies frens for the trouble, and i'm glad that u all had a wonderful time! How i wished i could had been there!

my birthday 2006

2006-10-19T12:35:00.000+08:00

Today is my birthday... how old am i??? 18 forever... wahahaha
Well, though my birthday is today, I'd oledi been celebrating it for the past 2 days. Feel very grateful and really thanks to all my frens around me who luv me so much, as well as those frens who are faraway who tot of me. I really feel special, getting so much attention from everyone. Even when i went to bed last nite, past midnite, i was beaming to myself on my bed. Hee.... so silly!

Birthday Celebration Part 1

17th Oct, Tues ~ As usual i went for my dancing class at PowerMoves tonite. Wah... it was extremely tired, since i think we had been lagging behind, and not really put tat much effort in dancing lately. But tonite was different... everyone was so serious, and the class seems to be packed & lively since we haf 2 newcomers to join us tonite. Though i was really tired, I was glad tat i really exercised cox seldom sweat lately. renhao mentioned tat chikeng is really a good dance choreographer, cox she really pinpoint all the mistakes tat we made, and intend to 'catch' either our extra or lack of movements. Yes, I really admit tat she's good. After class, we had a little bday celebration... my bday celebration, to be more precise... hee.... and they sang me the bday songsssss, i cut the cake & we enjoyed our yummy cheese cake!

I think it shud be New York cheese cake... thank you dearest AH MA for ur effort and oso to all my dearest frens from PowerMoves, and thank you Ah Hian for ur bday wish tat sez "kuai gao zhang da"... haha... if really still can grow, well... i can grow a little taller lo, but i don wan to "zhang da" anymore lo.... i'm oledi very big-sized liao wor... heee... still "zhang da" somemore will be 'giant' lo among u guys!!!

18th Oct, Wed ~ Tonite mum & sis to bring me out for dinner. They wanna treat me for my bday. Actually they wanted to bring me out on 19th nite, but i told them i wont be free. So we all agreed on 18th nite. They asked me to pick a place for dinner, and i suggested the 'chao chu' (fry & cook) at RH Plaza, Old Siang Siang. Went there quite a few times wid frens b4, and it the price of the food was very reasonably priced. Didn't want to make a hole out of mum & sis's pockets, so i really juz wanted sth cheap for dinner as well as a get together wid my family. Actually eating out hadn't been a common practice in my family since young, and only lately when there are lesser family members at home, it'd been easier to find a suitable time for everyone to gather together and to eat outside. =)

Dinner was great, very reasonably priced and wid very satisfactory portion. We had 5 persons at the dinner table, and though we ordered meal portion for 4 persons, it was still quite a lot.

KC is back in Kuching tonite.... and we had all made plans of meeting up cum to celebrate my bday. Piang keep on saying tat she'll buy the 'mickey heads' (sounded like mice heads), and we went to the Taiwan Fried Chicken shop at Green Road for supper. Hee... they bought all the tartlets for me.. which are all so cute, and they sang me bday songs. Had a fun time hanging out wid the normal gang. Mek, nb, piang & KC... thanks for all ur effort, and HUGS... luv u all so much!

I got quite a few 'sms'es from those far from kuching, but still carry me in their hearts. Thanks for remembering & for minding to call. HUGZ.... it really made me feel special, and luv. Thanks emmy for ur wishes. Ur sms owest haf tat kind of 'magic' over my spirit!!!

19th Oct, Thurs ~ BIRTHDAY MORN!!! Woke up smelling some really nice aroma from the kitchen... wat can tat be??? Went downstairs to check it out, and found mum purposely cooking Foochow Mee Sua wid Red Wine for me! She even made hard-boiled eggs for me. Wah... i'm really happy! Thanks so much dearest mummy! Mum said she cooked the mee sua & eggs for breakfast, because i wont be having dinner at home tonite. Mummy is the best! =))
She reminded me to better not 'snail' tis morn, n to get dressed up earlier so i can enjoy my mee sua slowly. Haha.... i did! I rushed to take my bath, dressed up and am ready at 7.20am. I din know i can be tat fast if i really wanted to! Hehe...

Then at work, i received yunnyi's call. I was wondering in bed last nite why hadn't the gals called me. They owest do when it's my bday, and wid them having the heart to call me all the way from peninsular, it really mean a lot. Chatted quite a while on the fon wid yunnyi, and she said hiewming said she'll call me last nite to wish me happy birthday if she had managed to stay awake til midnite. Then tat mean hiewming had fallen asleep... haha... n i asked yi, how about urself le? u oso din call me at midnite, n she replied she too had fallen asleep. haha...
u know wat, i think all of us are getting a bit old liao lo... i don mean age. It's like we intend to get tired so easily, then be forgetful. szehau was even funnier, he was de first to greet me happy bday on 18th... n i replied saying thanks but my bday is on 19th. Wahahaha... n he said he tot tat nite was 19th. Cant blame him, he was on mc but still remember my bday is nearing... hee...

n i went out to pick up sth juz now, sth real sweet & thanks so much for ur effort. Though the journey is far, it hadn't felt tat far knowing ur intention. Thanks... HUGZ...

19th Oct, 1230pm - 2nd part of the day to be continued later...

Birthday Celebration Part 2

19th Oct, Thurs ~ Somewhere around 1645, i got a big surprise. Sylvia called me to go downstairs to pick up sth. What can tat be??? So i went downstairs n found out tat someone had sent me a big bouquet of red roses! Hee... so paisei but feeling very happy too. I never had ppl sending me flowers to my office before and, it was kind of embarassing. I remembered some of the gals in the office did received bouquets of flowers on Valentine's day b4... n it had made me wonder how would the feeling of receiving flowers in office be like? It was sweet, and when i carried my bouquet of flowers upstairs, everyone was commenting wat a nice bouquet it was. =) It was really beautiful, but i did feel tat it must cost a lot as well. I wondered too who can the sender be... but definately, of cuz, the person tat came across my mind was Siewhung. Haha... only he would do such a thing for me. He had juz reached Kuching around 1500pm, and had told me tat he'll be bringing me out for dinner at 7pm tonite.

He brought me to Carvery tonite. He had wanted to bring me there a few times oledi to try out the buffet. I had never tried the buffet at Carvery, and Siewhung had told me before tat it was nice when he went there wid his colleagues last time, and after tat he owest say he'll bring me there to try it's buffet, but for a few times tat we had went there, Carvery was owest close. Tonite, everything was beautiful. The environment at Carvery was fine, and it's food was superb. All the steaks & chops were heavenly. I love the salads as well. Perhaps i had too much meat lately, and i seems to be craving for salads n fresh veges, and the choices at the salad bar kind of satisfied my cravings for veges.

When we sat at our table, i find tat Siewhung was moving uncomfortably. I asked if he'd like to keep his wallet n handphone in my handbag, because i think wid all those bulky things in his pockets, he was unable to sit comfortably. He said it was okie so we enjoyed our dinner. Then halfway thru our dinner, he grabbed 3 small boxes out from his pockets, and place them on the table in front of me, and ask me to pick one. Hee.... there were 2 small black box and a bigger baby blue colour box. No wonder it was so hard for him to sit properly. I picked the middle box, and opened it up. It was a pair of diamond earrings... studs actually. I asked him if i can see wat's in the other 2 boxes as well, so he told me that they were all for me. In the other black box was a platinum chain with an extremely elegant longular-shaped pendant. The last blue box contained a bracelet... he said the lady from 'Lazo' gave him the bracelet for free when he purchased the necklace & earrings, and told him tat beads is in trend now. I took a closer look at the bracelet n found out tat the beads were of uneven sizes and shapes. I told him tat these r real pearls. He said it was Japanese pearls to be more precise. They were beautiful... and very sweet. He helped me to wear the chain around my neck, as i wasn't wearing any necklace tat nite. I had tot of putting on my other platinum necklace, but i changed my mind. =)

See lee 'sms'ed me somewhere during my dinner time, and Seng & Chaiyaw & Hiewming called. The last call was from hiewming, and i had known it was her even before i look at my fon. I knew she'd call, and i kind of sensed tat it was her. haha...
We drove around town, and sightseeing... seems like it had been quite long not touring around town wid siewhung. We used to do tat almost everynite last time, cox it was the only possible thing to do after he is done wid his job. We stopped by to buy some langsat, then stopped by at mek's house. After tat, we went straight home as it was oledi 2300pm and i hadn't cut my cake yet.

Siewhung bought me a blueberry cheese cake from Southern. Blueberry cheese is my favourite cake, but Southern's cake seems to be getting worse. There were actually more cream than cake. My youngest sis & mum & siewhung sang me bday song, and i cut the cake. Then we enjoyed our cakes. I was very, very full then so i juz took a small slice. After tat, we cleaned up and siewhung & i had a long talk tat nite. Hadn't really know how things were going on for him now. He also bought me a new Akemi pillow. It's very hard for me to find a right pillow, because i couldn't sleep wid pillow tat's too high. If the pillow is too high for me, i rather sleep without pillow. The other time i tried the goosefeather pillow at his hotel, and it was really so comfy tat i had such a nice sleep. So he promised to buy me a goosefeather pillow. The one he bought for me was a goosefeather pillow, with ginkgo leaves for therapeutic purpose, as i always have migraine & headaches. But when siewhung took out the pillow, he found out tat the pillow is juz ordinary goosefeather pillow and he was very angry. haha.... he carried the pillow all the way from KK to Kuching, and found out tat he had paid for a wrong pillow... but i told him tat it was alright. The goosefeather pillow was still comfy all the same... so although the price differ quite a lot, i understand his effort.

We looked thru a lot of our old photos, back in our schooldays. It was funny to see how much things had changed and also the ppl around us had changed. I knew the most funny part was when siewhung commented about peishan... saying "huh?? so tis is how peishan looks like previously? so different!!!" I was laughing so loud though it was past midnite then. if peishan read this, she'll put her favourite 'angry-faced' icon here.

I had a wonderful birthday. Feel as if a lot of magic had gone from our relationship due to a lot of factors. But tonite, everything had seemed to be back to how it had once been like for us... bringing back sweet memories. I know how much he is wiling to do for me, and i felt contented n oso feeling sorry at the same time, for all tat i had deprived him of. Hopefully my birthday wish this year will be fulfilled! Last year's bday wish hadn't came true... maybe i was asking for sth hard to be accomplished, but tis year, i hadn't been greedy n i juz made a simple wish. =) Hopefully it will be fulfilled this year!

Memories of my b'day 2006!

burp :">

2006-10-08T21:18:00.000+08:00

I'd juz took one&half piece of KFC Hot & Spicy Chicken. Hee... paisei.... actually i shudn't be taking heaty food anymore since i hadn't really recover yet. But i really feel like eating it, and sis oso feel so tempted when i asked her if she's thinking of KFC. so i decided to give her a treat, as well as myself. Hee...

Last Thurs was like hell for me. Haze in Kuching was pretty bad lately, and the weather really cause a lot of ppl to be sick. On Thurs nite i had to ask mum to help me 'gua-sha'... my world seems to be spinning around & around. Having to stare at the monitor at work, really makes me feel even more sick! Well, Mooncake Fest tis year is pretty ordinary... juz like another normal day, juz tat we'd more dishes to eat than usual. Seems like most kids staying indoors, avoiding de haze i guess.

Sat was my final English Advanced Presentation Class.... glad tat i'd scored pretty well for my presentation. =) Proud of myself... if andrea hadn't deducted 5 marks for not informing her beforehand about my topic, i'd haf scored 94%. I had never tot i'd do so well.... haha... for few seconds up in front of the class, i kinda lost my words!

Tis morn I had a SURPRISE! haha.... Early morn i went down to Holiday Inn to get a CD which contain my Cambodia trip's photo from yunnyi's fren, who happened to be in Kch. Then i passed the birdnest tat karhooi wanted to yi's fren, so tat ah yi can pass to karhooi later. After tat piang & me had promised mek to haf breakfast at Kenyalang. Mek said got a place in Kenyalang the kolo mee not bad... so we went to have our breakfast there. After breakfast, we went back to mek's place... then the gals handed me a gift, saying it's my bday gift. I was like "Huh... why so early????"
and mek say... because we r afraid u might wanna use it before ur bday. okie... then i was figuring out wat in the world can tat be???

When i opened my gift, i saw tat it was a photo frame... n it was designed very beautifully wid my fave 'forever-friends' bear bear pic all over, n oso the pic of our geng of frens. I was so touched. Mek is so good at doing all these stuff, nice decorated hand made stuffs, n oso surprises... then i looked carefully again, i saw tat there were money rolled neatly into tiny rolls and oso a voucher. It was a hair-do voucher, and valid only until my bday. So i was thinking maybe this is the reason why they had given me the voucher earlier, so tat i can use it while it's still valid. Then i asked them, so where is the saloon??? How come no address of the saloon???

Mek was giggling while she tell me.... did u see the voucher clearly?? If it's a real voucher, then why r we still giving u the RM280??? Hmm... actually i was thinking the voucher is real, but only a registration voucher, then u still need to pay when u go to 'tat' saloon. How funny my thinking was, but i really tot tat way. Somemore i was thinking too RM280, the exactly same price as the saloon i asked for before.... how come they can get a saloon which offers exactly the same price??? ??? ???

I admit I was real slow TODAY... n blur... n finally when i get the joke cum surprise, i really couldn't stop laughing n beaming all over. I felt so touched by their sincerity... so paisei la, they must be thinking this ah ying, as long as watever we can give her to 'beautify' herself, she'll be sure damn happy! Hahaha...
Luv u guys a lot! Thanks so much for all the effort n the sincerity. U all are the best! but honestly, i really feel paisei lo... maybe i keep on complaining about money lately, and seems like i'm initiating u all wat i wanted for bday!
But really, thanks so much.... luv u all a lot lot lot!!! MUAH MUAH MUAH.... HUGZ HUGZ HUGZZZZZZ............

wat IS tis??

2006-09-26T13:41:00.000+08:00

Hey folks!
I got an interesting pic here, and i wanna share wid u all!

Now, what in the world is this??? At the first sight of it, it seems like some sort of a filter from a car, or a car's dirty old parts! But... no.... it's the carbon filter from my house's Amway Water Treatment System and it is shockingly, disgustingly dirty! Can you imagine how dirty our drinking water is? I shud haf taken a pic of the new, clean filter so tat we can make a comparison but too bad, i forgot to. Perhaps the sight of this used filter shocked me... and it really terrifies me. Well, water is supposed to be one of the most important thing for our body, but imagine drinking water as dirty as this! Yucks!

Lately, I'd been slacking behind a lot. The other day i tried to 'on' my Palm PDA, which i hadn't done for quite a number of weeks, and found tat it's battery was flat. So i charged it and finally i can turn it on, but all my data inside my Palm is lost! I rem ppl telling me tat if u didn't use ur handheld for quite sometime, it'll automatically be resetted and all ur info gone! Sigh.... wat had i done???

Then yesterday morn, i finally had the initiative to listen to the songs in my iPod Shuffle, and again amazingly, all my previous stored songs were gone! Kind of rotten luck for me, but again i think perhaps de files inside had been corrupted for quite some time, and i hadn't checked it out for so long. Wat is happening to me??? Even when i wanna synchronize my PDA wid this office PC, i'd fail to do so. I think the settings had gone cuckoo... somemore my combo drive [CD Reader & Burner only, no DVD burner... how sad =( ] at home was spoilt. So i couldn't install de Palm Desktop (for Palm handheld) & iTunes (for iPod shuffle) to my pc back at home, and i only got this office pc here to do everything, but i'm kind of packed with works now... so where got time to re-organise everything???

Sigh... rotten, rotten luck! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..............

=(

2006-09-23T21:14:00.000+08:00

Today sucks!
Arghhh... so pissed off! Well, the day started not so fine. I knew i had to send the car over to get the air-cond fix today, n i m wondering how much i will need to spend on fixing it. Woke up quite early, and feel really tired. Sigh... needed RM450 to get the air-cond fix. My heart cried out... cried out in pain. *sob* *sob* so much i need to spend on it, although mum offered to sponsor 50%, i still feel it's very expensive.

Then i went to the Advanced Presentation English class at 1030am. Listening to andrea speaks always delights me. I love to listen to her speak english in such a fluent way. She's a New Zealander and today she taught us grammar. I admit my grammar sucks... and i'd forgotten a lot about grammar once i left secondary school. However, i kind of felt pissed off when i had to do the presentation AGAIN today. We were divided into groups, and somehow i was in the same previous group. Last week, i'd taken the initiative to present when i saw that no one had wanted to make the move. I was hoping after my turn, it'd be someoneelse today but again... no one wanted to do it. And i had to present again. I really feel very unsatisfied, i really, really do!

Stayed at home whole afternoon and read Sidney Sheldon - Windmills of the God or sth like tat, but i haven't finish the book yet. Then i fell asleep til almost 1800. When i woke up, mum told me that the car's lubricating oil almost finish. I MUST refill it today la.. if not mum say the whole engine will get spoilt. Actually i really haf no idea tat u need to refill the lubricating oil. so stupid of me rite... but to me, it's money again. Sigh! Somemore this afternoon received my credit card bill for this month, and i need to pay a lot cox i helped my bro & sis to buy their air tickets last month. Well, i can only ask the money from my sis when she's back in Nov. Looks like this month is going to be even worse for me. As for my bro's, i can deduct it from the sum i gave to mum monthly.

I'd wanted to put aside some money for myself and to get something for myself next month. It's my birthday month next month, and there are some things i really wanted to do for myself. I feel like straightening my hair so much... which costs RM280, and i'd told piang tat day tat i'll try my best to do it before bday. But seems like i'd have to cancel my plan. I need to use tat money to help to pay for sis's airticket first. =(

Piang called to ask me out for dinner tonite. I was napping tat time, and i turned her down. In my mind, it's going to be spending money again, and i rather eat at home. But i'm so bored at home now.... sigh.... met seelee & hiewming on msn. Hiewming said they went to karaoke tis afternoon, together wid yunnyi, then dine at Seksyen17, and will go to watch midnite show 'The Banquet' later. How i envy them.... i'm so damn bored here and i wanted very much to join the gals, but they are so far away. I miss them a lot too, n part of me wish i'm over there working in KL now.... wuwuwuwuwuuuuuuuuuu.............

Seelee juz told me tat her housemate went for LASIK. It costs her RM6k... tat's a lot. That means i will haf to save even more if i really wanna do LASIK. Each and every dream of mine seems to be so far, far away.....

$$ M-O-N-E-Y $$

2006-09-22T16:33:00.000+08:00

Sigh!
How come everything need to be so expensive? Jess juz came to office juz now, cox she's on half day leave today. Now I'd juz received their invitation card. Yes, i am very happy for them. Their wedding photos are so nice, and their invitation card is nice too... and most important of all, they both are very happy!

When i asked how much did her wedding album costs, it almost reach RM5k. I nearly fainted.... it is so expensive. Well, Jacky Studio is so well known of its quality photo, as well as the photographer's 'temper'. People say that wedding is one of the happiest event that can happen in one's life. But all this costly arrangements juz in order to get married, can as well pull one's mood down.
Everyone around started discussing how good the photos are, how much they had spent to get all this done, why Jess had informed us so late, and how some ppl feel negative about her being secretive concerning her wedding.. and in the end, when am i getting married. I got a warning from my colleagues though, never to hide any wedding arrangements like what Jess did.
Well, actually i kind of know she is getting married this year, but it's just tat i hadn't tot it'd be so near! That day when i kind of tricked her into telling me if she's getting married this year (being the usual 'monkey-minded' me...), I felt a mixture of feeling deep inside.

As a fren of cuz i'm very happy for her & Jong, but in the end it made me think of myself. At time, i feel tat i'm aging & i shud get married soon. Sylvia told me juz now tat for my case it's like 'she heard footsteps walking down the stairs, but the person never came down'! Hard to interpret eh.... why, yes, i'm the unusual one.... i do feel tat i hadn't much time left, but it's the feeling of whether i really feel like tying the knot tat matters.

I do dream of a perfect wedding, and of cuz tat does not exclude all the stuffs tat u'll need to haf like wedding photos, dinner, honeymoon.... the list goes on, and at the end of the day, it juz total up to one thing... MONEY!

How nice if one can be happy and contented without having to worry ever about money. It seems to be hard for everyone to be threading on such a path these days. Sigh!

pig-ing out!

2006-09-05T22:53:00.000+08:00

Over the weekend, we had been pigging out. Once Dr. KC Lee is back in town, we always get to eat non-stop. I was amazed too at the state we pigged out.... we had a lot of food, and a lot of different food. Practically, it was only food, food, and more food if you have KC around.

Sat morn we went out for breakfast at 7th mile. KC came pick me, Piang and Yiengyin wid his mum's new Myvi. Off we went to 7th mile, and i finally got to drink the 'teh C peng' Special which i missed so much. I ordered pan mee, and the rest had 'chao chai beehoon'. After tat, i went to attend my Advanced Presentation Skill class, and the class ended at 1330. Was so damn sleepy....
Promised Piang & KC to go shopping wid them tat afternoon. So we went to town and the 2 of them accompanied me for my lunch at KFC. Well, though it was oledi 1500, but it was still considered lunch for me cox i haven't eaten anything since breakfast. After KFC, we went around shopping and tat hiaw hiaw piang bought a new pair of heels. At around 1730, we went to Kenyalang n had ice cream. Actually we wanted to hunt for durians, and ended up sitting outside the shop selling Frosty Boy icecream. So i called mek and asked her where can we buy durians in Kenyalang since our dearest doc was craving for durians for so so so long! Mek mek said she can ask her dad to help us to buy, so we juz need to go to her house later tat nite to haf durians feast. Wow! mek mek... "ni shi zhui hao de, ni zhi dao ma". KC asked us to accompany him out for dinner tat nite, so we choose to dine at one of the stall at RH Plaza Siang Siang where we can order dishes. Tat nite we had peishan, tnb, aiwei, KC and me. Food we ordered -> butter squid, clams, steamed 'tapah' fish, sea cucumber soup, midin wid red wine, & BBQ chicken wings. After our dinner, off we went to mek's house to enjoy our durians. Her dad is really an expert in picking durians... the durians tasted so nice. I wonder too if it was because we had so many ppl around to fight for the durians. Hee... but poor mek was sick, so practically only some of us, few of the piggies, were feasting on the durians. I was so so so full tat nite.... i tot i could haf exploded!

(S***! -17/09/06- it's practically one week after i wrote the 1st part of this blog. Stupid streamyx connection n i couldn't had continued wid tis after the connection had gone back to normal! Juz hope i still rem the pigging out session wid KC!)

On Sun, i only went out wid KC after dinner tat nite as his mum cooked his dinner at home. Well, we tot of going pubbing, but wid piang n peishan along... hmm... seems like there need to be sort of change of plans! Those 2 r angels lo.... so cannot bring them to devil's nest! So we went to Parkson n help KC pick a shirt. Tis guy having the privilege to shop in Spore but still ended up shopping in Parkson Kch, he really does not fit living in Spore!
After tat we went for supper at Jln Song Peach Gdn. I accompanied KC to drink Heineken lo, since we cant get hold of any hard liquor which would had been his 1st choice. We ordered rojak, 'BBQ sotong wid sambal' & satay. Beer tat nite was great for me. I'd an enjoyable time drinking wid him, tho i wish shan & piang would've join in too.

On Mon noon, KC came to pick me out for lunch. We went to look for piang & went for Bak Kut Teh at 'Grandma's Place'. Wow... after the bak kut teh, i kind of felt sick. Too much heaty food wid KC & i think my body was starting to get sick. It rained really heavily tat afternoon. Tat nite we planned to go eat crabs wid KC. He was craving for crabs... n we MUST teman him to eat. If not, later he go back to Spore, but still think of crabs n cannot concentrate on his exam. So i called Hai Pa Wang tat afternoon n told them to reserve 2kg crabs for me. No matter wat, 'wind or rain', me MUST HAVE CRABS tat nite. Tat nite we ordered baked crabs, fried crabs wid eggs, drunken prawns, 'ma li chai', black pepper ostrich & salted vege wid taufu soup. I couldn't eat tat much tat nite. My throat was starting to get uncomfortable. Mek was sick too. Then if only depend on pei shan & piang to eat, i think the food was way too much for them n KC's aim was to go for the crabs, hmm.... but i guessed KC enjoyed the baked crabs a lot. After tat we went to Room 205 for a drink. Well, we were really very full but that's how pigs are lo... they never stop eating or drinking. We had Ice Blended Chocolate, Choc Milkshake, Mango Smoothies & hot Hazelnut Latte. Sigh.... wid KC back in town, no diet plan will work out for me.
Let me share the photos of the crabs here!

post performance

2006-09-01T23:58:00.000+08:00

wow! it'd been a very packed week for me. Merdeka Day is finally over, and so had our performance on 30th Aug nite as well as tonite's dance. Hadn't had anytime at all to blog here... well, tonite's dance is finally over... phew.....

On the eve of merdeka, we performed at Kuching Waterfront and were on the stage when the countdown began. After our 'sketsa tari' everyone was drenched in sweat, even the ministers gave us disgusting looks, disbelieving tat we were tat hot! Well, try putting them in thick clothings and asked them to jump here n there on the stage wid those blazing spotlights right in their faces!

I got to dress up as an Arabian lady, and oso as an IPT (Institut Pengajian Tinggi) student. As for the lantern dance, needless to say, i'd to dress up in bright yellow, cute chinese costume.

We had thick make up on tat nite, and luckily we were there early and we got each other to help to 'paint' our faces.... if not, i think my face would haf ended up being painted wid messy colours!

Tonite was fun! We dressed up as ghosts for our performance tonite. I was wondering why do we need to dress up as ghosts for the Maybank dinner, and i finally understood when i saw that the theme for their event tonite was 'Horror Nite'! I was so impressed cox everyone really put a lot of effort dressing up themselves as ghosts n ghouls n monsters n spooky creatures.... even the waiters dressed up as ghosts!
I saw vampires (all different races of vampires - dracula, 'pontianak', 'kiong xi'), witches, mummies, zombies... oh ya, i din managed to see if anyone dressed up as werewolf. I think no one tot of tat! hehe...
I dressed up too, more like a zombie + beggar as my clothes were torn n smeared all over.... well, if i can get hold of any photos, i'll post it here right away. It was fun when we dressed up, we couldn't even recognise each other.

Let's juz hope i can get hold of my photos fast... i wanna share it wid all of u!

yummies...

2006-08-22T23:53:00.001+08:00

Past weekend can be considered as quite loaded for me, basing on my current personal schedule. We had planned to make Sat as our "sushi day" since we are all longing for some different type of activities.

Went out wid nb around 1115 to shop for the ingredients tat we'll need to make our california maki. We went to Choice Daily and got quite a lot of stuff... nori sheets, aust carrots, cucumbers, sausages, eggs, mayo tuna, mayonnaise, crabsticks, some potato chips.... namely 'Oregon Fresh' & 'Cottage Fries', and also a can of cocktail fruits & a bottle of Sprite which we later bought from Upwell, cox Choice seems to run out of Sprite.
While waiting for tan ah piang to finish her training, nb & i went to Kaya&Toast for light lunch. Well, i had kaya toast while nb ordered 'cai kuih'. Finally we decided not to wait til piang finish her training, cox there's so much we can actually start preparing while waiting for her. So we went to her office to get her house key from her.

Whole afternoon we were there, making california rolls. nb mixed the cocktail fruits & Sprite for our drinks. We had a great time... though it was only me, piang & nb. When the maki were ready, we invited piang's neighbour, jonathan, over to enjoy the maki together wid us, while watching Aeon Flux.

Piang asked me to accompany her Sat nite since she was alone at home. So i decided to overnite at her place, and oso bring her out shopping so tat she can get some food to bring the next day when she go hiking. I brought some of my stuffs over to her place, and i oso brought 'Jack' along. We went shopping and i kept on feeling very cold tat nite. Had a sudden craving for hot mushroom soup since the weather tat nite was chilly.

We cooked mushroom soup & added golden needles mushroom in it. Piang made me hot sandwich which was superb, with tuna & oso sausages. Din took dinner actually, after eating all those maki, so was feeling kind of hungry around tat time, so supper was great. After tat we watched 'Click' and the movie was good... full of laughters as well as touching moments.

I had a good rest over at piang's place tat nite. Perhaps the weather was chilly & i felt really comfy snuggling underneath the warm blanket, while hugging 'Jack'. Luckily i brought him along... normally i'll need sth to hug when i go to bed. Enjoy all the photos of our hand-made food here. Tho i really do wish tat more ppl could have joined us, but anyway... since we dont really haf much ppl around nowadays, sigh!... i guess we'll juz haf to bear wid it. However, i'm really grateful tat i still haf nb & piang around. I love u guys so much... thanx for accompanying me. HUGS!

thanks 4 loving me

2006-08-18T23:21:00.000+08:00

Lately i feel very lonesome, and i feel very empty. For the whole of this week, actually i was very free. There wasn't any practice scheduled for sketch tis week, and i only went for chinese dance class on Tues nite. Kind of miss modern dance a lot, cox we have not been having modern dance practice since we started practicing for de National Day programs - de chinese dance & oso de sketch. But 'ah ma' juz told me tat we'll haf modern dance practice tis sun noon, cox everyone miss the class a lot besides me! She was asking if my foot is okie now, n if i rest somemore... but i replied her immediately saying i'll be there this sun to dance wid the rest. Guess i've kind of starting to feel comfy dancing in the midst of my dancer frens now... when i juz started, i remembered i'd felt so akward.

I was feeling so down... even feel too demotivated to 'jot' down my ongoings here. The truth is i am very blessed. In fact, i tend to realise i actually have a lot of people around me who loves me a lot. Lately, i started to realise how much my mummy loves me. Last Sun, she knew i was bored & frustrated. I juz don seems to really wan to talk to anyone, and i feel like indulging in junk food. When we went out to get lunch, i told her i wanted to go buy coke & snack... and immediately mummy say to stop by at a department store so she can buy some stuffs, and oso get me coke & keropok. So after lunch, i juz sat in front of the tv to catch my fave series CSIs from 1200 til 1500, while indulging in my junk food.
Actually i do know mum care for me, maybe even more now... n she even buy me cup noodles for me to bring to office, juz in case when she doesn't haf time to prepare lunch for me to bring to office, i can haf some alternatives if i don't feel like eating out. In fact, i feel it's hard for me to be eating out wid others now... i juz dont feel like going out wid people most of the time.
Juz now when i follow her to supermarket, she oso tends to load her shoppings wid more of my fave stuffs... icecream, keropok, vitagen... yummy...

Tat day when i told mum tat my colleague commented about my health, & tat i need to take more veges, mum was so worried. They say i owest eat meat and seldom eat veges... actually i do like veges. Juz tat most of the time the food i bring to office for lunch are leftovers, and normally we don leave cooked veges overnite. So ended up, i seems to be lacking of veges for lunch everyday. When i told mum wat my colleagues say about me having the risk of low oxygen supply to my brain, mum immediately insisted i bring veges to work everyday and no more meat. She'll cooked the veges every morn for my lunch, and the very next day she really cooked greenies for me to 'tapau' to office. Actually i juz don wan to trouble her, but i know i'm not categorised in the healthy group, and mum really juz don wan someone dear to her being sick again.

Juz now i told mum, i wanted to eat durian a lot. Had been craving for it since i'm back from KK, and though he promised to buy me durians, he never did. :( When i tot tat durian season might be over oledi, i felt kind of sad. But tis afternoon, i saw ppl selling durians by the roadside... so i was trying to brainwash mummy to go buy durians tmr. Then amazingly sis & bro-in-law came around 2130 and they bought durians for me! Wow.... seems like they heard my cravings.

i owest feel i did not do enuf for my family, especially my mum. i was owest busy wid my own stuffs & more occupied wid frens. now i feel quite guilty as i know tat the ppl who love me most are still my family. today, my pet rabbit died... mum was sad tat de rabbit is gone. since esther came to our family, none of us actually have any free time for him. everyday we juz fed him all the same. I guess the rabbit died of old age, but mum was sad all the same. I saw her shed a few tears while we were watching de 1900 movie, and she told me no wonder she felt uncomfortable for the whole day like sth wasn't rite. She kept on sighing and shaking her head.
I din not cry for the rabbit. I was never a person made to keep pets. In my mind, it'd died because of old age. Moreover, it's lonely n lack of attention. Maybe, death is still de best for him. I'll miss him tho... but i assume i hadn't done enuf for him when he's around, if it'd left to find a better world for himself, i'll have to let him go. Farewell black rabbit...

"U-R-U-T"

2006-08-12T21:04:00.000+08:00

12th Aug - it's Saturday again! Tis morn i woke up quite early. I had a date wid mek tis morn, so i need to wake up at 0730 to get ready. Mek promised to accompany me to find treatment for my foot. Actually i had been limping around for more than one week now... and after each and every practice last week, my foot owest hurts. After the rehearsal on 3rd, i think i had accidentally sprained my ankle in someway or another, without me realising it, or maybe cox i'd skipped warming out tat day. And after every practice last week, i came home n urut my foot myself using ubat urut. And finally the swell became worse, and i really wan my foot to heal soon. Hadn't been able to dance properly for more than a week now, and whenever i went for practice, i need to wear my ankle guard so tat the pain can still be bearable.
I do know i shud let my foot rest, in order for it to heal completely. But i do not want to be absent for any practice, because it's going to affect the reputation of our dance centre, and since chinese in the practice are already the minority, i do not want to put the rest in a difficult situation. Somemore, no one can accompany me to go to 'tukang urut' and i felt so pathetic! :(

Yesterday i finally asked mek to go wid me. Since it's Sat, and i think i can rest over the weekend, so i made up my mind to go. Luckily mek had promised to go wid me, cox if not, i would not have been able to find the place cox i'm really not familiar wid Chawan Road. A colleague recommended me to go there, so i went. But we were too early tis morn and we reach around 0900... and the apek wasn't at his fruit stall yet. So off we went to King Centre to share a bowl of laksa and drank teh tarik peng and teh c peng! Both me n mek had oledi had breakfast actually, but being the 'tham chiak' me, i asked her to share laksa wid me again! Hee....
After laksa, we went back to Chawan Rd. and finally the stall had opened for business. The apek say per treatment he charges RM20, and i say okie. i'd oledi tot of giving him RM20 n had prepared RM20 in an ang pow packet earlier on...

so the torturing moment began... i guess mek must feel funny looking at all my weird expression of pain then. I was gripping the chair i was sitting on, when the apek tried to pull my 'urat' back to the actual place. wah lau... wah piang does it hurt! Luckily the chair din break under my grip... but i din pull my hair la! Imagine trying to pull my own hair out! hahaha.... tat would haf been lots funnier! After apek finish, which is only a few minutes... and he say urat back to normal place liao.. i was like "huh??? so fast 'kau tim liao' "... then i tell him the other leg oso hurt a bit but not as bad, so apek 'torture' my other foot again! But really better after the urut lo.... and i can even walked faster when i tried to cross the road to get my car. Mek was so worried cox i was the one driving, but i drove mum's auto-gear car... and if i couldn't drive back after the treatment, she'll haf to learn how to use auto-gear car under my supervision today! but luckily, i still can drive!
Then i went over to mek's place, and look at her photos which she took wid her parents n bf in Macau, and HongKong. Wah.... vacation.... i oso wan!!!

Later in the afternoon around 1430, piang 'sms'ed me to go pc fair n McD. Told her i wanna go McD, but not pc fair. So she came over, pick me up and we went to McD. before tat we went to pharmacy to get flu medicine for tnb. Then we went to McD and bought 2 set of McValue meal "L"arge takeaway and one choc sundae! One set of Grilled Chicken Foldover, and another set of Big Mac. Had been longing for fries n coke for quite some time n finally wah... i can satisfy my cravings! Then we went over to tnb's place, and watch tv while enjoying our McD. nb said he was very full, and he don wan to eat, but me n piang say the McD were for us, not him. We only buy him the medicine, so don worry... he doesn't need to eat. As usual in the end, it was him tat ate the most. I only managed to finish half of my Big Mac, and Piang half of her Chic Foldover, and the rest tnb sapu! so who ate the most???

Tonite actually i'd planned to bring mum to Kuching Fest. She wanted to go very much, and i know she was very happy when i offered to bring her there tonite. Sigh! However, in the end we had to cancel the plan cox the haze was quite bad in the evening. When we left from tnb's place, the haze was everywhere. Piang mentioned tat it wasn't safe to bring baby out, and she was right. I hadn't tot of tat had she not mentioned it to me. since if i am to go kuching fest wid mum, sis will sure wan to go along and then of cuz baby esther. So because of esther, we all decided not to go. Maybe some other day when the weather is better. Really scared of the haze, and oso HFM disease lately. since babies and young children have weaker antibodies compared to us, we really need to be aware of their safety and health.

So in the end, i ended up typing out all these in my blog tonite. i'm bored!

more WoOF or MeW??

2006-08-08T14:31:00.000+08:00

Dear friends,
So are you More Cat or Dog???

Piang gave me this link, http://www.blogthings.com/areyoumorecatordogquiz and i tried it out... and the results TA-DA... she was correct! Would you like to find out if you are a cat-person or a dog-person?? Do try this out and post your results in my comment link if you don't mind to share!

This is the result i got:-

I am: 20% Dog, 80% Cat

You are are almost exactly like a cat.
You're intelligent, independent, and set on getting your way.
And there's no way you're going to fetch a paper for anyone!

Are You More Cat or Dog?

Well, yes... i definately won't fetch the paper for anyone unless for my mum or for any other ppl who are not capable of doing it! So remember not to try pointing ur fingers around me, asking me to do any chores! I will only do it if i feel like doing it! Hee...

...at kch fest!

2006-08-07T13:10:00.000+08:00

last sat morn, i asked the rest to go out for breakfast. Feel bad cox i hadn't had any time to meet up wid emmy yet since she's back frm KL n she'll be leaving on sun. even when i'd already promised them to go to Kuching Fest together wid them on fri nite, i had to aeroplane them last minute because of practice. Mi, i haven't even met up wid the rest since i was back from KK.. so really sorry tat we hadn't had much time to catch up.

We went to bormill, and the rest had managed to turn up too for breakfast tat morn. Other than Mi, we had piang, sockhui, leeching, nb n mek!
Wow... seems to be quite some time tat we gathered together... oops... i mean seems to be quite some time tat i gathered together wid u all! We had kueh chap, laksa n oso popiah! After breakfast, we went home... except for piang, sockhui n leeching who went out to hiaw, and nb went off to work. Well, after sending emmy home, i went back home to sleep til 1330. Din feel like going anywhere cox i was lazy to drive, and somemore i miss esther a lot. Hadn't really have any time to play wid her lately, so i was hoping tat she'd be at my home on sat morn. Yes, esther was home when i got back. She was sitting in her baby pram beside sis, while sis was playing the piano for her. She seems to like music n melody a lot, cox she was being a good baby and enjoying the music without making any fuss! Normally she'd be climbing all over the place oledi!!!

I woke up at 1330 to have my lunch. Mum n sis 'ta-pau' noodles for lunch. After lunch, i juz sat in front of the pc and continue wid my 'Diner Dash2' game. Met peishan n tnb online, and we chatted. Nb asked if i'd like to follow him to Kch fest tat nite, and help at his stall. Piang had earlier mentioned to ask seng & daphne to drive us there if those 2 wan to go paktor at kch fest. since i have nothing to do at home, i don mind going earlier wid nb so piang n I decided to follow tnb there at 1730 instead. It's kind of early, but since he needs to bring those frozen prawns over for his customer, so we need to be early.
Talking about the frozen prawns, they were so damn heavy! He brought 2 boxes there, and he carried one, and left the other box for me n piang. Both me n piang carried the box but we never managed to reach his stall! All along the way, we placed tat heavy box down n rest, wiping sweat, then re-continue wid our journey, then stopped n rest again and finally we GAVE UP! Piang called nb to come back to carry that heavy box for us! Wat a torture! haha...

I found out tat nite i really wasn't made to be a salesperson. I find it really hard to approach other people, and even when any other salesmen trying to approach me while i was looking at the cars exhibited or those other salesmen who was trying to sell their product, be it credit cards, insurance, some cool gadgets n bla... i'd have purposely avoid any contact wid them and drift away as far as i could! Piang explained tat i was a 'cat person' more than a 'dog person'. Hmm... wondering wat she meant n she explained tat 'cat person' are more reserved. 'Reserved'... hmm... tat word seems to suits me a lot. She added tat normally 'sad' and uncontented people are more reserved. oopss... :(

Sigh! Guess you all can never imagine how embarass i felt when i really couldn't help nb much at his stall. While he n piang were busily shouting for 'tauke' and 'tau-ke-nio' to buy the food they sell, i was hiding inside the stall. Somemore being so in the way because the stall wasn't very big, and the workers had to carry stuffs around. WHAM! Felt so 'pai-seh'... and nb even joked and said tat he brought a 'flower vase' there tat nite! (flower vase because they are only meant to be displayed as ornaments, but not of any other use!)
How i hope Seng & Daphne will arrive sooner. hee....

Well, piang did offer to accompany me to go around, but i said no, cox she was doing a really good job, helping nb and i want business to be good for them too. When seng & daphne arrived, the search for seats & table began. Seng complained why hadn't me & piang reserved any seats for them since we were there tat early. Ahem... actually i had never tot of it! But it was really so packed tat nite, and almost impossible to get any seats had it not been for piang's thick-face! We tot tat since we need to wait so long for table, why dont we juz get a table near nb's stall n while we r enjoying our dinner, we can feed him once in awhile while he works. Okie... so we scanned for available seats outside his stalls, and finally we targeted at a table where a group of apeks where dining. piang purposely go and smile at the apeks' and i think it made them feel uncomfortable sitting there too long with us waiting around, and wid piang keep on smiling at them!!!

haha... finally we got a table. We had a lot of food tat nite.... we had 1/2 of a roasted duck, taiwan sausage, fried ice-cream, chic drumsticks, pastries, ice-cream & fruits. Did i miss out anything?? We fed tnb once in a while, and he was happy cox there were so much food for him. His mouth never rested tat nite, if he wasn't shouting to attract customers, he was busy chewing or drinking! About 2200+, nb finally sat down to rest n chatted wid us. Well, we drank 'liang-teh' and it does help because weather was so hot and a can of carlsberg was great!
After tat we went to Petanak to look for emmy. It was oledi 2300+. Actually we all were very tired then, so we only stayed a while and chatted wid emmy before we need to send 'cinderella' back home before 12 midnight!

fortunate luvbirds!

2006-08-02T13:21:00.000+08:00

i'm halfway eating my lunch while blogging at this very moment.

lately the microwave in the office pantry is in high demand. Lots of colleagues seem to start bringing their own food for lunch. Even when u need to reheat food, will also need to wait a few minutes before it's ur turn. well, wat has tat to do with lovebirds???

actually there are a lot of couples in my office. recently maybe there's a popular trend which is to eat together cum dating in the office during lunch hour. haha... why fortunate??? well, all the galfrens will prepare dishes for 2 at home in the morning, packed into containers, and then reheat during lunch hour, and lunch together with their boyfrens in the office. Sigh!!! how fortunate their boyfrens are!

actually i'm fortunate too... cox mum purposely cooked baby sweet corn, wid french beans, plus carrots and meat; and prepared rice for me to bring to office for lunch today. Juz tat i have to eat alone...
cant even finish my rice though i oledi reduce the quantity i brought today. maybe lack of appetite. sigh!

if i haf a bf who is oso my colleague, i doubt if i too would wake up early in the morn to prepare lunch for him. maybe i'll be eager to do tat for 1-2 weeks... and after tat, i guess my bed seems to be more comfortable than the kitchen. Even when i went to KK tat time, he purposely haf to rush back to hotel and 'ta-pau' KFC for my lunch while i was still lazing around in bed! Other ppl's boyfren are way more fortunate than mine. I seldom put in any effort like them in trying to make him feel fortunate. I remembered i once used to do that back in schooldays, where i'll bring him food during recess time if i could, and hid it in his drawer juz in case other classmates spotted it. Those were the days when everything was still so sweet... or maybe when i know myself very well back then.

Where had those days gone to???

I juz dont have the heart to do anything now. Even when someone called me last nite to ask me for lunch today, or tmr, or on any day tat i'll be free; i'd rejected the offer as i know i have no heart to meet anyone for the time being. I'm afraid the words i phrased out will hurt others unintentionally. so i rather be alone, and lunch wid my monitor!

sunday = restday???

2006-07-30T23:58:00.000+08:00

it's 1155pm now... and sunday is nearly over. Wow! today's sunday sure ain't any rest day for me... i'm so damn tired now, and i cant seem to be able to feel my lower limbs... starting from my knees downwards!

wat had i been up to??? tis afternoon i had chinese dance practice from 2pm til 6pm... but it dragged on til 7pm! It's okie if it wasn't the tiring type, but unlucky me din get to join the fan group, but i am in the lantern group. I wonder if any of u had ever seen any chinese lantern dance or not. Well, the moves are all pretty easy but the worst thing is it is VERY ENERGY CONSUMING! Wuwuwuwu... all thru the dance we get to jump jump jump non stop... sigh... actually we were rushing thru the dance today cox the choreograher wanted us to complete the whole dance by today. We'll have a rehearsal on this coming Thurs, 3rd Aug, and we need to perform in front of Deputy CM. sigh... since we wont be having anymore chinese dance practice, so we haf to finish today! If not, we'll haf nothing to show to him on the 3rd. Oh... this chinese dance is part of the Merdeka Day performance, and we'll be performing on 30th Aug. Wonder if we'll go on tv!

After the dance, we rushed to nearby kopitiam and had our dinner. All 10 of us, including tau-ke-nio who 'chia' us all. Actually by 7pm we need to reach Civic Centre for our sketch practice. But if we all go without eating sth first, i think we wouldn't be able to stand til 10pm. So we had a quick dinner, and off we went to Civic Centre. Actually i oledi feel my legs were very, very tired... and i even wondered if i can drive there. But i did managed to drive to Civic centre... and the weather tonite was cold cox it there was a heavy downpour, somewhere in the evening.

Once i stepped into the hall, one of my leg cramped! I knew i wasn't feeling tat fine, when i find it hard to move my legs even while driving. Sigh.... and when i walked up the stairs wid my frens, i told them i feel my legs were very stiff. And when i had my cramps, it hurts so badly. I can only hold on to my calf, and not being able to move while the stinging pain creeps all thru my lower limb! I was lucky today cox one of my fren helped me using the method which i did learn before in first aid. Last time it used to be me helping others. I'd wondered all the while if it does help, and now i can say it does! When he helped to pushed my foot, the pain does seems to go, but when i put down my foot once again, the cramps came back straightaway! In the end, my fren need to pull off my shoes and held on to my smelly socks to help me push my foot! Thanks ahLoy! It hurts... hurts and hurts! After tat, they brought another chair for me to rest my foot on it, and all my frens around saying i must put my leg straight! The stiff feeling was still there, and i wondered if i can go on wid the sketch.

In the end i did make it thru the sketch. All the while, making sure i won't be straining my calves too much. Phew! luckily no more cramps... and the sketch practice ended at 1030pm. So damn tired, and i really couldn't even walked down the steps properly. so i drove home real slow.... scared i might get another cramp.

tomorrow, my limbs will sure to ache terribly. i wan to cry! hopefully 3rd will be over soon. But i'm sure after 3rd, we'll need to change some steps and learn or add in new steps! 1st and 2nd we'll be having rehearsal as well! so long for my weekend... it's gone, and i've had a busy one. But at least i dont feel bored!

i'm back!

2006-07-26T08:15:00.000+08:00

Good morning everyone!

i'm finally back. Came back on Sunday nite, from Kota Kinabalu, and had been quite busy n tired so can only manage to update my blog now. Last weekend was spent in Kota Kinabalu, and i did encountered some new experiences over there.

Thurs afternoon i went around KK town, actually visiting to DBKK. Well, first impression i got was there seems to be lesser chinese there, compared to Kuching. And another is they have quite a number of mosques. We went to some of the shopping malls over there, City Parade, Centre Point, and some i dunno the name. It was raining tat time, and well... we bought an umbrella and went here and there by foot and under the shelter of the 'very big' umbrella. Oh... yes... we had Burger King! Ordered a set of Whopper meal and wow! the burger was fantastic. So big, and juicy n full of fresh veges! For dinner, we walked to Tanjung Aru beach and went to the malay stalls for food. I wanted to order nasi paprik, which i miss sooooo much... but the lady say they don have paprik anymore. Sigh... so i decided on nasi pattaya then, and we had bbq chicken wings. The wings were so cheap, RM1 for one whole bbq wing, and they tasted juz as tasty. Then we bought steamed 'jagung'... RM2 for 3! Wat else did i ate... oh.. and the fruit juice... the 'big big mug' (tai tai pui) only cost RM3! Wow.... really cheap.

Fri morn I'd slept til 10am and stayed in the hotel. Only went out around 3pm to get sth done. Rushed here n there and i did realised tat actually KK has very bad traffic problems, almost like KL. I don't like it... need to waste a lot of time in the car in order to get to one place. Dinner on Fri nite was superb! We had seafood. Sabah is so famous of it's seafood and i saw and tasted quite a number of seafood which can hardly be found elsewhere. For me, de fresh oysters were the best... they were so fresh and icy cold... a fren bought us there to have dinner, and i had tot tat the oysters must be quite expensive, but i found out tat they actually only costed RM18 per kg! The prawns were very fresh too and the flesh tasted sweet and juicy. The clams, they actually have so many kinds.. elephant trunk clams, white clams, 'tung fung' clams, japanese clams n bla bla n bla!

At Sabah, all the fish and other seafood at the restaurant, are being rear in aquariums, and when the customers had chosen wat they would like to have, these seafood are then being fished out from the aquarium. This explains the freshness of all the seafood tat we had enjoyed.

On Sat, i went to Manukan island for snorkelling. It was really a heaven view, and the corals and all the fishes were so beautiful. This is my first time snorkelling and i am very scared actually. I don't even know how to use all the apparatus. The sun was very hot tat day, and I'm tan now. I had fun snorkelling, though i couldn't stand the sea water tat long, and maybe i had been bobbing here n there in the sea, and before long, i started to feel dizzy. Hopefully if i get a second chance to do this again, I can do it better next time. At nite we went to Ocean Seafood for dinner, and this is one of the restaurant tat is normally visited by the tourists. So the food there was so expensive. We had quite a simple meal and it had costed us RM120. The oysters sold there were priced at RM40 per kg! such a big difference!

On Sun, we went around to some of the places tat was kind of far off. I had fish head beehoon for breakfast, and tried fish meat popia , and prawn meat 'kiaw'. Very nice but the food there are quite expensive. Juz for a bowl of noodles, it had costed us about RM6. And the drinks were not cheap as well... I guess it depends on where you actually go for food. The living costs there are way more expensive compared to kuching... and other then fresh seafood and different activities like water sports n mount climbing, i still prefer kuching so much more.

Maybe because I feel so much more at home in Kuching than elsewhere. I like the kopitiam style tat we have here, and whenever we wan to have food, we juz need to go to one place and you can get all the different types of food tat u wish to have!

great luv & great success...

2006-07-19T11:32:00.000+08:00

...involves GREAT RISKS!
This is wat piang posted in the yahoo! groups today. She told everyone tat "GREAT LOVE & GREAT SUCCESS involves GREAT RISKS."

Make me wondered a lot when i came across this statement. Sigh... who doesn't hope for a great love and most certainly, great success??? but how many would eventually be wiling to face great risks???
Many times along the path of our life, we'll face risks and major decisions that will affect the rest of our life. That is why we fear... fear of making a mistake, and lose wat we currently haf. Basically everyone has this kind of fear.

Will be leaving for Kota Kinabalu tmr. Well, this isn't sort of a vacation trip but wid sth tat i'll need to help out wid over there... but i'm feeling relief from the break that i can get. Last weekend had been quite exhausting for me. On last Sun's dance classes, I'd tried chinese dance. Actually we were sort of auditioning in order to be chosen as dancers to perform for an event during National Day. Well, chinese dance are so difficult... certainly not my type.

Hmm... am not sure yet whether i'll be chosen as one of the dances since there still are 3 more dancers who'll be auditioning this coming week. If they are better, than i'll sure to be eliminated. Tmr nite i actually got a rehearsal for a sketch which oso will be performed during 30th Aug. But since i can't make it, i'll haf to skip rehearsal tis time. The sketch is a short one - 10mins - to portray the history of Msia b4 we fight our way to be 'Merdeka'! Wonder how can they squeeze so much n so many ppl into a 10mins sketch... juz wait n see!

eeeeewwww!

2006-07-11T16:19:00.000+08:00

it's 4pm now and i had juz returned to office. I went out juz now to go to the clinic. Hmm... actually i'm not sick but i'm juz not feeling well. Since last Thurs i keep on having this funny heartbeats problem inside of me. At times i'll feel as if my heartbeats are racing and at times i feel as if i had a very strong throbbing feeling inside of my throat, between my collarbone. Then when my heart beats pounded too strong, i feel as if lack of breath and a little chest pain. Well, i really dunno how to explain to the doc wat was wrong wid me, so tat was why i hadn't gone to see any docs over the weekend. I was thinking the doc might be assuming tat i made all this up... so how am i going to explain to him???

finally i went to see a chinese physician juz now and came back and gulped down some nasty medicine. Yucks... so yucky yucks! And i still have 11packets of this nasty powdery stuffs to go. Well, i drank a cup of tea tis afternoon during my lunch hour... and after that i really regretted it, for my heart start to race and pounded so fast as if it's gonna jump right out from my throat. Sigh... i guess i really need to get sth done about this funny beatings from my heart.

The medicine and consultation fees was so expensive ~ RM54!!! and i couldn't claim from my company because we are only allowed to consult a GP and no specialist or chinese physician... and since tis kind of weird illness mostly only be able to be explained by a 'tabib'... wat can i do?? Need to spend on sth unnecessary again... humpphhhh....... and need to swallow some bitter, nasty, yucky powder.... uekkkkkkkk!!!!

So wat was wrong wid me? The doc say 2 reasons for all this funny and racey pulse of mine... gastric problem or stress. So his advice to me was temporary no sour food, no spicy food, no cold drinks, no tea, no coffee, no fried, no too oily, no hard to digest food which includes noodles, 'nasi pulut', bread, cakes, buns... sigh... i wanted to ask him, then wat m i supposed to eat?? he said to monitor my food intake for a few days and oso not to be hungry or too full; and see if i feel any better. hmm... yes, lately the weather is very hot, and the doc say cannot be tat because the weather is hot so keep on gulping down ice coke! ooopppsssss......... hee... but too hot will oso die! Then i need to try relax and free myself from stress, as being too stress up oso will cause the symptoms i told him. Well, i do know... but at times things are uncontrollable... wat can i do? I just hope my money wont go down the drain!

baby is sick!

2006-07-05T22:18:00.000+08:00

It'd been a quite a hot day today, so hot in the morn n noon but in the evening, it finally rain. I woke up feeling moodless... feel worn out and sad. I was thinking too much, and a lot of things made me unhappy. Why am i unhappy??? I'm feeling as if i'm very old now, but yet i have no achievement in my life. What do i mean by achievement?? Satisfaction from the major aspect of life.... a well-paid job, a cosy home, and a family... but it seems like i'm so far away from all these. It made my heart sob everytime i think about it. I also want to fight for my own dream... and my own life. I wan to strive too... I don wan to waste anymore time. I won't be young always... who knows how many years i still haf for myself.

Baby Esther is sick today. So pitiful to see her sick... sigh! Her beautiful eyes were swollen and keep on shedding the 'yellowish stuff'. And when i held her juz now, she felt so warm as she's having fever too. Pity pity... she kept on whining pitifully and cry once in a while. She must be feeling very uncomfortable cox she make all kind of whines n moans.
Mum made her swallow her medicine... and she keep on crying. Poor baby! Then sis wanted to rub a hard-boiled egg over her body cox can help to reduce body heat but she dislike it so much. Keep on crying so pitifully. When sis rubbed the egg over her face, i tried to make her laugh n distract her attention. When i shook one of her toys, it made a jingling sound n tat finally attracted her. Then i tried squeaking one of her toys, n she laughed. At least my attempts to be a temporary clown are not wasted.. she finally laughed and stopped crying. Seems like she's better after tat... maybe the medi had start to take effect on her. Hopefully she'll be fine real soon. Poor baby.... get well soon, okie.. then i can start to bully u again!

b-Dayzzzzz!

2006-07-03T16:59:00.000+08:00

Last week i celebrated a lot of pplzzzz bdayzzzz! On last wed 28/06, we celebrated ngeebang's bday. We decided to go for dinner 8+pm since piang n tnb got ballroom dance class. So i went to pick peishan, and we all agreed to meet at Chef@Home. Mek bought de cakes (all de small cakes...) from Wilson's bakery and seng brought daphne along. We ordered quite a number of foods but not big quantity and all of us juz share the food (more like fighting for the food... hehe)we had 'soup in bun', grilled chicken, caesar salad, fruit salad, fish n chips, and oso breaded fish fingers! the food was yummy... nice nice... and finally the cakes!
Guess all my description of the food ain't going to be tempting enuf, so i'd decided to post the pics i took for the food! As for de bday boy, hmm... i think de food's more photogenic! but he sure did amused us all wid his act as a jap-porn-star... yikes!....

on Fri nite, we celebrated piang's bday. It was de best! We planned a surprise for her. We know u r unhappy piang! But please don't be anymore.... we all love u a lot, lot, lot! I hope u LOVE our surprise! Mek planned so much... n she's really so good in all this surprises thing! What we did was I asked Piang out on Fri nite, telling her we'll juz go for a drink to celebrate her bday... but we can only get aiwei, peishan n seng to join along cox tnb got japanese class n mek got dinner. Told piang tat we wont be buying her a cake but we'll go to Tom's for cakes on Sat 01/07 noon for lunch. Tom's cakes are the best!

Before tat, mek n tnb went to piang's house on Thurs morn when piang was at work, and they told piang's mum of our plan and to 'borrow' her house. So on Fri nite, I went out at 0930pm to fetch piang and it was raining cats n dogs at tat time. But we went out all the same, and later i drove to pick peishan n aiwei. Then we met up wid seng at 'Tao' and we had our drinks. I had Mochacino... hot hot mochacino on a cold cold nite.... such a pleasure! hmmmm........... while we are enjoying our drinks, mek n tnb had went over to piang's place to create her 'surprise'! They made a big number '26' wid twinkling light bulbs on piang's floor and decorated the '26' wid balloons, and place her bday cake, n gift and oso mek's red eggs in the no. 26 they created. It was really lovely!
Then i pretended tat i have some thing on and piang suggested me to go home if i'm not free so we left Tao around 1115 and i secretly miss-called mek n tnb to tell them we r on our way home. While in the car, i made an excuse tat i needed to use piang's washroom... and when we reached her house, we all gave an excuse since tat i'll need to use her washroom, why not everyone juz go inside her house for a moment. When we reached the front door, and when the bday gal opened the door, we shouted HAPPY BIRTHDAY and we sang her bday song to her, surrounded by the twinkling no. '26'.

After tat, we had a small party... of choc cake, chicken wings, noodles, red eggs and grapes plus sparkling juice while watching the football match between Germany and Argentina on astro. Piang was so surprised... actually i really tot you'd cry... but why didn't u cry??!!! I told them all tat u'll definately cry... but u din even shed a tear! seems like u r not touched enuf lo.... but am really very glad tat everything turned out fine. Thanks to ur mum, ur bro, ur sis and ur bro-in-law! peishan was very happy tat ur dad was not around... (actually me too)... hee

on sat afternoon, we went to Tom's for cakes all the same, on piang's treat. on sun, it was the twins bday. Since both of them are back from uni, and i hadn't gotten any gift for them, so i bought a cheese cake for them. At first i tot of getting sth smaller, but then since they are twins, i guess i can increase my budget and get them a bigger cake so there will be enuf to go around for everyone. The cake was beautiful.. and they love it.

happy birthday my dearest sisters!

Though Fang only stayed at home on her bday, mum cooked her and Feng mee-sua for lunch, plus egg and when she saw the cake i got for them, she was very happy. she straightaway sms-ed her twin to ask if she had any bday cake, and if not, she'll wait for her to cut their cake together. Actually it had been quite some time tat we cut a bday cake together in our family. But this time, bro is not here... since he went for his orientation at UTM on sat. When we were younger, it seems tat we do it more often compared to now. A little get together, though we only have the bday cake to share together but no other food. Happy Bday Gals... hope u both love the cake. Juz a little gift from me, since ur sis am quite broke... so juz bear wid it. MUAH...

can u hear me cry?

2006-06-27T23:28:00.000+08:00

Tonight i am supposed to be in bed at tis time. I wasn't feeling very well, and keep on having migraines and headaches. Maybe the weather is too hot and am feeling very heaty... however, i still online at this hour and still look at de monitor though i had been looking at it for the whole day.

I'm feeling very down. When i online earlier this evening, i met a fren thru yahoo! msgr and i asked why was she sad. I knew she was sad cox norm she'll tell me lots of things. She blamed her moodiness on her hormones.

Later i went out though i wasn't feeling well, cox i feel like eating ice cream very much. So i went down town to get a cone and later went for supper at jln song. After my supper, I feel sad. Perhaps things are really better this way. Since you really wanted to go so much, then just go ahead. Things had always been changing and changing, til i'm so numb wid wat more to expect. Never was there any plannings which will make me feel completely safe. If anyone is to question me right now wat i expect in my life, I'll 'rain' rightaway! Yes, everything is so unpredictable, and i'll say it's only fair if i have a choice for myself too.

grandma will be sleeping here tonight. She had undergone a cataract surgery today at GH but the operation will haf to recontinue tmr since they hadn't got the suitable lenses for her. Since it's quite a journey back to Bau, grandma had came over to sleep for the nite. Private docs and general hospital really differs so much in terms of services they provide. GH couldn't even provide my grandma a place to sleep for the night. Her wound would haf been terribly painful since the operation is not completed yet... she still haf to bear wid the pain til the next morn!

Ppl who are rich and who can afford would have opted to go to private hosp for sure... but for poorer ppl, they'll queue and wait for the treatment they can get from GH. Deep inside of me, I'll always tell myself i wanted the best of everything. Is wealth not important? I really have to admit it is important due to a lot of things tat i encountered! Some ppl can afford to go to private hosp for deliveries, whereas the richer ones will fear so much as to step inside the labour ward of the GH... wat more to say about giving birth there. If you have a choice, which category will you choose to be in???

when i online to hope tat i'll be able to find someone to talk to right now, i met another sad person. he sez he'll never be happy again... wat does that mean? I think tat terms suited me more than it does for him. he sez he oso dunno why, but he juz feel sad. Sigh... seems like the wind of bitterness is sweeping across the land, bringing despairs and griefs and hurts to us.

After bla bla-ing here, I'm so much better now. I feel that i cant really shed a tear now. Whenever i have the urge to cry, seems like tears juz fill my eyes, and when i take a deep breath, my tears will juz be transformed into a deep sigh and that's all! Maybe i'm oledi too getting used to the current situation.... all this numbness... i won't expect anything much anymore.... juz take things as it comes. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. If not, then juz let it pass...

it's mon again!

2006-06-26T16:35:00.000+08:00

so sien n tired! Having slight migraine now n i think i better stop looking at all the codes in my dev tool for a while. If not, all the words will start dancing in front of me!

last week had been quite a busy week.

Last Thurs we went shopping for tnb's bday gift. We made him so sad cox he was thinking how come everyone's busy when he tried asking us out! haha... after we got his gift, we kept it a secret and asked him to come out for supper then. We went to Kenyalang for 'cha kueh' and 'pisang goreng'. Tnb... see how much we love you... knowing u'll be sad both tan ah mek and tan ah piang purposely say to look for you for supper lo. :) Me too lo... since i'm owest so tired, i still purposely drive down to town to shop wid them le! Hee... n mek oso sacrificed her pak-tor time to go pick leeing n shop wid us le.... how??!! Feel touched or not??!!

Last Fri i went swimming wid frens at Rajah Court. Wanted to go wid Piang at first since LeeIng invited us to go over to swim at the pool. Had never been inside Rajah Court before, what more to say about the pool. Tot it might be a good experience for me so we went. (somemore piang was very excited when she know we can finally swim)... but this darling piang din even get into the water for more than 5 minutes, and she started shivering saying it was too cold. Honestly yes the water was very cold since it was about 7pm and i guess the pool is not equip wid heater. Luckily piang had persuaded tnb to go and somemore he can be the 'eyes' for both of us. If he hadn't went, i think me n piang would have drowned when we jumped into the side of the pool tat sez 1.7m cox we cant see without our specs! hahaha.... n luckily there's tnb or else i dunno wat i would do too all alone in the pool, wid all the hotel guests staring at me later!

After our swim, we went for dinner at Open Air. Yummy.... we had pork porridge wid all the ingredients such as century egg, and egg including some of the pig's 'spare parts' like 'usus', liver and kidney... yummy... and we ordered midin wid red wine, fried sotong and oso tom yam soup! Slurp!
It was a nice an enjoyable dinner!

On sat nite, seng asked me out for dinner cox tnb told him i said it seems to be quite awhile tat i din see him. So he brought daphne along and i brought piang along and we went to Happy Valley. We had butter fish (how is it cooked???... wid butter lo ~so DUH! ); cheesy chicken chop; grilled lamb chop; and grilled pork. Dinner was okie though it was actually the company tat was fine but not the place and definately not the service! The waitress was so lame and duh, giving us such unsatisfactory answers for our enquiries! I shud have pasted seng's lamb chop on her face for giving such 'lame' answers! :p

Seng asked "is the spicy chicken chop very spicy?" ~ her answer was "SPICY LO!" (such an amazing answer... retarded maybe... for normal waitress de expected answer for us would be
A.Not Really
B.Spicy but it's delicious
C.You can give it a try but i wouldn't say it's too spicy for me
D.I don't like spicy food so it's too spicy for me )

Then i asked, "how's the butter fish cooked???" ~ her answer was "WITH BUTTER LO!" Duh... would u go n name ur dish butter fish and cooked it with ketchup??!! N i directly answered her, "Of course it's cooked with butter! What i meant was is it GRILLED, STEAMED, BBQ, or FRIED!?!" Such a "fei" person wid all the "fei" answers! (translated as 'lung' in mandarin... haha) Really amazing she was!
No wonder the place seems deserted... i guess de customers juz cant take it for them being so "fei"!

U ppl shud try go n asked more questions n we can laugh our head off at the answers given. I think we shud bring tnb along next time n the waitress will really juz throw all of us out!

argh!!! where's my card reader??!!??!

2006-06-20T23:01:00.000+08:00

i'm so piss off! Where is my card reader??? Sigh!!! I had juz downloaded one mp3 cutter tool and i wanted to cut a song short because it exceeded 5Mb and i wanted to upload tat song to geocities and tat song i had temporary saved into my SDcard. BUT my card reader is no where in sight!!! ARGHH!!!! Either bro or sis borrowed it from me but forgot where they put... so... wuwuwuwuwu........

Oh ya! Lately i had been rather quiet cox i'm building a very simple website and i wanted to upload it to geocities. Simple HTML but with my limited knowledge and limited time to use the computer (need to steal the chance to use the comp from my bro), i'd taken much more time than one is supposed to.
It's a site holding one of my latest fave song. Hmm... when it's done, i'll share it here in my blog.

Til then.... the search for my card reader continues............ *_*"

'did u see me cry?...'

2006-06-13T10:29:00.000+08:00

Today i'm feeling rather blue... n am listening to the song "Hear Me Cry" to suit my mood. Last nite, i'd a nice sleep, while hugging "Jack" (my new soft toy buddy pillow) tightly. My arm hurts all thru the nite... hated my arm when it aches like tat. But the pain was gone when i woke up this morn.

Last weekend had been a rather busy weekend. Had been a busy cum sad cum hurt as well as one of the sweetest weekend for me. Lately, I had a mixture of feelings inside of me. Last Friday nite was the best.
I had a long nite... performed at my fren's wedding, and we danced 'Dhoom' on her wedding stage, as a wedding gift for her. After her wedding dinner, i went to my best fren's house to celebrate her birthday. She's definately one of the nicest homely type gal tat every guy would wish to have. She made so much food for us... fried baby popia, "sio-bee", fried seaweed crisps, milkshake... she's really such an angel!
Sorry mek... i hadn't had any time to get u a birthday gift yet. I owe it to u first, okie... sorry for such lack of sincerity but i really did go around thinking of wat i can get for u, and ended up i wonder if u'd like all those dainty accessories as much as i do! Hmm... wat type of accessories u'd like to have most currently???
Sat, i went shopping wid piang n peishan. Helped piang to search for a new swimsuit. I hope tat we can really go swimming next time if we haf the time to. Piang, i really wish tat i can go for holiday too... sorry for owest being not able to suit my time. Wat trip can be one tat's economical but oso on public holidays???

Today the sky seems to be so dim for me. Sigh!!! Everyone is striving for the best for their own life. Wat more can one say if we all know tat this is the bitter truth, tat money is the most important thing in one's life??? Career is the most important right now... i hope u really think like tat and accept the fact. Feel myself useless and am ashame of my realistic behaviour. For most things, i do understand and will agree to the decision tat had to be made out of it. The question of whether it's right or wrong will remain a question forever. Today, I feel tat my 'invisible wings' are torn. Feel as if I had not the might to fly even if my 'wings' are fine. Am carrying too much weight in heart tat had tied me down and unable to soar...

My prayer for u: no matter what happened, take care always and make the best out of everything! HUGS!

my UnFinished lunch!

2006-06-08T14:04:00.000+08:00

hee...
today is a thursday. As usual when mum asked if i would like to bring lunch to office today, i answered yes. Can help to save some money so i can have more to spend. This week, a lot of my frens are getting married. Give ang pow oledi give til poor... so better if can save some money!

But today i'm pretty fortunate. 'santa-claus' decided to buy me sushi for lunch today. somemore plus delivery and sending it straight to my office! Plus the lunch i brought from home, i'd have TOO much to eat for lunch. So i reheated my food from home, and ate a little before i was too tempted to eat the sushi and finally decided to bring my unfinished food home for dinner! Cannot waste my mum's effort in preparing me food, though it was leftovers! The sushi oso i couldn't finish... too bad no colleagues around to share it with... he was too generous and bought a little too much for me!

TA-DA! My unfinished lunch!

Share it here in my blog then! anyone wants sushi??? Actually i think i know how to make these sushi myself lo. after i ate the sushi, i have some more new ideas of coming up wid the ingredients for a few more types of sushi now.... juz wait til i have the time to try it out!

a new week!

2006-05-29T21:17:00.000+08:00

today is the start of a new week. So sien... monday is here again n weekend is a long way to go. But luckily for this week we only need to work 3 days, since Gawai hols will be here on Thurs and Fri! Yippee!

Last weekend, on Sat, i went to fix my hair. I spent almost 6 hours there! I went at 9am in the morning... once the saloon opened, i barged in! Wanted to be the first customer as weekend owest a lot customer at de saloon. Who knows... colour, n hilight... oso finish at 230pm le.. 'geng' le... i sat til my backbone almost snapped! I spent RM250 last Sat... since oledi quite broke, really quite a big sum to be spent lo! but 'bo pian' lo, my hair like grass wor.....

Then on Sun, as usual i go for my dance class. We are practicing a new dance to perform on one of my fren's wedding. din finished practicing yet... wonder if we'll haf enuf time to finish it before her wedding lo. hopefully so...
new dance again... hee.... something to look forward to for myself!

HUGS!

2006-05-25T11:38:00.000+08:00

Today i'll introduce a very special character in my blog. He's not a patchwork-bear, not a forever-friend bear, but a ...........

Surprise!!!!
Isn't he cute??? Indulging in his cup of coffee.......
How i wish i can have a cup now. I'm damn sleepy... *yawn* *yawn*...
Be careful Taz... don't you dare to harm any of my bears! >:D<

kuching-ites' Fate???

2006-05-24T13:18:00.000+08:00

Will the wave of revolution sweep across this land of Hornbill???
After the election on last Sat, many had yet to overcome the shock of the result as the state had manage to send "5 rockets" shooting into the sky! Can it be considered as a call for celebration or a time to start fearing for the worse???

"Some had described that the chinese commnunity had made a choice out of sentiments. External factors that could have contributed to the SUPP's poor showing in predominantly-Chinese constituencies included land matters, the fuel price rise and even the wrong choice of candidates..." as quoted from The Star, dated 24th May 2006.

City South Mayor Chan Seng Kai had also announced his resignation. All this while the post of city south mayor had been appointed to chinese leaders. Who will step forward now to accept this challenge? Will it still be a representative from the chinese community???

Many had questioned the revolution that is bound to take place. Had the people made a correct choice and will it really benefit the poor??? These are the people's choice, for the people themselves. Hopefully in the 5 years to come, Kuching can still remain as how it is now if it's not in the tracks of prospering.

No matter what, the choice had been made. All the Sarawakians, or more specifically Kuchingites, can look forward to now is something which we had hoped SUPP could have done for the chinese community before this. Hopefully all the newly selected representatives will be able to serve the community as how we expect them to.

boring Tuesday!

2006-05-23T12:24:00.000+08:00

It'll be half an hour more before it's lunch time for me. Hmm... on a working day, lunch time will be at 1pm. As usual I'd brought some food from home. Saves me the trouble of having to drive out and thinking what to eat, and most important of all it helps me to save some money!

This month i'm quite tight. Perhaps i'd been over spending and seems like i keep on being in debt. But luckily the end of the month is coming, so that mean my pay will be out soon. Hmm... i'm thinking of putting aside some money for myself to get a haircut, and fix my terrible looking hair now! I'm so pathetic looking now... i really need to fix my hair.

am being quite sleepy and tired whole morning. Sigh... it's only tuesday today and the weekend is still a long way to go. But for me, weekend is oso almost the same. Nothing special to do except juz lazing around at home and sleep and eat and sleep some more and eat some more. Humphh..... so meaningless!

I'd juz added the AdSense advert from Googles but i really don't know how to use it. Seems like if i need to remove it from my site, i still need to wonder how to do it. I'm still so blur about it's function. Wonder if it'll really benefits someone...

Since my blog is still quite empty, I've decided to upload some of my fave things here before i can get my hands on any other more meaningful photos concerning my daily encounters. This bouquet of 'bears' is something which i find to be very, very sweet.

But such a bouquet would definately cost quite a sum of money. Anyway, at least i can share the picture here in my blog! Hee..........

ShocKinG Saturday for SUPP!

2006-05-22T13:00:00.000+08:00

Sarawak's State election was scheduled on last Saturday, May 20th. On this morning, I'd went to work as an polling agent at one of the spot destined to serve as a polling station. Everything had seemed to be within control, being totally new to the 'political voting world', i'd managed to gather some useful information concerning our duty as a citizen. Many had come forward to cast their vote, and even the crippled and those having other movement difficulties, had come forward. For once I'd felt myself to be such an irresponsible citizen as i'd never bothered to register myself for any coming election. Seeing such a scenario, I realised youngsters nowadays had not bothered to make a change concerning any dissatisfaction they hold against the society, but instead only stood aside to complain. Hadn't they realised that action is still stronger than words????

Perhaps this is wat had really happened in the Swak State election this time. SUPP had lost most of its seats in the capital of Sarawak. They had lost 4 seats out of 5 contested chinese-majority seats in Kuching area. The result was shocking to almost every Chinese in Swak. It'd been an unexpected loss for the SUPP. The news had labeled the scenario as a 'Chinese revolt' against SUPP, and many had commented that they had sensed tat something was amiss even before the election in Swak. SUPP had always been a strong party in BN, supporting the welfare of the Chinese society of Swak. It's not right to refer to this situation as a chinese revolt against the SUPP. No matter what, citizens has the right to fend for their own welfare... the issue hilighted from The Star dated 22ndMay saying... " Party leaders appeared to have lost the courage to stand up against the state Barisan's top leadership on various issues, like the extension of leases for residential and commercial land, and high lease renewal premiums that affected urban Chinese "... could not have been any clearer of how most of the citizens of Swak are feeling.

Citizens of normal wages had not much to hope for, other than a promising future for their children and of course a shelther for ourselves, which is best described as 'a roof over our heads'. This isn't sth too much to ask for, as its only human's nature to want to have the best assurance for ourselves. Life is getting harder and harder day by day. Hopefully the government will understand the pressure it's citizens are facing, and will come to realise that there is clearly unhappiness over issues of governance. The impact of the election this time should be clear enough to once again remind our leaders of the people's welfare!